Joke Thread III

[MikeJhn]

I thought the punch line was going to be along the lines of "He was eating more than he cooked"

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[llangatwgnedd]

 

[artie]

View attachment 158142

I remember back when ABS was newish, a pic of a car which had collided with the back of another car and one driver was saying to the other " the ABS worked a treat, the wheels never locked once before I hit you"

 

[JimJay]

I remember back when ABS was newish, a pic of a car which had collided with the back of another car and one driver was saying to the other " the ABS worked a treat, the wheels never locked once before I hit you"

Incidentally, Aristotle DIDN'T say what's in your sig

 

[Sunshine Roy]

Incidentally, Aristotle DIDN'T say what's in your sig

Wonder how one can be so sure!

Many folks cant rememeber what they said an hour ago let alone accurately recall everything someone who I'd assume they've never met said in 384 BC !!

 

[JimJay]

Wonder how one can be so sure!

Many folks cant rememeber what they said an hour ago let alone accurately recall everything someone who I'd assume they've never met said in 384 BC !!

Because what he DID say was recorded (no, NOT on DVD or in Wikipedia) and the quoted version in question was essentially a (possibly deliberate) misinterpretation dating from the 1980s.

Next question, please......

 

[artie]

Incidentally, Aristotle DIDN'T say what's in your sig

Prove it.

 

[Daniel2]

Because what he DID say was recorded (no, NOT on DVD or in Wikipedia) and the quoted version in question was essentially a (possibly deliberate) misinterpretation dating from the 1980s.

Next question, please......

But, is there a reliable, and documented, record of what he DIDN'T say, as well ?

 

[mwinfrance]

Ask Jacob, he probably made Aristotle's tables and chairs, and taught him how to sharpen.

I also seem to remember that he was to some accounts a b*gger for the bottle, Ari' not Jacob, ..quoi que... to go by the "sig".

 

[Linus]

I thought this was a joke thread!

 

[Robbo3]

Real Men adverts

 

[woodhutt]

A bloke is watching the Big Match when his phone alerts him to a text. It's his neighbour, Derek.
Graham. I have to tell you I've been tapping your wife for the past three months. I'm terribly ashamed of it and I promise I've stopped and it won't happen again. Please accept my apologies. Derek.
The bloke is incandescent and storms upstairs, throws some of his wife's belongings into a suitcase and charges back downstairs to the kitchen where his wife is cooking dinner. He pushes her out of the back door, throws the suitcase after her and locks her out.
As he makes his way back to the front room to continue watching the match, his phone goes again. It's his neighbour.
Bloody predictive text! That should have read wi-fi not wife.

 

[GweithdyDU]

View attachment 158142

As I understand it, it actually takes longer to stop with ABS than non-ABS if you aren't just slamming the pedal down. The advantage, again as I understand it, is that you can still steer and brake hard, which is of course a damn fine idea. Great pic to explain though although as the non-ABS dog (!) has stopped slightly before the ABS one. (What have I just written? lol)

 

[Yorkieguy]

Prove it.

Good enough for me:

Nope, Aristotle Did Not Say, “It Is the Mark of an Educated Mind to Entertain a Thought Without….”

 

[John Brown]

As I understand it, it actually takes longer to stop with ABS than non-ABS if you aren't just slamming the pedal down. The advantage, again as I understand it, is that you can still steer and brake hard, which is of course a damn fine idea. Great pic to explain though although as the non-ABS dog (!) has stopped slightly before the ABS one. (What have I just written? lol)

As I understand it, ABS exploits the difference between limiting friction and sliding friction. Theoretically, one could stop more quickly by braking just enough to avoid sliding, but the cadence braking is a good second best. Quite how friction behaves when dragging through sand was not covered when I studied physics over 50 years ago.
I love the smell of dead frogs in the morning!

 

[dzj]

 

[Stan]

Good enough for me:

Nope, Aristotle Did Not Say, “It Is the Mark of an Educated Mind to Entertain a Thought Without….”

Wow. Does this mean Aristotle could speak English [ before time ] as well as being a philosophical/intellectual genius?

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Doug B]