Joke Thread III

[dzj]

 

[Jameshow]

A puny guy applies for a job as a lumberjack.

“Sorry,” says the head lumberjack, eyeing the man up and down. “You’re just too small.”

“Give me a chance to show you what I can do,” the guy pleads. “You won’t regret it.”

“O.K.,” says the boss. “See that giant oak over there? Let’s see you chop it down.”

Half an hour later, the mighty oak is felled, amazing the boss.

“Where’d you learn to cut trees like that?” he asks.

“The Sahara Forest.”

“Don’t you mean the Sahara Desert?”

“Is that what they call it now?

 

[IZZY]

View attachment 153720

43 and counting!!

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[gwaithcoed]

Okay so I’m crazy but then I’ve always known that So where is the picture I replied to ???????

 

[Cordy]

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs.

Now I have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Please God, don't let Ed die

 

[Jameshow]

Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?


My wife said that quilts are better than duvets.

I told her to be careful making blanket statements like that.

My Himalayan friend has a cow that refuses to stand up.

I always see Himalayan there.


I bought a new pair of gloves today but they’re both “lefts”.

Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it’s just not right.

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Jameshow]

Wife's birthday tomorrow she'll love this on the drive.....
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/20424839...eJTeO&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=WHATS_APP
Follow me for more romantic ideas!!

 

[Flynnwood]

View attachment 153371

I asked chatGPT and it's reponse was 69.

 

[Robbo3]

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Robbo3]

 

[Jester129]

 

[Jester129]

 

[artie]

,

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Jaydee]

Patient: I keep dreaming that I’m covered in gold paint
Doctor : You obviously have a gilt complex.

 

[Jaydee]

What have “Winnie the Pooh“ and “Attila the Hun” have in common?
The same middle name!