Joke Thread III

[Doug B]

 

[John Brown]

Gangster retiring in Stroud. Very sad...

 

[Yojevol]

Gangster retiring in Stroud. Very sad...View attachment 153078

Are they on the fiddle?
No, and there's no strings attached

 

[Linus]

Are they on the fiddle?
No, and there's no strings attached

Judging by your geographical position and comments, were you instrumental in organising this escapade?

 

[dzj]

 

[bushwhaker]

Playing Scrabble is like talking to women...
You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.

 

[stuart little]

You might of seen me responding more this week because I'm I'll in bed with a bad chest cold but thanks to all you posters I have not gone completely stir crazy SWMBO will not let me go any where near the workshop so please keep up the good work it's like virtual woodworking .

Get well soon!

 

[stuart little]

Just to prove I'm not loosing it
I have been pineing all week to get down to the beech I thought ok I will sneak out I know a poplar place but missus thought different she said if I did I would feel the birch across my ash if I did I'm sycamore days in bed I feel much better she said she has heard all the old chestnuts now back to bed do we have a deal she's worse than meranti anyway will try again tomorrow it's a yew day
Must be these tablets I'm taking

 

[DavidRa]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[MichaelAD]

Chinese 'red' balloons...

 

[Thingybob]

Get well soon!

Thank you Stuart

 

[selectortone]

 

[Jameshow]

Ideal valentine's gift .... List of homeless hostels on underside....!

Follow me for more romantic ideas!

 

[Stan]

View attachment 152999

Try saying this quickly:

"The sixth sheik's sixth sheep's sick".

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Why?

 

[TRITON]

View attachment 153108

Sandboxes.
Also known as cat toilets

 

[Jaco]

 

[dzj]

Sandboxes.
Also known as cat toilets

He he, yeah, coins were not the only 'artifacts' he sifted.

 

[Amateur]

You might of seen me responding more this week because I'm I'll in bed with a bad chest cold but thanks to all you posters I have not gone completely stir crazy SWMBO will not let me go any where near the workshop so please keep up the good work it's like virtual woodworking .

Can I genuinely ask why so many people are using the word "of" instead of "have" these days?