Joke Thread III

[Doug B]

 

[PhilTilson]

are we allowed the odd cute rather than funny

What's funny about a big dog biting the heads off two poor little puppies....?

 

[Cozzer]

(An old 'un, but a goodie...)


More strikes.
More picket lines.
Activists with loud hailers, revving up the crowd...

"Whadda we want?!"
"Hearing aids!"
"When do we want them?!"
"Hearing aids!"

 

[Stan]

Two photographers went out into the African bush despite having been warned about a man-eating lion in the vicinity.

A few hours later they were confronted by a lion with a hungry gleam in its eye. The first photographer took off his pack, pulled out a pair of running shoes and began to swap them with the heavy boots on his feet.
"Don't be silly", the second photographer said. "You'll never outrun that lion".
"No", replied the first, "but I can outrun you".

 

[Amateur]

How did Einstein cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil..

No. That was the mathematician that worked it out in logs.

Although many here will never have used a log book they might not get it.

 

[AES]

No. That was the mathematician that worked it out in logs.

Although many here will never have used a log book they might not get it.

No, in "my version" it was a French mathematician who "chopped it off in logs". (And then he lit them with a taper, 'cos there's a shortage of bog paper ................. ).

Hat, coat, ......................

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Cozzer]

No. That was the mathematician that worked it out in logs.

Although many here will never have used a log book they might not get it.

Ooof...
Sines, and cosines...my copy at school ended up very dog-eared!
God knows how or why. Didn't understand them then, and definitely wouldn't now!

 

[Thingybob]

No. That was the mathematician that worked it out in logs.

Although many here will never have used a log book they might not get it.

Course we have you get one with every car

 

[IZZY]

Ooof...
Sines, and cosines...my copy at school ended up very dog-eared!
God knows how or why. Didn't understand them then, and definitely wouldn't now!

All those hours struggling with all that how much of it was any use in later life ?

 

[Phil Pascoe]

As much use a quadratic equations and German irregular verbs.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Amateur]

As much use a quadratic equations and German irregular verbs.

Where as Latin is spoken every day on here........

 

[Kittyhawk]

All those hours struggling with all that how much of it was any use in later life ?

I remember nautical school after completing my sea time, and I particularly remember the classes in celestial navigation and the profound realization that there was actually a use for log tables and geometry.

 

[IZZY]

I was under the impression that all the supposedly useless teaching was to open our minds to future learning that might be of some use . Or was it just tradition ?

 

[Thingybob]

Jokes wot jokes no jokes here mate now move along ☺

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Where as Latin is spoken every day on here........

Latin is one of the most useful things I ever learned.

 

[Cozzer]

I remember nautical school after completing my sea time, and I particularly remember the classes in celestial navigation and the profound realization that there was actually a use for log tables and geometry.

Many years ago - when I had a life - I used to organise the travel arrangements for various artists, including Deep Purple.
After one of their Japan trips, Ian Gillan brought my wife and I some gifts as "thank yous", and mine was a really neat Casio calculator. This was very early days, when calculators were rare here, and very expensive to boot.
I remember showing it to my old feller...
"What do I need one of those for, when I've got this?"
"This" was his slide rule....

Courses for courses, as they say.

 

[IZZY]

Many years ago - when I had a life - I used to organise the travel arrangements for various artists, including Deep Purple.
After one of their Japan trips, Ian Gillan brought my wife and I some gifts as "thank yous", and mine was a really neat Casio calculator. This was very early days, when calculators were rare here, and very expensive to boot.
I remember showing it to my old feller...
"What do I need one of those for, when I've got this?"
"This" was his slide rule....

Courses for courses, as they say.

Casio HS-8b solar cell. Bought 1975/6 still use it 'every 'day.
Still got my guessing stick from 1955 just as a memory . Also still works , Don't know what battery it uses.

 

[MikeK]

In the past 24 hours, this thread has been moderated 9 times for inappropriate content. This is not a back alley garage where you can discuss or display anything you want. It is a public forum and has standards of acceptable content.

The UKW rules are quite clear on what is prohibited, but there are some who continue to push the boundaries. If anyone had a post in this thread removed specifically for content, and not because you referenced the removed post, consider that as your warning. For those who can't seem to understand this, I am am willing to discuss the rules, unacceptable content, and consequences privately.

The Moderators are volunteers and we have better things to do other than remove offensive content from the forum. When a topic or subject becomes a drain on our time, we will close the thread or remove the habitual offenders.