Joke Thread II

[stuart little]

So the top box is the 25% extra box sold all year as a special and the bottom one has special wrapping and following GP s guidelines to cut down on sugars how thoughtful of the company C B s

So, what's the joke?

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 149610

He wrote the last paragraph in a tribute to Stuart I think.

You read my thoughts!!!

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 149623

Replace both bracket & wife!

 

[Cozzer]

It's time to roll out the ol' traditional Xmas joke. Old, but a goodie for those who don't know it...

Christmas just isn't what it used to be.
I remember Christmases past when we'd be all excited about the pile of presents in front of us.
We'd furiously rip the wrapping paper off to see what we'd got.
And those relatives who didn't send presents, sent cards with money instead, and we'd dream about what we'd spend it on.....





Oooh! I do miss the lads and my days in the Royal Mail sorting office....

 

[Doug B]

 

[John Brown]

View attachment 149610

He wrote the last paragraph in a tribute to Stuart I think.

I'm old enough to remember when John Cleese was funny.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Doug B]

 

[paulrbarnard]

View attachment 149679

This actually happened this morning in our village store. I went to pick up my usual bottle of milk and a woman got to the shelf before me and took 12, yes twelve, 2 litre bottles of semi-skimmed. She took ALL the semi-skimmed from the shelf. I had to get a bottle of the more expensive filtered milk rather than the stuff from our local farm. I wonder how many other local shoppers are going to not be able to get they regular milk today. Why do this in the local shop at all.

 

[flying haggis]

I think I would have challenged her about being so bloody selfish

 

[Jameshow]

I think I would have challenged her about being so bloody selfish

Perhaps she runs a children's home or a homeless hostel.

Plenty of reasons.

But a village store is pretty mean tbh esp on the elderly.

Must be better ways of getting milk but sadly supermarkets often undercut wholesalers.

 

[Doug B]

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Stan]

I remember just before one Christmas when I was little, my mum asked my dad what he would like as a present. He replied a crate of Guinness and a bunny girl. Took me years to understand why she hit him.

 

[Sachakins]

I remember just before one Christmas when I was little, my mum asked my dad what he would like as a present. He replied a crate of Guinness and a bunny girl. Took me years to understand why she hit him.

Yep, Guinness can really upset some women.......

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Yojevol]

View attachment 149697

Reminds me of one of my brother's little anecdotes. After his marriage failed and after a few false starts he's settled down with a lovely lady called Diana. Diana continued to live in her marital home after her husband, Ian, was long gone. The house was named 'Iandi' - get it?
With the prospect of my brother, Alan, moving in he suggested that his shortened name should replace that of Di's ex.
OK, said Di, I'll go with that.
Pregnant pause
NO, NO, NO Definitely not


Brian
,

 

[user 38384]

Reminds me of one of my brother's little anecdotes. After his marriage failed and after a few false starts he's settled down with a lovely lady called Diana. Diana continued to live in her marital home after her husband, Ian, was long gone. The house was named 'Iandi' - get it?
With the prospect of my brother, Alan, moving in he suggested that his shortened name should replace that of Di's ex.
OK, said Di, I'll go with that.
Pregnant pause
NO, NO, NO Definitely not


Brian
,

I can recommend their apple streusel

 

[Yojevol]

I can recommend their apple streusel

You mean you know Al & Di? Amazing