Joke Thread II

[Thingybob]

Brings to mind a song "And all that I knew was the hole in my ...........had been letting in water" you know when you can't quite remember the words

Flue ?

 

[Ozi]

Flue ?

You have it preciously Sir

 

[dzj]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Amateur]

My insurance company does not show tel number or e mail for contacting them on the internet.
Instead they have "Rodney" a question and answer robot.
It works quite well.
I put in,
"When is my insurance due?"
Rodney answered
"I'm afraid we don't supply cover in Israel"
Is this the future?

 

[Suffolkboy]

.

 

[Thingybob]

The judge is just about to pass sentence on the villian when the doors fly open and a man wearing wooly hat,gloves ,scarf,furcoat and a pair of mukluks and procedes to molest the females in court then runs out . The judge asks the court official what the hell was that " Nothing m' laud just a muffeled titter running around the court "

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Suffolkboy]

View attachment 144880

I just saw that on another forum and was about to post it here...

 

[user 38384]

 

[Robbo3]

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 144868

'Ey up. You've been digging deep, lad! Haven't heard that one for at least half a century!

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 144881

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[selectortone]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why would a chef need 148 get well soon cards?

 

[woodhutt]

Janice from the Muppets c. 1980's

Miss Crimea 2022

Forty years on and the girl's still turning heads!

 

[guineafowl21]

Forty years on and the girl's still turning heads!

And stomachs!

 

[woodhutt]

And stomachs!

To be fair, I didn't say which direction the heads were turning.

 

[Suffolkboy]

.

 

[Stan]

Judge to country bumpkin:

"Despite the fact that you are a fecund liar, I see no option but to let you go. Case dismissed."

Bumpkin:

"Thank'ee sirr. You're a fecund good judge".