Joke Thread II

[Pedronicus]

 

[Cozzer]

Talking to a pal in the pub the other night, it turned out that he'd witnessed a fatal motorbike* accident a few months before.
A notorious local hump-backed bridge had claimed yet another victim, but this time it had been nothing to do with black ice or snow. Yes, it had been bitter what with the wind chill that night - in fact, the rider had put his thick, padded coat on back to front in order to keep his throat and chest warm against the biting wind....
Anyway, the pronounced bridge hump had fooled the biker, and the sudden jolt had thrown him off the machine. My pal, wandering from the pub that night, had come across the prone rider, on his back, in the middle of the road....
"My God!" I said to my mate...."What did you do?!"
"Well, I was amazed! I could hear him grunting, saying something about 'just being winded', and that he'd be 'alright once he'd got his breath back'! That's when it all got a bit complicated....."
"How so?" I asked.
"Well, I decided to help him, but as soon as I turned his head the right way round, he went and snuffed it...."




* (Explanation for Stuart - first please see Motorcycle - Wikipedia. You perhaps haven't read about them in newspapers, or seen them on TV. To explain the joke, note that the rider had his coat on the wrong way round, but my pal didn't know that.....)

 

[Robbo3]

 

[dzj]

 

[Tony51]

View attachment 136693

I have this on a tee shirt. Amazon I think, couple years old now.
Tony

 

[quintain]

Talking to a pal in the pub the other night, it turned out that he'd witnessed a fatal motorbike* accident a few months before.
A notorious local hump-backed bridge had claimed yet another victim, but this time it had been nothing to do with black ice or snow. Yes, it had been bitter what with the wind chill that night - in fact, the rider had put his thick, padded coat on back to front in order to keep his throat and chest warm against the biting wind....
Anyway, the pronounced bridge hump had fooled the biker, and the sudden jolt had thrown him off the machine. My pal, wandering from the pub that night, had come across the prone rider, on his back, in the middle of the road....
"My God!" I said to my mate...."What did you do?!"
"Well, I was amazed! I could hear him grunting, saying something about 'just being winded', and that he'd be 'alright once he'd got his breath back'! That's when it all got a bit complicated....."
"How so?" I asked.
"Well, I decided to help him, but as soon as I turned his head the right way round, he went and snuffed it...."




* (Explanation for Stuart - first please see Motorcycle - Wikipedia. You perhaps haven't read about them in newspapers, or seen them on TV. To explain the joke, note that the rider had his coat on the wrong way round, but my pal didn't know that.....)

Funny-BUT possible. In the late-ish 1960s or thereabouts a motorcycle cop and a good friend of mine, described repeatedly by my wife as a hunk !! woke up in hospital following a bad on-duty road collision to discover the sniggering of nurses and other patients all laughing and questioninig such a guy wearing the new fashionned women's tights, being almost from chest to toes. He told them they kept him warm on a long 8 hour shift. He always knew no one believed him.

 

[AES]

QUOTE: * (Explanation for Stuart - first please see Motorcycle - Wikipedia. You perhaps haven't read about them in newspapers, or seen them on TV. To explain the joke, note that the rider had his coat on the wrong way round, but my pal didn't know that.....),

Ahhhhhhhhhh, come on Cozzer & Co! Leave Stuart alone. At least he has the big brass ones to stand up and be counted amongst those - like me - who often don't understand these "modern" jokes. P.S. What's Google?? What's a motorcycle?? What's Wikipedia? None of those are in my copy of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1903 edition.

 

[Droogs]

I do. I used to snaffle a pair of the girlfriends whenever we went on excercise to Norway

 

[AES]

Yeah, me too. But not Norway, working outside at night in winter (RAF Germany, 1960s).

 

[Pedronicus]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Yeah, me too. But not Norway, working outside at night in winter (RAF Germany, 1960s).

And me, on Dartmoor in mid winter as a boy.

 

[Jameshow]

And me, on Dartmoor in mid winter as a boy.

Who would put a village on the top of Dartmoor?! Beats me!!

 

[Phil Pascoe]

View attachment 136707

If it flies, floats or **cks, hire it, don't buy it.

 

[Tris]

And me, on Dartmoor in mid winter as a boy.

Wondered how some of those legends came about

 

[Robbo3]

 

[IZZY]

Funny-BUT possible. In the late-ish 1960s or thereabouts a motorcycle cop and a good friend of mine, described repeatedly by my wife as a hunk !! woke up in hospital following a bad on-duty road collision to discover the sniggering of nurses and other patients all laughing and questioninig such a guy wearing the new fashionned women's tights, being almost from chest to toes. He told them they kept him warm on a long 8 hour shift. He always knew no one believed him.

When I raced in the Manx Grand Prix in the Isle of Man I always wore tights under my leathers for morning practice which started at dawn in those days and could be b****y cold.

 

[stuart little]

QUOTE: * (Explanation for Stuart - first please see Motorcycle - Wikipedia. You perhaps haven't read about them in newspapers, or seen them on TV. To explain the joke, note that the rider had his coat on the wrong way round, but my pal didn't know that.....),

Ahhhhhhhhhh, come on Cozzer & Co! Leave Stuart alone. At least he has the big brass ones to stand up and be counted amongst those - like me - who often don't understand these "modern" jokes. P.S. What's Google?? What's a motorcycle?? What's Wikipedia? None of those are in my copy of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1903 edition.

Too late, I heard this one yonks ago!

 

[dzj]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Alex H]