Joke Thread II

[MorrisWoodman12]

There's more posts here complaining about off topic posts than there are off topic posts !

So this is me, posting an off topic post to complain about all the people posting off topic posts complaining about other people's off topic posts

How about a new rule: no off topic comments can be posted unless accompanied by a joke. That should quarter the number of off topic comments and double the number of jokes.
But since this is off topic and doesn't include a joke this doesn't exist, it's just a figment of your collective imaginations.

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Limey Lurker]

View attachment 135058

Is that the BMW that everyone's been talking about?

 

[Phill05]

No it's a battery.

 

[Thingybob]

Is that the BMW that everyone's been talking about?

Grrrrrrrrrr

 

[stuart little]

There's more posts here complaining about off topic posts than there are off topic posts !

So this is me, posting an off topic post to complain about all the people posting off topic posts complaining about other people's off topic posts

Can I complain about you posting off topic?

 

[user 38384]

May the 4th be with you….

 

[AES]

Sorry, but that looks like a FORK to me (once again, hat, coat ................................... door)!

 

[Jameshow]

Sorry, but that looks like a FORK to me (once again, hat, coat ................................... door)!

I don't get it either!

 

[Thingybob]

Sorry, but that looks like a FORK to me (once again, hat, coat ................................... door)!

Trid ent was funny to me ....................(wait for me)

 

[IZZY]

Trid ent was funny to me ....................(wait for me)

I'm sure nobody has missed it but ........ 4 th.... fork... force. If there is another joke in there I'm sorry.

 

[nickds1]

Good lord. Folk are slow. May 4th is International Star Wars Day, as in “ May the Force be with you”. Think about it. If you are still lost, stop reading now and move on to the next comment.

The painting is a modified version of “American Gothic” by Grant Wood American Gothic - Grant Wood (American, 1891-1942) - Google Arts & Culture

The heads have been replaced with two major Star Wars characters, Princess Leia Organa (played by Carrie Fisher) and Governor Tarkin (played by Peter Cushing).

It’s a JOKE.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Thanks for the explanation. I've never seen Star Wars, therefore to me it wasn't a joke.

 

[AES]

He said, QUOTE: It’s a JOKE. UNQUOTE:
I said, QUOTE: Are you QUITE sure about that? UNQUOTE:

Honestly, who the hell else would know that 4th May is, (What is it), "International Star Wars Day"???????? WHO said it is? And who cares anyway?

Did you know that 6th May (1936) is the Anniversary of the LZ 129 "Graf Hindenburg" Zeppelin airship crash at Lakehurst NJ. Who else knew that (apart from those with an interest in airships, plus, perhaps those interested in Led Zeppelin, the rock group)?

And who else cares.

I suggest the answer is NOBODY!

Blimey, keep a sense of P E R S P E C T I V E mate.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

To be fair, even I knew that 4/5 is International Star Wars Day, despite never having seen it.
(It could be a James Bond Day, though ............ I've never seen a J.B. film either. )

 

[IZZY]

To be fair, even I knew that 4/5 is International Star Wars Day, despite never having seen it.
(It could be a James Bond Day, though ............ I've never seen a J.B. film either. )

You haven't missed much.

 

[Jameshow]

JB is much better than star wars...

 

[AES]

To be fair, even I knew that 4/5 is International Star Wars Day, despite never having seen it.
(It could be a James Bond Day, though ............ I've never seen a J.B. film either. )

Just for my further "edification" Phil, just HOW did you know it's "International Star Wars Day" please?

That was your starter for 10. Your first supplementary is "WHO said it's International Star Wars Day" please?

IF it matters at all (which it clearly doesn't!) I've seen and enjoyed both some Star Wars films and some James Bonds films (the earlier ones were much better IMO) but I didn't know it's "I. S. W. Day".

 

[Stan]

Success is:

at age 3, not messing your pants;

at 5, having lots of friends;

at 15, having ***;

at 30, lots of money;

at 70, having ***;

at 80, having lots of friends;

at 90, not messing your pants.

 

[Jameshow]

All Medical Drugs have Two Names,
A Trade Name and a Generic Name.
For Example :-
The Trade Name is Tylenol and it's Generic Name is Acetaminophen..
Aleve is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The F.D.A. has been looking for a Generic Name for Viagra..????
After careful consideration by a Team of UK Government experts,
It recently announced that it has settled on the Generic Name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix,
And of course, my personal favourite ;-
*
"IBEPOKIN".