Joke Thread II

[stuart little]

Nah! It was those two Roman guys Morecombus and Wiseus.

Wisearsus?

 

[artie]

And she is allowed to vote . . .

There's more than a few of her videos online.
I don't think she's as Dumb as she makes out.

 

[Pedronicus]

 

[Daniel2]

And she is allowed to vote . . .

Well, full marks to her, for keeping the dead pan face while
they made that clip.

 

[smugdruggler]

There's more than a few of her videos online.
I don't think she's as Dumb as she makes out.

She is not, they are a couple and they are all put up jobs. Some of them are really funny.

 

[smugdruggler]

Another one from them which is my absolute favourite

 

[Doug B]

 

[John Brown]

View attachment 133188

That must surely be intentional. There's no apparent reason for the icon to be so far off centre, if not to purposely utilise the handle.
Anyway, that's what I call a door knob.

 

[loftyhermes]

 

[Jester129]

 

[Jester129]

 

[JAW911]

View attachment 133091

Years ago I helped a friend on his new greengrocer’s shop’s opening day. We were selling cauliflowers at 30p each or three for a pound. Amazingly many took the offer!

 

[cisamcgu]

 

[SamG340]

You might think that's just plain old lettuce. But I'm telling you... It's just the tip of the iceberg ...

 

[niemeyjt]

Years ago I helped a friend on his new greengrocer’s shop’s opening day. We were selling cauliflowers at 30p each or three for a pound. Amazingly many took the offer!

Tesco ran an offer - for £1.17 you could buy bananas and get £1.25 of Clubcard points - so an 8p profit.

Someone did the maths and bought 942lb of fruit, give it away - and made £25 profit.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...t-away-and-make-pounds-25-profit-1283219.html

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Some years ago a local paper had coupons for a free Wimpy burger. The burger at the time was 1/6d (7 1/2p), the paper 4d (less than 2p).
We were at school and we ate burgers for lunch for weeks after buying every paper in the city.

 

[Amateur]

Generally - almost always - I agree with this but I do know of one exception. It dates back a few years but let's see how many people understand the joke.

It goes back to when a goalkeeper called David Seaman was nearing the end of his top-level career and apparently he let in a series of "easy" goals. Don't ask for details because I am not a football fan. Anyway, a newspaper ran a caption competition based on a photo of the ball getting past him for one of these goals. The winning caption was "Even the ancient mariner...". I didn't understand it until it was explained to me but once it was explained I did think it was funny. Does the panel agree?

How many people understand the joke? How many people think it is funny? How many people, like me, need the joke explained but then agree that it is funny?

Whats a "panel"?

 

[Tris]

Raised and fielded?

 

[Doug B]

 

[Garden Shed Projects]

If you go to Dominos and order a pizza with wedges, adding a 1.5l bottle of coke to the order knocks £8 off. I currently have around 8 bottles of coke I am never gonna drink.