Joke Thread II

[Jameshow]

When I were a lad, I would get up at 1am, walk 100 miles to the local docks with my £20 and buy a tanker full of oil, drag it 100 miles back to the farm and spend the afternoon heating it in an old hot water tank, but I got 8 million gallons for my £20!

Was Noah just about loaded by any chance?!!

 

[Jameshow]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Toys-R-U...2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0For some reason my new table saw isn't cutting!

 

[IZZY]

I remember when you could have filled eight or nine cars from empty for that.

When an apprentice in the 60's petrol was 4/11p a gallon but on £4.00 a week and in digs I could only afford 1/2 gallon a week for my M/cycle. it's always seemed expensive.

 

[Linus]

 

[Cozzer]

Even Jimi Hendrix got in on the argument!!

Just before he shot his ol' lady and went down Mexico way....

 

[IZZY]

View attachment 131080

And I don't understand EITHER.

 

[Thingybob]

And I don't understand EITHER.

Or people walking the streets looking for Pokemons that dont actualy exist ????????

 

[Tris]

People wandering about, mumbling, and pointing at things that don't exist.....

Sounds like Worcester on any Saturday night

 

[artie]

When an apprentice in the 60's petrol was 4/11d a gallon but on £4.00 a week and in digs I could only afford 1/2 gallon a week for my M/cycle. it's always seemed expensive.

My schoolboy math tells me it's cheaper now.

 

[Jester129]

 

[Vann]

When I were a lad, I would get up at 1am, walk 100 miles to the local docks with my £20...

And you try an' tell that to the young people of today - and they won't believe you (with thanks to MP).

Cheers, Vann.

 

[Thingybob]

When I were a lad, I would get up at 1am, walk 100 miles to the local docks with my £20 and buy a tanker full of oil, drag it 100 miles back to the farm and spend the afternoon heating it in an old hot water tank, but I got 8 million gallons for my £20!

Is this the original cut of the Proclaimers hit Sandy lol

 

[Sandyn]

Is this the original cut of the Proclaimers hit Sandy lol

oops!! I'll get done for stealing their lyrics

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Linus]

 

[niemeyjt]

I know you woodworkers out there will be able to answer this for me.

My doctor has asked me to take a stool sample. Should it be three-legged or four-legged?

 

[Keith Cocker]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Toys-R-U...2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0For some reason my new table saw isn't cutting!

You should have used a parf guide to drill the MFT.

 

[user 38384]

 

[Phill05]

I know you woodworkers out there will be able to answer this for me.

My doctor has asked me to take a stool sample. Should it be three-legged or four-legged?

Should be more like a bar stool single rod with a thick flared out base.

 

[paulrbarnard]

View attachment 131134

took me a while...