Joke thread commentary, criticism and explanations.....

[DrPhill]

How a bout a thread for all those non-joke comments that get put in the joke thread. Here you can
- Ask for explanations
- Criticise the jokes
- etc

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I'd sooner stuff bees up my nose than read that.

 

[Noel]

I'd sooner stuff bees up my nose than read that.

Honey bees or Bumble bees? I think it's important to understand which and your reasoning behind such an experiment.

 

[Just4Fun]

Honey bees or Bumble bees?

It is important to be specific. It reminds me of a lady who wanted a tattoo of a butterfly on each arse cheek. The tattoo artist said he was rubbish at doing butterflies and he suggested she have bees instead. Eventually she agreed to that and the guy set to work.
At home that night the lady bent over, dropped her pants and said to her husband "What do you think of that?". Her husband said "Who is BOB?".

 

[Geoff_S]

It is important to be specific. It reminds me of a lady who wanted a tattoo of a butterfly on each buttocks cheek. The tattoo artist said he was rubbish at doing butterflies and he suggested she have bees instead. Eventually she agreed to that and the guy set to work.
At home that night the lady bent over, dropped her pants and said to her husband "What do you think of that?". Her husband said "Who is BOB?".

Tch, there’s a joke thread for this sort of thing!

 

[DrPhill]

It is important to be specific. It reminds me of a lady who wanted a tattoo of a butterfly on each buttocks cheek. The tattoo artist said he was rubbish at doing butterflies and he suggested she have bees instead. Eventually she agreed to that and the guy set to work.
At home that night the lady bent over, dropped her pants and said to her husband "What do you think of that?". Her husband said "Who is BOB?".

Are we going to have rants about jokes in the explanations thread?

 

[DrPhill]

I'd sooner stuff bees up my nose than read that.

Sure, but then you can ignore the thread and not have to read the comments in ther joke thread. At least that is what I am hoping.....

 

[Linus]

You can't beat them you know

 

[niall Y]

Good idea @DrPhill. After all if one of your mates cracks a joke down the pub, you. don't just all laugh and then stare vacantly at your pints ,until the next one comes along - You interact with your colleagues. adding comments or even calling them out if you think it's in bad taste.
Which reminds me of story recounted by a friend . He was down the pub with a work colleague who told the following joke - " How do you circumcise a whale?" to which was added the punch-line " You send down five, skin divers !". When my friend said "That doesn't work" his colleague said " No, I didn't really get it either"

 

[mwinfrance]

Colleague's name was Stu' perchance.

I'd sooner stuff bees up my nose than read that

Cornish tradition..like Morris dancing ?

Funnily enough the episode of Black Mirror ( Hatred Nation ? ) where the bees fly up someones nose is on French TV ( FR2 ) as I'm typing .all 6 episodes in one evening..Eng and Fre soundtracks.Recording all of them.
Spent the day with SWMBO at emergency hospital , blues and twos ..got "the phone call" as they were rushing her there, ( she had a cycle accident this morning, on day one of her holidays ) ..grazes, bruises, and a broken sternum.
She's back home now here, facing 3 weeks at least of inaction, painful breathing / existing and heavy painkillers. lucky.

 

[Kittyhawk]

I'd sooner stuff bees up my nose than read that.

Happened to my No.2 son. He was out on his bike doing his paper round when a bee took a shine to his nostril. I assume it hurt because that was 30 years ago and he still remembers it.

 

[stuart little]

Colleague's name was Stu' perchance.

Cornish tradition..like Morris dancing ?

Funnily enough the episode of Black Mirror ( Hatred Nation ? ) where the bees fly up someones nose is on French TV ( FR2 ) as I'm typing .all 6 episodes in one evening..Eng and Fre soundtracks.Recording all of them.
Spent the day with SWMBO at emergency hospital , blues and twos ..got "the phone call" as they were rushing her there, ( she had a cycle accident this morning, on day one of her holidays ) ..grazes, bruises, and a broken sternum.
She's back home now here, facing 3 weeks at least of inaction, painful breathing / existing and heavy painkillers. lucky.

Nah, they don't make Morrises any more!

 

[stuart little]

Colleague's name was Stu' perchance.

Cornish tradition..like Morris dancing ?

Funnily enough the episode of Black Mirror ( Hatred Nation ? ) where the bees fly up someones nose is on French TV ( FR2 ) as I'm typing .all 6 episodes in one evening..Eng and Fre soundtracks.Recording all of them.
Spent the day with SWMBO at emergency hospital , blues and twos ..got "the phone call" as they were rushing her there, ( she had a cycle accident this morning, on day one of her holidays ) ..grazes, bruises, and a broken sternum.
She's back home now here, facing 3 weeks at least of inaction, painful breathing / existing and heavy painkillers. lucky.

I didn't know Le Tour Femenine had started!! Get well soon!

 

[stuart little]

OK, guys, y'all will be pleased to know that I've given that pillock 'Dunno', his marching orders & not to come back any time soon!

 

[niall Y]

OK, guys, y'all will be pleased to know that I've given that pillock 'Dunno', his marching orders & not to come back any time soon!

Will quite miss 'Dunno' You often asked the question, others would not.
Perhaps you could substitute 'Que?' instead. Except you will need an acute accent on the 'e' which I am unable to make work on my keyboard

 

[mwinfrance]

Will quite miss 'Dunno' You often asked the question, others would not.
Perhaps you could substitute 'Que?' instead. Except you will need an acute accent on the 'e' which I am unable to make work on my keyboard

copy this
¿Qué?
save somewhere in a .txt file
when required..open file, copy text and paste into post.

 

[J-G]

Except you will need an acute accent on the 'e' which I am unable to make work on my keyboard

ALT+0233 on the Numeric keypad - é

simples!

¿ = ALT+0191

 

[niall Y]

¿Qué? .......... Magic!

 

[Phil Pascoe]

https://www.alt-codes.net/

 

[AES]

Then it has to go: "Si! What??"

(If needed: "It seems the owner is called C.K. Watt". "No. I am the owner madam")