Joke Thread 4 (closed).

[Doug B]

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Noel]

Top ten from this year's Fringe:

Olaf Falafel: My desire to spontaneously sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always just a whim away.

Jack Skipper: I failed RE. Couldn’t believe it when I found out. I was like: “Oh Jason Christ!”


Zoë Coombs Marr: My girlfriend told me she’s never seen Hitchcock’s Gaslight. I told her: “Yeah you have … we watched it together.”

Eleanor Morton: How do you know that Edinburgh is the most haunted city in the UK? You measure it with a spirit level.

Amy Mason: I recently read 10% of sheep are gay – turns out there’s nowt so queer as flock.

Raul Kohli: My aunty is Indian, German and a terrible human being. She’s the curry wurst.

Louise Atkinson: I call myself the Yorkshire Shakira; her hips don’t lie, and mine don’t faff about.

Abby Wambaugh: Cabinets: what are they hiding? Tables: are they really furniture – or just more floor on stilts?

Demi Adejuyigbe: I don’t like when a casino says: “House rules.” It got a little boring for me in the last season.

Chris Turner: The Romans invented Vaseline. Or was it Ancient Grease?

 

[selectortone]

Zoë Coombs Marr: My girlfriend told me she’s never seen Hitchcock’s Gaslight. I told her: “Yeah you have … we watched it together.”

 

[dzj]

 

[nickds1]

One of the duller things most Beekeepers seem to do, is that wherever in the world you go, you buy local honey. As if you didn't have enough already.

Last weekend we were in Dublin and enjoyed many long and detailed conversations about beekeeping techniques with our colleagues there.

We bought some honey. The name appealed. I'm not sure why...

 

[Doug B]

 

[Amateur]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Tris]

They missed a classic: Minge Lane, Upton upon Severn

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Reminded me of a chap on the radio years ago he said he lived in Pratt's Bottom, which was bad enough before the village had got much larger and the council had felt the need to split it into Lower Pratt's Bottom and ...

 

[bushwhaker]

Notice: https://www.google.com/search?sca_e...EDHXDVF7YQtKgLegQIDxAB&biw=1280&bih=582&dpr=2

 

[flying haggis]

Reminded me of a chap on the radio years ago he said he lived in Pratt's Bottom, which was bad enough before the village had got much larger and the council had felt the need to split it into Lower Pratt's Bottom and ...

Anyone else remember the news huddlines when june Whitfield coyly asked Roy hudd who was playing the MP for ramsbottom "And, what's it like, Upper Ramsbottom?" The cast corpsed quite a bit at that one line!

 

[Myfordman]

They missed a classic: Minge Lane, Upton upon Severn

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I won't post the wiki link, but Gropec+++ Lane.

 

[Thingybob]

View attachment 185960

Do they keep raising the level of the foot paths there ?

 

[Tris]

Do they keep raising the level of the foot paths there ?

It sank from the flooding

 

[Doug B]

 

[treeturner123]

View attachment 185960

What about Wyre Piddle in Worcestershire built on Piddle Brook!!

Some enterprising person a few years back bottled the water there and sold it as.....

Yes, you've guessed it

Piddle Water!

In the next villages to me, there is also a 'Squitter Brook' which runs into Carrant Brook and thus to the Avon (which as everyone knows means River) just as Bredon means Hill so no Bredon (or Beedon if you're from North Leicestershire) Hill please!

Phil