Joke Thread 4 (closed).

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Jameshow]

Trigger Warning!

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, this is a joke thread, and these are jokes - they're fiction, and don't in any way reflect my life, which has been truly blessed. My wife and I met aged 20 in 1960, married in 1962, parents in 1964. Now aged 85, we're as happy today as we were 64 years ago in 1960. Two wonderful sons and three delightful granddaughters, all making their way in the world. Every day we're still around, is one day less that one of us won't be together. For us, there aren't any 'bad' days - some days are better than others, but every day's a good day while we're still around. I believe we have one life - this one, and we should try to make it a good one.

Here we go then:

My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday. .

My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert!
Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."

My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favourite is The Sexy Librarian, where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.

Being old is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go too.

I now know how it will all end for me, one of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

I met my wife at a single's night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.

I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.

Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.

As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.

I'm triggered not my the jokes but the intro! Lucky you!!

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 184946

Whom be she?

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Whom be she?

Only a cabinet minister in your government.

 

[stuart little]

Only a cabinet minister in your government.

Well then, that explains that then. It's not 'MY' government, 'cos I didn't vote for 'em!

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Unfortunately they're your government whether you voted for them or not. And there's four to one chance you didn't.

 

[Doug B]

 

[stuart little]

Unfortunately they're your government whether you voted for them or not. And there's four to one chance you didn't.

Just another PP attempt at a joke, Phil!

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[MikeJhn]

View attachment 184985

Took me a few seconds to realise it was a wheel trim and the hole was cut to access the valve, photo not that clear, or is it my eye's.

 

[MikeJhn]

After Phil's post above I thought I would post this again, it's so so Worrying, glad I won't be in one of those homes, I will be long gone or 102.

 

[Morag Jones]

After Phil's post above I thought I would post this again, it's so so Worrying, glad I won't be in one of those homes, I will be long gone or 102.

View attachment 184987

Go girls - love it. Hope I'll look that cool when the time comes. And that the wine will be provided, or given in exchange for the carp in my workshop