Joke Thread 4 (closed).
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Doug B
Shy Tot
My favourite line from a best man’s speech I’ve heard was when the best man got up & said “ that’s not the first time today I’ve got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand”
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
The best (worst?) bridegrooms speech I heard - I'll now hand you over to my best man. In fact, I'd like to hand my wife over to my best man - he's been ******* her for the last six months, he's welcome to her. I'm off.
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jaco
Established Member
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Doug B
Shy Tot
Maybe, a "thorough bred"
An English tourist, on holiday in Wales, stopped to talk to a local farmer
Tourist: “That your dog he asks?”
Farmer: “Aye”
Tourist: "Mind if I speak to him?’
Farmer: "Dog don’t talk.”
Tourist: Hey dog, how’s it going?"
Dog: “Doing all right.”
Farmer: (look of shock)
Tourist: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Farmer)
Dog: “Yep.”
Tourist: How’s he treating you?"
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play.”
Farmer: (Look of total disbelief!)
Tourist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Farmer: "Horse don’t talk.”
Tourist: “Hey horse how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Farmer: (Extreme look of shock!)
Tourist: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: “Yep.”
Tourist: “How’s he treating you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather.”
Farmer: (Look of total amazement!)
Tourist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?
Farmer: " Don't listen to that sheep’s it's a f******g liar!!”
Tourist: “That your dog he asks?”
Farmer: “Aye”
Tourist: "Mind if I speak to him?’
Farmer: "Dog don’t talk.”
Tourist: Hey dog, how’s it going?"
Dog: “Doing all right.”
Farmer: (look of shock)
Tourist: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Farmer)
Dog: “Yep.”
Tourist: How’s he treating you?"
Dog: “Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play.”
Farmer: (Look of total disbelief!)
Tourist: “Mind if I talk to your horse?”
Farmer: "Horse don’t talk.”
Tourist: “Hey horse how’s it going?”
Horse: “Cool.”
Farmer: (Extreme look of shock!)
Tourist: “Is this your owner?” (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: “Yep.”
Tourist: “How’s he treating you?”
Horse: “Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather.”
Farmer: (Look of total amazement!)
Tourist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?
Farmer: " Don't listen to that sheep’s it's a f******g liar!!”
Last edited:
Doug B
Shy Tot
Jaco
Established Member
Yorkieguy
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Yorkieguy
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Yorkieguy
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Yorkieguy
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