Any Driving Instructors here? Best tips?

[MrDavidRoberts]

might be an odd question,however my mother isn't that good at driving ( she got her license a looong time ago and it was basically given to her without any training/requirement at all) , in the past years she has barely driven, now she has re-started to drive and does a short set route every day where she just drives with very little traffic and parks in an open carpark where there are barely any cars so she can just park in whatever way...
However she is always complaining to me that its so hard for her to drive as the car Sucks and she can't see anything,the roads suck etc..well basically everything sucks and that is the reason she isn't able to drive properly.


The car she has got is a Honda jazz ( Most probably the easiest ever car to drive and with probably the best visibility out of all cars there is) , she has got a plan now to purchase a new car with all the parking sensors/cameras there are so they will make her a better driver+ a brand new car will probably be easier to drive just because its brand new.. .. erm... I have taken a few trips with her recently to see the ''faults'' with the car, and have came to the conclusion that she just isn't confident in driving and just hasn't got the experience ,knowledge in parking and that she should get some practice specially in parking.
I have basically told her that & that she really should just visit an actual driving school to properly re-learn everything and get some more practice -well my suggestion wasn't taken very kindly and there's no way I can get her to actually do that, However... I got her To agree that I will be her Driving instructor and that we will go out and practice for 20hours in different situations before she blows 15k on a new car.


- What would be your best tips to try to teach someone in situation like this?
- Would additional learner mirrors be a good idea for more visibility? and which ones are decent? I saw some on ebay/amazon however from the reviews they seemed awful quality, so was looking for a suggestion for some good quality useful ones.
-I think I will purchase some small parking cones so we can create different parking bays to learn how to park instead of doing it in real parking lot biggrin - would that be a decent idea?
-what else?

 

[Phil Pascoe]

What would be your best tips to try to teach someone in situation like this?

Get someone qualified to do it.

 

[Tasky]

How old and how bad is she, really?

If she's THAT bad, you probably don't want to take responsibility for her out on the road. Might be better having a kind word with the Police and getting them to have a similarly kind word with her, with an order to go get proper lessons... ?
I do mean kind word, not grassing her up, by the way!

Thing is, the roads, the rules, the traffic volumes and just the general driving culture will have changed since she did her test anyway and driving is a perishable skill that you have to keep up, just like staying fit - Use it or lose it.

Even the quiet route she drives on can have different traffic situations each time and if she's not good enough, she is a *serious* danger to other people.
As my bike instructor said, "When you take to the road, you also take into your hands the lives of yourself, your passengers and all those road users around you".

I have more, but that might scare her off rather than motivate her.


If it has to be you, brush up yourself on what the current driving test entails and put her through that.
L-Plates might be a very good idea, untill she gets good enough, especially if something does happen.
Mirrors, yes - You need to see what she is/isn't seeing.
Cones - Nah, just find a rank of empty bays somewhere. Our lot here use Morrisons. If she can park well within the bay in an empty rank, she'll probably find parking with a car either side even easier.

A lot depends on how bad she is and how good a teacher you are.

 

[NickN]

-I think I will purchase some small parking cones so we can create different parking bays to learn how to park instead of doing it in real parking lot biggrin - would that be a decent idea?

That is an excellent idea - it's what my instructor did when training me for the B+E (trailer) test, and it really relieves the stress and pressure as any mistakes aren't going to do anything worse than squish a cone slightly. Nobody learns particularly well when under too much pressure and feeling too nervous, so anything you can do do make it more a relaxing environment, the better.

 

[sunnybob]

Its never good to try to teach relations or friends. a teacher needs authority, your mother will just dismiss any thing you say that she doesnt like to hear.

 

[Rorschach]

Get a proper teacher. Most will give refresher lessons, my sister did that as it was a long time between passing her test and getting her own car. Helped her a lot.

 

[Garno]

I passed my test driving a 4 tunner (HGV) whilst in the army.

Got to say not many people failed, in fact it would of been very difficult to fail.
My instructor gave me a great piece of advice. He said "The easiest way to fail is to run someone over, if you do run someone over pretend not to notice and carry on driving unless the examiner tells you to stop"

 

[Bod]

Contact your local Road Safety Office. Ask if they have an older drivers assessment scheme.
Ours did. Father in Laws driving was giving concern(!!) so a driving assessment was arranged, in his car, over roads he knew.
Advised to stop driving, due to confusion.
All done with great tact, and was accepted. (get rid of the car quickly)

Bod

 

[Glynne]

How old and how bad is she, really?

For me that nailed it one.
No one likes to speak badly of the dead but I'm going to do that about my Mum whose 1st anniversary is in 2 days time.
Loved her to bits but to say she could start a fight in an empty room was an understatement and when it came to driving......
She lost her licence for a while after an optician reported her to the DVLA due to her lack of perhiperhal vision - but after a protracted assault, they conceded and she got her licence back.
I'm no expert, but my job (with a company car) required me to have a days defensive driver training every year and so I've had some up to date training.
I think you have to take as much of an objective decision as you can, and it's hard if it's your Mum. Irrespective of whether it is hard for her, the car is bad, the road is bad etc the fact that she says she can't see things should start the alarm bells ringing. If your Mum accidentally hits anyone, especially a child, then I would go out on a limb and say that not only is your Mum culpable then so are you.
With my Mum we suggested an independent assessment - NO!. We suggested refresher training - NO! So my sister and I, and all if the grandkids (grown up) refused to get in a car with her - ever. So family parties she would volunteer to drive and we would get a taxi. Caused no end of grief but better that than someone dying. We added in the cost of motoring and the limited mileage she would do and demonstrated that a taxi would be cheaper and in the end she conceded (but moaned) and sold the car. Never got a taxi, just used her bus pass everywhere!
Hopefully it won't come to that with your Mum, but if we all live long enough then the time will come for all us so it may have to happen sometime if your Mum doesn't volunteer to retire from driving.
Lots of good advice here on the forum, but I think you need to do something sooner rather than later.

 

[Lons]

How old and how bad is she, really?

For me that nailed it one.
No one likes to speak badly of the dead but I'm going to do that about my Mum whose 1st anniversary is in 2 days time.
Loved her to bits but to say she could start a fight in an empty room was an understatement and when it came to driving......
She lost her licence for a while after an optician reported her to the DVLA due to her lack of perhiperhal vision - but after a protracted assault, they conceded and she got her licence back.
I'm no expert, but my job (with a company car) required me to have a days defensive driver training every year and so I've had some up to date training.
I think you have to take as much of an objective decision as you can, and it's hard if it's your Mum. Irrespective of whether it is hard for her, the car is bad, the road is bad etc the fact that she says she can't see things should start the alarm bells ringing. If your Mum accidentally hits anyone, especially a child, then I would go out on a limb and say that not only is your Mum culpable then so are you.
With my Mum we suggested an independent assessment - NO!. We suggested refresher training - NO! So my sister and I, and all if the grandkids (grown up) refused to get in a car with her - ever. So family parties she would volunteer to drive and we would get a taxi. Caused no end of grief but better that than someone dying. We added in the cost of motoring and the limited mileage she would do and demonstrated that a taxi would be cheaper and in the end she conceded (but moaned) and sold the car. Never got a taxi, just used her bus pass everywhere!
Hopefully it won't come to that with your Mum, but if we all live long enough then the time will come for all us so it may have to happen sometime if your Mum doesn't volunteer to retire from driving.
Lots of good advice here on the forum, but I think you need to do something sooner rather than later.

That brings back so many memories!

My father in law had the early stages of dementure and shouldn't have been on the roads, his doctor knew and despite being a designated doctor sanctioned by the DVLA for assessment action he did nothing.
I had a word with a couple of my DI mates who said the police wouldn't get involved unless he had an accident and eventually after some very close calls I rang the DVLA who then sent him a "standard" declaration form to fill in and return, a bit different to the online self declaration on which he conveniently ticked boxes he shouldn't have. With that he was asked to have a proper doctor assessment and agree that his medical records be accessed so he was advised to give up his licence. We felt really bad having done that and he never knew it wasn't a random check as the DVLA are very tactful in that respect.

Prior to that we had also banned our kids from being in a car with him and insisted we drive every time, he didn't like it and neither would I but lives are potentially at stake!

10 years on my MIL who is 90 and had said she would have no problems giving up, flatly refused to. She was a bloody awful driver, also had a Honda Jazz and the thing was dented on every panel, she even drove through her closed garage door! Took a lot of persuasion but eventually we won bought her a new mobility scooter and sold the car. OK we have to be a taxi regularly as she lives 20 miles away but that's better than the guilt we would have if she killed herself or worse, a child!

Keep death off the roads, if she won't accept assessment and training then she needs to give up the car before she hurts herself or someone else. imo

As an aside, my next door DI mate had a similar problem with his father who just a few months ago drove the wrong way around a roundabout, luckily didn't hit anyone as they took avoiding action but he was being followed by a traffic cop who had a gentle word and escorted him home for safety. He was so shocked he handed the keys over to his son and cancelled his licence.

 

[lurker]

Coincidentally there were two separate reports in the paper yesterday aboutn old persons killing people with their cars. One 87 year old chap is looking at a 14 year jail sentence

 

[Rorschach]

It's a comforting thought that by the time I will be too old to drive safely, self driving cars will have been the norm for a long time. It wouldn't surprise me if kids born in the last few years never actually need to worry about a driving license.

 

[bugbear]

well my suggestion wasn't taken very kindly and there's no way I can get her to actually do that,...

It's really annoying when well informed advice is totally ignored, don't you find?

BugBear

 

[Lons]

well my suggestion wasn't taken very kindly and there's no way I can get her to actually do that,...

It's really annoying when well informed advice is totally ignored, don't you find?

BugBear

:lol: :lol: