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Two sheep chatting. "Have you noticed that the Ewe and Ram at shed number two have a gay offspring?" "Yes I heard that, but I think he's just a little mixedtup."

When its a good idea to keep your thoughts to yourself. Went to Jewsons yesterday. Two fat travellers at the counter buying a pick axe head, handle and two rakes. I enquired if they were setting up a burial business. I've never run out of a place as fast in my life.

Its a poor do when half of Scotland are bewildered at the thought of the Badenoch whiskey distillery being in charge of the Tory party.

When a farmer puts out a warning sign in Great Orton this evening.

Sometimes women just take advantage if you just happen to forget to lock your workshop up!

I used to drink a bottle of malt a day,two bottles of Crystal champagne and snack on Royal Beluga caviar. But they stopped my winter fuel payment and I had to stop the cuban cigars. Lifes bloody tough at the moment for us pensioners.

Adverts from the past that would be banned today.

Ai 46 as a pronlem toray Thankufor brining it up

It will stop. After they've discussed Philip Schofield the full Israeli attack and Gary Linekers BBC salary. What they dont know is that Amateur was a prototype for AI and 99% of these posts are now answered by AI. In theory a lot of old men rambling on to themselves and being pacified while...

I've always been unlucky unlucky.

Its not all doom and gloom. At least you're getting enough dosh to buy an iphone.