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Ye Gods, what a foul, gloomy day. I know we need rain, but... Forced to stay indoors waiting for some courier-or-other, I didn't want to start doing anything in the cellar or shed in case I missed him. (Y'know - he has an 8 hour span in which to deliver, but picks the exact moment that you visit...

Florishes...like it! Am I right in thinking that it's one area where the Trades Description Act doesn't apply?

Can you give me a lift if you do?! That's 16" x 1.5" give-or-take! By 9-odd feet long!

Thank you, Stuart!

Reminds me of that "One Foot In The Grave" episode when Angus Deayton gets a champagne cork wedged, when he minces and winces up the road carrying a pastel-coloured umbrella. Can't remember the plot exactly, but it convinces Victor that it's Deayton's gay twin brother....

"Ahoy, m'hearty!" cried my mate, Pirate Pete. "I'm not as cheery as normal, me old..." I asked him what the problem was. "Well, when I worr sailin' around the Main all those years ago, I met Billy Boy, a beauty of a parrot. Never saw a more pretty bird. 'E worr clever,an' all! 'E became moi...

My new neighbour's a right show-off and braggart. He claims he can lift 4 full trash bins with one hand! I think that's a load of rubbish....

I'll get Stuart to explain it to you, Daniel2.... :rolleyes:

My GP just told me I was suffering from paranoia. He didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking.

Chatting to a pal of mine, he moaned about the "snowflakes" amongst us who were already panicking about the winter fuel bills and not being to heat and eat. I argued that there was reason to be fearful, what with the threat of a million people striking, and what did he think folk should do if it...

My late father always used to say, "Leave em' wanting more!" Great for his hobby in amateur dramatics. Not great for his proper job and probably the reason he got the sack as an anaesthetist.* * After I typed this, the auto-correct thing on this forum tried to tell me that it was the wrong...

Being an enthusiastic member of our local cricket team, I attend their practice sessions a couple of nights a week, and usually get picked for the Saturday and Sunday matches. Nothing grand, just one village/town outfit versus another, and then off for a couple of pints. My better half threw a...

Lived out in the US for a while, and started dating a would-be astronaut. Meeting up now and then was tricky because of all her training, but although I was very keen, we finally decided to break up because she wanted her own space....

Nice! (Well...when you finish it!) Round my neck of the woods, you'd be lucky to find anything wider than 6" in a DIY store!

Watching a Glastonbury video the other day, I wondered why one of the biggest bands in the world, ABBA, had never gigged there. Apparently it's all down to Agnetha refusing to go after a traumatic experience there. She'd gone -just as a visitor - in the late 70s but had unfortunately got stuck...

Just watched Rex Krueger's video on building an "English Joiner's Bench"... Nice job, but had to smile at the end, when he claimed that he costed it at about US$ 100 to complete, with timber bought at a "big box" store! Granted the video is from 2020, but can imagine walking into...

Hear about the Irish gang who kidnapped Paddy O'Brien's daughter, and then sent her back home with the ransom note? Her mum and dad sent her back with the money....

Didn't I read somewhere that the 'plastic' sheathing on cables is made with a certain amount of soya these days?

You're right, Roy - and I did! Removed the cluster back panel, and checked it. Spotted a trace had lifted, checked both ends for continuity - nope. Nothing. I bought one of those repair kits - ostensibly to fix broken rear screen demisters - and "painted" over the trace. Dried overnight, and the...

Funnily enough, I tried to buy one of those rubber garden waste bins at a local garden centre this very afteroon, and left without one for that very reason!