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Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources officer asked a young engineer fresh out of the Institute of Technology, “and what starting salary are you looking for?” “Somewhere In the region of £125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer taps his pencil on...

...and for Stuart, a TV stands for "television", around since the 1920's.... It's that thing in the corner of the room that you don't watch....

Well, God's sense of humour has struck again. The aforementioned Vaillant Eco pro 28 boiler failed yesterday morning. Looks like PCB or fan according to our plumber. LED display shows for a few seconds and then off. No heat or water until Tuesday. Oh joy.

And just when you thought it was all over, I've had a text message from Yorkshire Water this morning... "We are aware of your external issue but are experiencing high volumes of work and we will attend when we can." They finished it and left yesterday....

Well, they've gone. The sludge pump. The traffic lights. The road's clear. They actually turned up with a digger this morning, to scrape all the richards/toilet paper/God knows what else off the land. Just walked by with the dog - he's VERY interested! - to see that the solution this time is to...

"Good Morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to day 2 of your flight crew training programme. This morning's procedure will involve something that we all hope will never be required, but needs going through nevertheless. I am talking, of course, about adopting the brace or crash...

Some reaction from the water company at last - an enormous sludge-pump-type-vehicle-thing turned up yesterday morning, sat there for a couple of hours before the traffic light brigade turned up. Work actually started - understandably on the road problem rather than the first-reported site -...

Lots of aggro ahead regarding the Scots and their "trans" plans. Why are there so many trans in Scotland? Is it something to do with kilts?

Get thee hence, Satan! By the way, if you want to join Yorkshire Water's "I-Spy the Drain Cover type" game when you report a leak, this is their helpful photo montage. Yes, you might get covered in ....er.....water whilst trying to "assist" them, but no matter... :giggle:

Handy to know - cheers! Actually about to summon the plumber for a boiler service anyway, so no doubt he'll investigate and advise accordingly. It's cost us a few bob over the years - five years old now? - but was a bit surprised at the outset when a "good named" outfit (Vaillant) only comes...

So, a Mr.Little - no relation - wakes up in the hospital. "What on earth happened? Why am I here?!" he asks the doctor "You've been in a terrible car accident. You're going to live but I'm afraid there is some bad news. You lost your ***** in the crash. However, the good news is that there is...

Yes...apparently it only needs a "cup full" to escape from minimum level and the F22 kicks in, so as you say, turn a couple of taps and Bob's yer uncle. Have searched for a leak for a long time, but never managed to find one! It's such a regular event I've even marked the expected date on the...

....they mean well, I suppose. Automated response. They didn't turn up at all, needless to say, but I guess the reply ticks a box on somebody's spreadsheet somewhere. This morning's rush hour traffic has spread it around nicely, so everybody gets a share!

Back to the sewage story again.... Just back from a dog walk, and guess what's happening at the mini roundabout over the road from the leak? Yes, it's backed up even further! We've now numerous assorted richards and toilet paper gathering around the island. Lots of waste water, flowing down the...

Well, just to add a bit more confusion/misery, my boiler delivered an F22 error this morning, the second time in 8 days. I'm used to it every fortnight or so, so that was a surprise as well!

Today's epistle is a sort-of follow up to my recent post "****ed Off". It doesn't directly concern any of the earlier mentioned events, but is a continuation of sorts, dealing with today's "attitudes". On Friday, we had a sewer burst just along the road from us. We've seen it before, and as my...

Many thanks, graduate_owner. Fantastic, detailed info. That must've taken a while to type! Cheers...

What annoyed me about my catalogue of complaints was that often you have no control of circumstances. The roofers, for example - they're a well-respected and far from cheap company, and our choice...but they farmed out the guttering job to their choice of third party. Likewise, the scaffolding...

Huh! A few years ago my favourite not-so-local pub shut down for a refurb, and turned from a great olde-worlde job into a modern, soul-less mess of a place. And what else did they do? They trashed the brass foot rail that ran right around the bar. That had been really, really comfortable! On...

Wife, at the Sunday breakfast table. She's playing thoughtfully with her breakfast cereal, and gazing occasionally at her lower legs, stretching out from under her silk dressing gown. "Not bad", she thinks. Could do with a bit more of a tan, but still shapely. "Chris..", she purrs. "Mmmmmm?"...