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...or my particular favourite... "My God! Watch out!", he ejaculated. as opposed to "My God! Watch out!". He ejaculated.

Well, that was posted by "Amateur" by the looks of it, not me. I'm not sure what you're actually asking...

I also owned a old Volvo 340 at one time....my God, that was almost not a car, if you see what I mean. There was always something weird about it, although it managed to get through a few MOTs in my care. Someone once commented that it had got the wrong size tyres on it - maybe right, I can't...

I "helped" a pal out by buying his automatic Granada Ghia estate from him when he was being chased for cash by some types... I think £140 changed hands. It was a similar colour to your Peugeot, but called Antique Gold or somesuch...it had a very strange finish, like vinyl silk as opposed to...

Strange, when the Jokes Thread occasionally veers off-course, how the same folk always chime up, complaining about the lack of amusement. Are these the same folk who seem never to actually contribute jokes themselves? The same folk who moan about the quality, or the fact that they heard it X...

Bridge City Tool Works Honing Guide. Almost 180 quid!! I've owned cheaper cars!

Annoying, isn't it? Basic grammar, you'd have thought. My grandson showed me two of his school test results recently, and each teacher had made the same error writing their review of the boy's achievements. I suspect that the mistake results from the spoken word - using "would've" as opposed to...

3.....2.....1 Good Morning, Stuart!

Right then, Stuart.... It's like this... A really, really big balloon with lots of electronic equipment slung off it has been floating across America, and....

That struck me as well. Very curious logic. Something else too...when it was first reported here, the balloon was above Montana. The reason they didn't shoot it down then was said to prevent people being hurt on the ground. Montana has "6.86 people for every square mile of land". For contrast...

Part 2 of Tea v. Coffee v. Wife, and similar exasperations... "Kate! Have you seen my bradawl?" "What's it look like?" I describe it perfectly. "Is this it?" "No...that's something completely different. Does it really look anything like what I described to you?" "Well, I don't know, do I?" The...

Ey up! Stuart's actually cracked a joke out! Good 'un, Stu! (y)

Didn't know that one! Cheers!

Well, in 1930s Rushden, Northamptonshire, it was a "two day sore ar5e"!

When my old man was a youngster, he and two of his four brothers spent a couple of hours making "the best go cart ever", and took it to a local hillside for the afternoon. Unfortunately they'd decided to strip a brand new pram - bought for their newly-arrived brother number four - to make it...

I got away from it! I've no desire for the little blue pills! Summer 1991, too hot, and we both decided that we couldn't be bothered any more! And haven't since... (I was going to type "couldn't be ar5ed", but then realised it could confuse this issue on here!) :giggle:

I suspect you're spot on. I had a blood test in November, and I got a phone call literally the following day. That in itself was unusual - you can normally wait for the famous "about two weeks" - and then I heard the receptionist say that the "results had abnormalities" which had caused enough...

Went for an annual diabetes blood-test check yesterday, including a "foot check". ("Can you feel this?" "Yes.." check over!) Because I'm "on the edge" diabetes-wise, I'd given permission for them to check my lifestyle, such as it is. I'd been warned that this discussion/questionnaire would...

A conversation "with" my wife an hour-or-so ago...she emerged from the kitchen to interrupt the TV football... "Would you like a drink?" "Please..." "Tea or coffee...?" "Coffee for me, please..." A few seconds silence. "You can have tea if you like..." "No, coffee's fine, ta..." "Would you...

I see that Wrigley's have now got a website where you can order chewing gum. Go to Ebuygum.com