# Ridiculous things you believed as a child...



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

I'll start with mine. 

* anyone jumping through the air cannot be shot - it's impossible *

..I was in about first grade or so when the A-team came about. For folks in the UK who don't know what that show is, it was an absurd 1-hour format show where four guys who are wrongly accused military escapees run around the country in a black van saving people who are being wronged. At the end of each show, they have to move on because the military police are closing in on them, and so the loop never ends. 

It was also filled with things like tanks, converted diggers with rocket launchers and gobs of guys shooting machine guns. 

The show was in prime time, and i don't remember the exact route to the guns, but the censors told them no killing or no blood or something (thinking they wouldn't be able to use guns). Instead, they decided nobody would ever get shot - thousands of rounds, none ever hitting anyone. 

Also combined with the gun battle machines was guys jumping for their lives (it seems like they were always jumping over barrels). In elementary school, we interpreted this to mean that it was almost impossible to hit someone who was jumping, and guys running fast probably not, too. So when we played battles at recess in school, anyone who was jumping could not be shot. Which led to many of us doing a combination of running and jumping everywhere (both at the same time) declaring "you didn't get me, I was jumping!!". 

This scene has less jumping, but I think they may have gotten 1000 rounds in this scene.



(Also, notice the guy in a steel drum is protected not only from all manner of bullets, but he's unhurt when a large cadillac hits the barrel at high speed),


----------



## Cabinetman (11 Jan 2021)

Hi DW, oh yes we had them the black guy with all the chains the loony helicopter pilot and the cigarsmoking head honcho plus one other who I don’t actually remember.
God knows where it came from, but I thought I could walk on the tops of hedges, never tried it thank goodness!


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

While yours may not have come from the A-team, it certainly has the same flavor. Physical impossibility!
I can't remember the names of the actual guys on the show other than Mr. T and George Peppard, but remember the other guys were face and murdock. For the longest time as a kid, I thought face was George Hamilton and Murdock was the guy who did the Ernest movies.


----------



## artie (11 Jan 2021)

D_W said:


> I'll start with mine.
> 
> * anyone jumping through the air cannot be shot - it's impossible *
> 
> ...




We had the A Team in the UK.
Thousands of rounds fired each week and nobody ever got hit.
I believed that Americans didn't put sights on their guns.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

I used to yell at the screen .."STOP AND AIM!!"

I recall hearing once years ago that the Japanese or the Germans or both were shocked that just about every american thrown into war knew how to shoot. While we're probably above average now, there's plenty here in the urban and suburban areas who have never seen a gun in person other than police carrying them, let alone shot one.


----------



## TRITON (11 Jan 2021)

God.

Not a single dinosaur reference in it anywhere.


----------



## Ollie78 (11 Jan 2021)

Thanks for reminding me about the A team. 
I used to watch it with my grandad and eat marmite on toast. Such a specific memory.

Ollie


----------



## NikNak (11 Jan 2021)

Not only as a child.... my missus (70 now) used to believe it was impossible for horses to run with all 4 feet off the ground at the same time... "its not possible, they'll fall over..." i then got her to watch some horse racing and athletes back in slow-mo. Voila... case closed


----------



## thetyreman (11 Jan 2021)

I genuinely believed for a long time that if I accidentally ate a seed it'd grow into a tree inside my body until I was about 12 and I'd die lol I think that was one of my uncles wind ups when he was drunk at a wedding.


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

I have to admit I thought quicksand would have played a greater role in my life than it has.


----------



## Spectric (11 Jan 2021)

artie said:


> Thousands of rounds fired each week and nobody ever got hit.


I had worked that one out, they only loaded training blanks.


----------



## billw (11 Jan 2021)

80s TV - A Team, Airwolf, Knight Rider, ALF

I love Family Guy and American Dad but find South Park about as funny as nailing my privates to a crocodile. Simpsons is a bit stale now.


----------



## Phil Pascoe (11 Jan 2021)

NikNak said:


> Not only as a child.... my missus (70 now) used to believe it was impossible for horses to run with all 4 feet off the ground at the same time... "its not possible, they'll fall over..." i then got her to watch some horse racing and athletes back in slow-mo. Voila... case closed


She didn't wonder how they got over fences, then?


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

Bm101 said:


> I have to admit I thought quicksand would have played a greater role in my life than it has.



You weren't the only one. We generally went around areas we didn't know tapping the surface with our feet. That was a big terminal thing on TV back then (stepping into quicksand - "nobody has ever survived!!!")


----------



## Doug B (11 Jan 2021)

I used to believe scone was pronounced scone until I learned it was in fact pronounced scone


----------



## billw (11 Jan 2021)

Never understood the scone v scone argument, since neither of them is right and it's pronounced scone.


----------



## gregmcateer (11 Jan 2021)

The A Team!! Those were the days.

"A swan can break your arm with one swipe of its wing". 

Probably true, I guess, but I know of NO-ONE EVER who's even had a slight injury from a swan. BUT maybe that is because everyone listened to the advice...

Oh, and "A cat will ALWAYS land on its feet" 

I'm ashamed to say that we did conduct experiments on our particularly agile cat. In fairness, she almost always DID manage, but not ALWAYS. 

In our defence, we were kids; encouraged to experiment and learn; too many to parent strictly; and the cat fail only occurred at very low level - i.e. too close to the surface to spin round onto her feet, (but not too close to stop her whipping round and scratching us for being little t'''s - What a great cat!)


----------



## gregmcateer (11 Jan 2021)

billw said:


> Never understood the scone v scone argument, since neither of them is right and it's pronounced scone.



STONE me, ONE cannot bring up that debate, unless you've GONE crazy!


----------



## Garno (11 Jan 2021)

As a child I believed I would never become a babe magnet, wow was I wrong about that one.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

thetyreman said:


> I genuinely believed for a long time that if I accidentally ate a seed it'd grow into a tree inside my body until I was about 12 and I'd die lol I think that was one of my uncles wind ups when he was drunk at a wedding.



This was widely told to kids who ate fruit seeds and wouldn't stop. I got a long-winded story from an aunt once about a kid with watermelon vines growing out of his ears, and was forced to be extra diligent about finding all of the watermelon seeds. Really slowed down my consumption.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

NikNak said:


> Not only as a child.... my missus (70 now) used to believe it was impossible for horses to run with all 4 feet off the ground at the same time... "its not possible, they'll fall over..." i then got her to watch some horse racing and athletes back in slow-mo. Voila... case closed



Same on the horse comment (despite movie posters and such showing stills with horses in full stride with all feet off of the ground). Horses weren't the only thing, though - we were told by some adults that the same rule applied to people. It's fairly hard as a young kid to confirm that you're continuously running with feet off the ground for a large part of the time .....why? What happens if you run and stare at your feet? At some point, you'll trip on something or run into something. 

This occurred at the same time as the sport of speed walking was becoming popular. "why do they need a rule that they have to have feet on the ground? It's impossible to have both feet in the air while walking or running". 

That sport died out pretty quickly here - in less than a decade (walking as fast as you possibly can while intentionally having one foot on the ground at all times to avoid disqualification - looks painful. The faster someone goes, the dumber it looks, and there was at least one time that I can recall seeing a televised speed walking event with prize money. it's almost worth finding a video - it made people look like awkward ducks and when you laughed at people at our local rec park or pointed, they got really pineappled).


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

I've literally never heard anyone say "pineappled" in the united states. I had too much coffee earlier today, so I'm going to "take a pineapple".


----------



## Droogs (11 Jan 2021)

Garno said:


> As a child I believed I would never become a babe magnet, wow was I wrong about that one.


such a pity you all have the same polarity


----------



## custard (11 Jan 2021)

At school it was a known fact that if you got a paper cut in the web of skin between thumb and fore-finger, then you'd develop lock-jaw and die. This was hard science.


----------



## Lonsdale73 (11 Jan 2021)

Whenever my mum wanted me to do something - tidy my bedroom, go to the shops; dull stuuf! - she had this expression that never failed to get me to do her bidding. It was "You do this for me and you'll not see what I'll get you." And she was always right. I was well into my twenties before the coin dropped. Something else she had me believing for years was that robins (the red-breasted bird) were only seen in the UK at Xmas. I think that must have been something she was told as a child because she was genuinely surprised to learn they're here all year round.

Re: bullets. Often puzzles me how residents of a country who passionately defend the right to bear arms, how we're led to believe they can strip down and reassemble firearms afore they can walk and have shooting practice daily can be such awful shots, even when they have the latest, most sophisticated weaponery at their disposal? Or, how they can empty an entire belt of bullets from a machine gun from near point blank range into the baddies chest but still not kill them?


----------



## PerryGunn (11 Jan 2021)

gregmcateer said:


> Oh, and "A cat will ALWAYS land on its feet"


Ah, the basic premise of the only practical perpetual motion device

Posit...
1. When a cat is dropped it always lands on its feet
2. When buttered toast is dropped it always lands butter side down 

Therefore...
If a buttered slice of toast is strapped butter side up to a cat's back. When the cat is dropped, it will hover, continually spinning, a few inches off the ground

Science, innit! <sniff>


----------



## TRITON (11 Jan 2021)

Doug B said:


> I used to believe scone was pronounced scone until I learned it was in fact pronounced scone



There was a reference to this somewhere. I looked but it's scone.

I'll get me coat...


----------



## Fidget (11 Jan 2021)

Don't swallow your chewing gum. It will get wrapped around your heart and you WILL DIE!


----------



## doctor Bob (11 Jan 2021)

I was about 25 when I suddenly realised, that whilst doing "bob a job", as a cub scout aged 8 or 9, the bloke who answered the door with his knob hanging out probably had not done it by accident.
As a kid and from that point on, until the light bulb moment, I genuinely thought he had just forgotten to put it away.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

Fidget said:


> Don't swallow your chewing gum. It will get wrapped around your heart and you WILL DIE!



Nice (it will form a ball and takes 7 years to digest and will eventually kill you by preventing pooping - that was the rumor here. This wasn't helped by the fact that teachers were the ones alternately threatening suspended recess if you were caught chewing gum and then threatening that if you had just swallowed it to get out of missing recess... "did you know that it will last seven years in your stomach and form a ball with other gum that you chew. Think about that. ..7 years!!!")

The choice between kickball and a slow agonizing death and no kickball at recess was really not an easy one to make.


----------



## gwaithcoed (11 Jan 2021)

As a kid I believed that souls of the dead were ascending heaven through shafts of sunlight
Alan


----------



## Phil Pascoe (11 Jan 2021)

gregmcateer said:


> The A Team!! Those were the days.
> 
> "A swan can break your arm with one swipe of its wing".
> 
> ...


You didn't try taping a piece a piece of buttered toast to its back?


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

doctor Bob said:


> I was about 25 when I suddenly realised, that whilst doing "bob a job", as a cub scout aged 8 or 9, the bloke who answered the door with his knob hanging out probably had not done it by accident.
> As a kid and from that point on, until the light bulb moment, I genuinely thought he had just forgotten to put it away.


That's nothing Bob. There was a bloke on my estate who had an cow that had Heliophobia (fear of sunlight). Because of this he had to keep it in a shed in the pitch black at the bottom of his garden. Sometimes he would pay the local kids 50p to milk it. There used to be queue all the way down the street.


----------



## Woody2Shoes (11 Jan 2021)

Both our children were told when tots that telling a lie makes your tongue go blue. It worked for a surprisingly long time....


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

The cat thing is actually beacause they are just about as big as you can get mass wise before gravity as we experience it kicks in. Obviously there's other factors involved like innate feline agility and reflexes etc but cats don't generally fall under the same gravitational restrictions of any bigger animal like dogs. Thats why cats can fall far longer distances and survive.
You can test the veracity of this theory by chucking small dogs like Jack Russels off high ledges. They will always definitely land. Just not always on their feet.


----------



## Woody2Shoes (11 Jan 2021)

I remember being told aged 4 by a nun that red wasn't red it was scarlet. All the evidence I needed that such ladies were not trustworthy.


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

Lol Woody.
Told that my face would 'stay that way if the wind changed' I can remember hanging out my brother's window making the worst face possible to test the theory. I was so keen to test the theory I never considered what it might to be like living the rest of my life as a gurning monkey faced eedjit....wait.....


----------



## Phil Pascoe (11 Jan 2021)

Woody2Shoes said:


> Both our children were told when tots that telling a lie makes your tongue go blue. It worked for a surprisingly long time....


It was a pimple on the end for us.


----------



## NickDReed (11 Jan 2021)

When I was little I believed that being an adult would be great..... Got the council tax bill today...and the water bill...and the child maintenance left the account....pipping adulthood

Didn't type pipping.


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

Nobody types *Pipping* Nick. Jeeez!
The key is to get around the swear filter by using Asterisks and so on.

Like 'F






k it!'
That way only the most switched on Mods will even notice.


----------



## billw (11 Jan 2021)

Surprised nobody's mentioned the tooth fairy because that definitely made complete sense.


----------



## billw (11 Jan 2021)

Oh and just as aside, because of this thread I learned that horses can't vomit. I still can't cut a dovetail but my pub quiz value just keeps going up.


----------



## Bm101 (11 Jan 2021)

Mike I can't believe you edited my post, lmfao, for spelling.


----------



## MikeK (11 Jan 2021)

Bm101 said:


> Mike I can't believe you edited my post, lmfao, for spelling.


I'm a switched on Mod.


----------



## dannyr (11 Jan 2021)

Absolutely ridiculous, I know, but I used, in 2016, as a naive 8 year old, to believe that anyone who took on the job of President of a democratic country would take it seriously and behave in an adult manner (unlike us self-obsessed kids).

Now I'm a grown-up 12, Jan 2021, I realise how mistaken I was.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

dannyr said:


> Absolutely ridiculous, I know, but I used, as an 8-year-old, to believe that anyone who took on the job of President of a democratic country would take it seriously and behave in an adult manner (unlike us self-obsessed kids).
> 
> Now I'm a grown-up 12, I realise how mistaken I was.



So, do you still believe that something has changed re: the past other than curation of the information that leaves political office? I think it's naive of us to believe that a job that takes an enormous amount of self interest to obtain would somehow lead to people who make decisions solely or mostly based on their value to others.


----------



## Cabinetman (11 Jan 2021)

D_W said:


> So, do you still believe that something has changed re: the past other than curation of the information that leaves political office? I think it's naive of us to believe that a job that takes an enormous amount of self interest to obtain would somehow lead to people who make decisions solely or mostly based on their value to others.


 So I think what you’re saying is anybody that actually wants the job should automatically be debarred from it.


----------



## NickDReed (11 Jan 2021)

Cabinetman said:


> So I think what you’re saying is anybody that actually wants the job should automatically be debarred from it.


Been saying it for years


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

Cabinetman said:


> So I think what you’re saying is anybody that actually wants the job should automatically be debarred from it.



That sounds like a trap question. I'm saying that we shouldn't expect a job that requires someone with a big ego, determination and disagreableness (at some level, even if not publicly displayed) to create a strange phase change where said person becomes an ideal. 

But a smart president who is really doing the most for their ego will curate their image and control what's released, that's part of achievement in the job, which feed the ego further. Imagine it as a boxer - which boxer does better, the one who really hates their opponent and blows up and swings wildly, or the one who really hates their opponent and is determined to control their temper to take advantage of the opponent?

We probably don't have the type of boxer who is really concerned about their opponent and the crowd in the middle of the fight, though some will curate that kind of off-screen image. Negativity and fear will drive people further than virtue and contentment in most cases.


----------



## Cabinetman (11 Jan 2021)

Not a trick question I’ve always believed it, politicians – first up against the wall, the rot starts as soon as you start paying them, even right down at Council level in my opinion.


----------



## mikej460 (11 Jan 2021)

D_W said:


> So, do you still believe that something has changed re: the past other than curation of the information that leaves political office? I think it's naive of us to believe that a job that takes an enormous amount of self interest to obtain would somehow lead to people who make decisions solely or mostly based on their value to others.


ah yes I agree with you but there are degrees of self interest that bottom out at pure narcissism.


----------



## Stanleymonkey (11 Jan 2021)

Cakes were healthy

My mum made cakes and she wouldn't give me bad things would she?


----------



## Stanleymonkey (11 Jan 2021)

doctor Bob said:


> I was about 25 when I suddenly realised, that whilst doing "bob a job", as a cub scout aged 8 or 9, the bloke who answered the door with his knob hanging out probably had not done it by accident.
> As a kid and from that point on, until the light bulb moment, I genuinely thought he had just forgotten to put it away.



No clever word play about a Job for Bob, or a little limerick? This forum is going downhill!!


----------



## Fitzroy (11 Jan 2021)

Every mushroom, and most other wild plants, in the wood will kill you if you eat them. 

My wife is Russian and they have a foraging culture for mushrooms. When her mother visited and we were walking in the woods she had handfuls of ceps, chanterelles, and some morels. I made her throw them away and wash her hands thoroughly before we got home. THEY WILL ALL KILL YOU!

Fitz


----------



## Nigel Burden (11 Jan 2021)

I collected some good Ceps and Parasol Mushrooms last Autumn. I'm sure my parents would have doubted their edibility, although we used to gather field mushrooms when I was a child.

They won't all kill you, it's just knowing which ones won't.

Nigel.


----------



## Boringgeoff (11 Jan 2021)

My dad was a farmer, one day we had sheep in the yards and one of them had about three inches of bowel hanging out its clacker. He caught the sheep, picked it up by its hind legs and shook it like a bag of spuds, til the bowel popped back in. After marking the sheep with red raddle for future recognition, he turned to me and said " that's what can happen if you strain on the toilet". I was about nine at the time, now 72, I have never strained on the bog since receiving that sage advice.
Cheers,
Geoff.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

mikej460 said:


> ah yes I agree with you but there are degrees of self interest that bottom out at pure narcissism.



Call me a cynic, but if i'm right, i'll settle for a narcissist who stakes their ego on whether or not they do a good job as President. 

There was an interesting special on PBS here about Reagan, who PBS probably isn't in love with. It was pretty rosy for the first 6 years. I tend to think that Reagans intentions (the assumption that it was important that he do a good job for someone else so that he could feel good about himself) worked for a while. When things didn't match his idealistic view of the world, things went sideways in the last two years. The fact that we have our claws dug in all over the world for economic and policy interests doesn't work that well when you expect nothing to clash with your ideals. 

All I remember about Bush Sr. (I hate to say it, but it's true) was "read my lips..." and him falling under a table in japan. He said to read his lips, and bill clinton constantly bit his bottom lip. I guess we liked the latter better because the lip biting went on twice as long as the lip reading. Really haven't been enamored with a president since Reagan, and tend to think a lot of being enamored was based on his cool movie start assurances and soviet jokes...and the fact that I was 10 in 1986 and had no clue what was going on, anyway. I don't think any politician got people as excited as the results of the next Tyson fight, anyway.


----------



## D_W (11 Jan 2021)

Boringgeoff said:


> My dad was a farmer, one day we had sheep in the yards and one of them had about three inches of bowel hanging out its clacker. He caught the sheep, picked it up by its hind legs and shook it like a bag of spuds, til the bowel popped back in. After marking the sheep with red raddle for future recognition, he turned to me and said " that's what can happen if you strain on the toilet". I was about nine at the time, now 72, I have never strained on the bog since receiving that sage advice.
> Cheers,
> Geoff.



HAH!!!


----------



## manglitter (11 Jan 2021)

Doug B said:


> I used to believe scone was pronounced scone until I learned it was in fact pronounced scone



NOPE!



billw said:


> Never understood the scone v scone argument, since neither of them is right and it's pronounced scone.



Finally someone who talks sense...


----------



## manglitter (11 Jan 2021)

PerryGunn said:


> Ah, the basic premise of the only practical perpetual motion device
> 
> Posit...
> 1. When a cat is dropped it always lands on its feet
> ...



I once saw a theory that expanded on this, went into the stain quotient of the substance attached to the cat, and the type of surface that the cat was dropped upon. 
In summary the guy theorised that trains could be sustainably powered by dropping cats with tikka masala smeared on their backs and feet onto a white wool carpet - that they just stopped and spun endlessly above the carpet...


----------



## doctor Bob (11 Jan 2021)

Boringgeoff said:


> My dad was a farmer, one day we had sheep in the yards and one of them had about three inches of bowel hanging out its clacker. He caught the sheep, picked it up by its hind legs and shook it like a bag of spuds, til the bowel popped back in. After marking the sheep with red raddle for future recognition, he turned to me and said " that's what can happen if you strain on the toilet". I was about nine at the time, now 72, I have never strained on the bog since receiving that sage advice.
> Cheers,
> Geoff.



Old Jim and young Bobby are working on a farm, old Jim is busting, so goes for a s**t, in the woods, for a laugh young Bobby creeps up behind him and dumps some rotten sheep guts under his buttocks and sneaks off.
On Jim's return he's very pale and walking funny, Bob surpressing a giggle asks if everything is Ok. Jim explains how he has s*at his guts out, however with a long stick, a prayer to god and some elbow grease he has managed to poke it back in.


----------



## TheUnicorn (11 Jan 2021)

Fidget said:


> Don't swallow your chewing gum. It will get wrapped around your heart and you WILL DIE!


no, that one's true, it happened to me once

... I got better


----------



## Cabinetman (11 Jan 2021)

Doctor Bob, that was so appalling it made me laugh very much out loud. Ian


----------



## Droogs (12 Jan 2021)

I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults


----------



## JimB (12 Jan 2021)

Droogs said:


> I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults


Reminds me of a friend who admitted that he was in his forties before he realised politicians didn't always tell the truth!


----------



## Just4Fun (12 Jan 2021)

Nigel Burden said:


> They won't all kill you, it's just knowing which ones won't.


Many people here collect all manner of musrooms and berries. I have no clue which mushrooms are edible and which are a bad idea so I never collect them. Last autumn I was walking in a forest with a guy who was delighted to find some large mushrooms that I thought looked absolutely disgusting, but he assured me they were really nice to eat. I tend to play safe on things like that.


----------



## Just4Fun (12 Jan 2021)

manglitter said:


> I once saw a theory that expanded on this, went into the stain quotient of the substance attached to the cat, and the type of surface that the cat was dropped upon.
> In summary the guy theorised that trains could be sustainably powered by dropping cats with tikka masala smeared on their backs and feet onto a white wool carpet - that they just stopped and spun endlessly above the carpet...


Sounds like something from Daedalus. I remember thinking his invention of a frosted glass aquarium for shy fish was hilarious.


----------



## Doug B (12 Jan 2021)

JimB said:


> Reminds me of a friend who admitted that he was in his forties before he realised politicians didn't always tell the truth!


Don’t say that Jim you’ll be telling me next sitting presidents lie


----------



## davedevelopment (12 Jan 2021)

Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.


----------



## Phil Russell (12 Jan 2021)

Warnings from my mother: never eat uncooked cake mix, it will give you worms. Swallow a seed, apple pip etc and it will lodge in your appendix and give you appendicitis. We still loved scraping the mixing bowl though.
Cheers, Phil


----------



## Dee J (12 Jan 2021)

A woodworking one... 
As a small child I observed that some wooden things were held together with nails or screws, but other things had no visible fixings. This led to my hypothesis of the existence of the 'double-ended-nail', pointy at both ends. Never did find any


----------



## eribaMotters (12 Jan 2021)

I won the American Presidential Election.

Colin


----------



## artie (12 Jan 2021)

davedevelopment said:


> Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al


You would have got on well with my Dad.
Jackie Pallo, Mick McManus and Les Kellet were the high point of his week. He would sit there shouting at the TV like a kid at a pantomime.


----------



## billw (12 Jan 2021)

davedevelopment said:


> Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.



Oh the good old days!


----------



## Woody2Shoes (12 Jan 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> It was a pimple on the end for us.


The expressions on their faces when asked "show me your tongue then"...


----------



## Woody2Shoes (12 Jan 2021)

billw said:


> Surprised nobody's mentioned the tooth fairy because that definitely made complete sense.


And father xmas if course...


----------



## TomB (12 Jan 2021)

Up to the age of about 7 I thought the hole at the back of the sink was called the Armitage Shanks.


----------



## pils (12 Jan 2021)

Droogs said:


> I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults


Likewise: That grown ups knew/know what they're talking about.


----------



## MikeJhn (12 Jan 2021)

My mother told me that the wind was caused by the trees waving their arms around.

She also told me that when a car noise paused (gear change) it was taking a breath.


----------



## D_W (12 Jan 2021)

davedevelopment said:


> Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.



My dad clued me in early on that wrestling was arranged and that it was all a show. The guys who were good at being a heel pineappled me off, anyway. Somewhere around age 15, the novelty wore off and I stopped watching, but there was a period of time where they would delay Saturday Night Live here or skip it to put the 
"Saturday Night Main Event" on TV. That just seems odd now (not that many people watch SNL these days, either).

One kid in elementary school believed wrestling was real and would fight about it, and he was also the last kid (by far) on the santa claus train. He was also twice as big as the rest of us, so it was risky to tell him he was a dope.


----------



## Racers (12 Jan 2021)

I remember a kid in junior scool saying thunder was the clouds banging together.

Pete


----------



## Nigel Burden (12 Jan 2021)

Racers said:


> I remember a kid in junior scool saying thunder was the clouds banging together.
> 
> Pete



We were told it was God moving his furniture.

Nigel.


----------



## Cabinetman (12 Jan 2021)

Every day on the way to school on the bus we passed the Rehabilitation day centre, it was years till I realised that it wasn’t an event it was a place, I think it was when I asked my mum when Rehabilitation day was. 
I really was quite green when I was a kid.


----------



## doctor Bob (12 Jan 2021)

One of my mates Dad's disappeared for quite a while.
I got bits and pieces of the story, I couldn't understand why he would be sent on a long holiday for stealing petrol from the company he worked for.


----------



## JimB (13 Jan 2021)

Nigel Burden said:


> We were told it was God moving his furniture.
> Nigel.


Add that snow was Mrs God shaking out her carpets.


----------



## LBCarpentry (13 Jan 2021)

I used to believe that “toon holes” were real for ages. A black circle you stick to the wall and then jump through. I think I asked for one for about 3 Christmas’ in a row!


----------



## LBCarpentry (13 Jan 2021)

davedevelopment said:


> Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.



I still find that snake scene horrifying!


----------



## OldWood (13 Jan 2021)

I do puzzle over the fact that my 10 yr old grandaughter still believes in Santa Claus - her 8 yr sister is a bit more wordly wise and I suspect goes along with it. But then the parents do not give their family presents - every thing comes form Santa Claus. So who is misleading whom? The children cannot admit to knowing it's a myth because, not knowing otherwise, they then won't get any Christmas presents.


----------



## Concizat (13 Jan 2021)

LBCarpentry said:


> I used to believe that “toon holes” were real for ages. A black circle you stick to the wall and then jump through. I think I asked for one for about 3 Christmas’ in a row!


What's a "toon hole"? (I've led a sheltered life  )


----------



## Droogs (13 Jan 2021)

think of a Will E Cyotee portable black disc that when put on a wall becomes a tunnel


----------



## D_W (13 Jan 2021)

LBCarpentry said:


> I still find that snake scene horrifying!



One of the best things on youtube these days is the former wrestlers talking about what went on and when people got hurt for real and when they didn't. As a kid, I thought they'd all figured out how to make things look like they hurt, but that nothing did and they all went home like a sitcom actor and took off any makeup ("fake blood" - of course we all thought it was fake blood, but rather they were just cutting themselves instead).

We thought the snake bite looked really real for a "fake snake bite!!". Apparently, Randy Poffo didn't like snakes, either, but he was nuts about trying to do good booking in every event he was in, even if he personally hated the assignment. He kept notes of all of his matches in different cities to make sure that he never wrestled a similar match or wore the same outfit (if avoidable) at a given location.


----------



## davedevelopment (13 Jan 2021)

D_W said:


> One of the best things on youtube these days is the former wrestlers talking about what went on and when people got hurt for real and when they didn't. As a kid, I thought they'd all figured out how to make things look like they hurt, but that nothing did and they all went home like a sitcom actor and took off any makeup ("fake blood" - of course we all thought it was fake blood, but rather they were just cutting themselves instead).
> 
> We thought the snake bite looked really real for a "fake snake bite!!". Apparently, Randy Poffo didn't like snakes, either, but he was nuts about trying to do good booking in every event he was in, even if he personally hated the assignment. He kept notes of all of his matches in different cities to make sure that he never wrestled a similar match or wore the same outfit (if avoidable) at a given location.



Yes, it wasn't until I read a few of the biographies that I realised how much they punished their bodies etc. Most of them were addicted to painkillers, if not worse.

Some of the full documentaries are really good, I'd recommend the Jake Roberts one.


----------



## Jonm (13 Jan 2021)

My son lost a tooth and said. “There is no such thing as the tooth fairy, it is you who puts the money there”. He left his tooth under the pillow and next morning it had gone and there was a note but no money. The note said “he who does not believe, does not receive”. At least It gave him pause for thought and did not ruin it for his younger sister.


----------



## billw (13 Jan 2021)

davedevelopment said:


> Yes, it wasn't until I read a few of the biographies that I realised how much they punished their bodies etc. Most of them were addicted to painkillers, if not worse.
> 
> Some of the full documentaries are really good, I'd recommend the Jake Roberts one.



The Tommy Billington one is also a great read, tragic, but great.


----------



## HamsterJam (13 Jan 2021)

Not me but sometime into her twenties my sister announced that she disagreed with horse racing ‘as it is a really cruel sport‘. When asked to elaborate, she explained she hated that fact that the horse that comes last gets shot. 
Apparently many years earlier she had seen the winner being paraded around but asked so what happens to the poor horse that comes last? Our mother had flippantly replied “oh - they shoot it”.


----------



## D_W (13 Jan 2021)

billw said:


> The Tommy Billington one is also a great read, tragic, but great.



Would never have guessed how rotten he was until hearing accounts by wrestlers who weren't buddies. Great performer, though, and dedicated to the performing, but a rotten dude - like a grown up school yard bully turned worse. Interesting that after Jacques Rougeau knocked his teeth out with a roll of quarters, his first respond was "good shot, mate" or something along those lines. 

interesting to learn who the actual tough guys were as they often weren't the biggest most steroid bloated of the group.


----------



## D_W (13 Jan 2021)

HamsterJam said:


> Not me but sometime into her twenties my sister announced that she disagreed with horse racing ‘as it is a really cruel sport‘. When asked to elaborate, she explained she hated that fact that the horse that comes last gets shot.
> Apparently many years earlier she had seen the winner being paraded around but asked so what happens to the poor horse that comes last? Our mother had flippantly replied “oh - they shoot it”.



A variation of that was floated here. There were two tracks near where I grew up (Within 45 miles, which in a rural area is more or less 45 minutes) - I never went to one because my sister's friend told us that any horse that gets injured (no matter how minor) is shot on site. As if there's a cart following the horses with a guy and shotgun with slugs just waiting to off a horse. 

There was a huge horse farm near where I grew up that bred race horses, too - Hanover. I thought all of those horses were a misstep from being shot.


----------



## OldWood (14 Jan 2021)

Courtesy of the BBC web page reporting on the cricket in Sri Lanka

" It does. But it also gives us an excuse to eat cake for breakfast which, let's face it, is the dream when you're a kid. "


----------



## Jonm (14 Jan 2021)

Racers said:


> I remember a kid in junior scool saying thunder was the clouds banging together.
> 
> Pete


Part way there, except it is particles within the clouds banging together causing the lightning which causes the thunder.


----------



## Ditch 08 (14 Jan 2021)

Being told "things are good today but will be better tomorrow"


----------



## Concizat (14 Jan 2021)

Droogs said:


> !!
> think of a Will E Cyotee portable black disc that when put on a wall becomes a tunnel


Wow, they could be very handy at times


----------

