# Today’s lesson “NEVER POINT”



## Oraclebhoy (27 Jun 2021)

My good lady walked into my garage today and straight away said “Is that a new tool”
Yes it was and I was caught red handed with it out on display, I knew this day would come so I just said “yes, had it over a month now” 
HAD I stopped at that point all would have been well but no, I had to bloody point to the evolution rage5-s table saw.
She said “I didn’t even see that one, I was on about this one” pointing to my pocket hole jig.
So I had to explain why I suddenly have a table saw and a fancy pocket hole jig….


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## Stanleymonkey (27 Jun 2021)

So close to getting away with it!


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## Jameshow (27 Jun 2021)

Always hide your tools with a layer of junk....

Also if you have bikes then ones which are in pieces don't count so never build up all the frames, groupsets, wheels otherwise she will exclaim how many bikes!!!!! 

Cheers James


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## novocaine (27 Jun 2021)

Jameshow said:


> Always hide your tools with a layer of junk....
> 
> Also if you have bikes then ones which are in pieces don't count so never build up all the frames, groupsets, wheels otherwise she will exclaim how many bikes!!!!!
> 
> Cheers James


Bikes only come in 2 colours. Black and red. Anything else will stand out as different and therefore memorable. 
Hence, I only have 3 bikes. Just because the value of whats locked away in the bike store swings wildly from winter to summer doesn't mean i have more hidden in the loft that get swapped around. Lies i say, all lies.


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## Thingybob (28 Jun 2021)

I got wise many years ago when used to say to my wife new dress then to be replied to with "I have had it for ages and you have seen me in it before " beeing the attentive husband that i am cant say i have or havent seen it before so keep stum , Now if im asked that a new tool then "no what do you think i made the bathroom cabinet with ages ago "


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## Lons (28 Jun 2021)

You just have to make sure that everything is shiny and clean *or* everything is covered in shavings and dust then they can't tell what's new.


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## clogs (28 Jun 2021)

no probs here.....
said I wanted one o these...."1/2" fuel0ne"......this turned up Friday.....came from Germany......


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## AFFF (28 Jun 2021)

My greatest fear is that one day I will die...
And my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them.

Same applies to tools


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## Oraclebhoy (28 Jun 2021)

Lons said:


> You just have to make sure that everything is shiny and clean *or* everything is covered in shavings and dust then they can't tell what's new.


Did that with the tablesaw, it was covered in saw dust and I even plastered it with Star Wars stickers (yes I’m sad) to make it look like my other stuff.
Just forgot about the very clean jig.


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## Daniel2 (28 Jun 2021)

My strategy is to identify an obscure job that needs doing in the house,
but can only be properly achieved with a specific tool.
The good wife then (+/- happily), purchases said tool in the hope that
said job will get done, one day.
I then struggle to get a round tuit.
It's worked remarkably well, so far.

Edit : The added benefit to this strategy is that she also thinks twice, before
asking me to do something.


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

Like the idea, but 


Jameshow said:


> Always hide your tools with a layer of junk....
> 
> Also if you have bikes then ones which are in pieces don't count so never build up all the frames, groupsets, wheels otherwise she will exclaim how many bikes!!!!!
> 
> Cheers James


like the idea. More difficult with motorbikes, the frames are harder to hide!
My worst capture was having my beloved return home unexpectedly to find a flat bed parked on the lawn and two hefty blokes helping me manhandle 3/4 of a ton of lathe into the workshop. "Just something I picked up on EBay" didn't prove to be an acceptable answer to " what the neck is that, and why is it on my lawn? " To cap it all the coolant tank hadn't been emptied, so mid interrogation the guys moved it a bit and a gallon or so if coolant slopped out onto the lawn, rather undermining my "it's grass darling, it's only been flattened a bit, soon spring back up". Not one of my better days, needless to say the movers found it very funny !


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

AFFF said:


> My greatest fear is that one day I will die...
> And my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them.
> 
> Same applies to tools


And watches. When I'm gone she will discover that the watch case I keep in the study has some identical friends in the workshop!


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## fixit45 (28 Jun 2021)

Be like me my wife has never been in my workshops and the upside is I always know where everything is.


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## Warferret45 (28 Jun 2021)

I got caught with motorbike engine parts in the bath, My answer, you knew what I was like when you married me. You knew I would do this dung.


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

fixit45 said:


> Be like me my wife has never been in my workshops and the upside is I always know where everything is.


My wife and kids have no interest in machinery at all. When my daughter was about 5 she wandered into the workshop when I was on the lathe, " what's that machine for daddy? " Struggling to think of an explanation I told her is was for making round things. This is now a standing joke, when dad retires he's going to spend all his time in the shed making round things! I can only hope!!


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

Warferret45 said:


> I got caught with motorbike engine parts in the bath, My answer, you knew what I was like when you married me. You knew I would do this dung.


Ah those were the days, carburettors in the kitchen sink, heat cure paint baking in the oven, grubby overalls in the washing machine! Only bonus is she was quite receptive to the idea of me having an oven, sink and washing machine in the shed, which would obviously need to be larger to accommodate all this stuff! Still have my moments, a while ago she was getting some stuff out of the freezer when the cry went up, "what the neck is this?" She'd found the shaft for my thicknesser, waiting to be retrieved once I'd got the pulley nice and hot to press it on. It was well wrapped up, not doing any harm . ....?


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## Terry - Somerset (28 Jun 2021)

We have an unwritten rule.

I don't ask how much her hairdresser costs and she doesn't ask how much the tools cost. All we say is "that looks nice/interesting"

It's worked for nearly 40 years!


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## paulrbarnard (28 Jun 2021)

Daniel2 said:


> My strategy is to identify an obscure job that needs doing in the house,
> but can only be properly achieved with a specific tool.
> The good wife then (+/- happily), purchases said tool in the hope that
> said job will get done, one day.
> ...


I have a similar agreement. If I’m asked to do a job I get to buy a specific tool for that job at something less than what it would have cost to get the job done by someone else. I do still get the “too many tools” recital though.


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## paulrbarnard (28 Jun 2021)

Terry - Somerset said:


> We have an unwritten rule.
> 
> I don't ask how much her hairdresser costs and she doesn't ask how much the tools cost. All we say is "that looks nice/interesting"
> 
> It's worked for nearly 40 years!


I don’t think “That looks interesting” would go down well when my wife gets back from the hairdressers


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## D_W (28 Jun 2021)

AFFF said:


> My greatest fear is that one day I will die...
> And my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them.
> 
> Same applies to tools



If you don't worry about it while you're alive, I guarantee it won't bother you when you're dead!


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## MikeK (28 Jun 2021)

AFFF said:


> My greatest fear is that one day I will die...
> And my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them.
> 
> Same applies to tools





My wife surprised me one day while we were at the hardware store to buy some shelf brackets and then wandered to the tool section. She said "every new project is an opportunity for a new tool." She understands! 

We don't hide any of our purchases from each other, and she no longer rolls her eyes when she sees me unloading a new box from the back of the truck. She knows how much everything in my shops cost, but doesn't necessarily appreciate the value. To help when I eventually pop my clogs, I maintain "The Envelope" in a location known only to her. It is unlikely that she will take up any of my hobbies, so The Envelope has a list of previously coordinated contacts to assist her in liquidating my tools and equipment so she doesn't have to worry too much about it or be concerned that someone will offer her a few hundred Euros to haul everything away. I keep the receipts for every significant tool I buy, so she will have the documentation to assist with the liquidation.


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## XH558 (28 Jun 2021)

It is better to ask for forgiveness, than ask for permission. Works fine for me.


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

paulrbarnard said:


> I don’t think “That looks interesting” would go down well when my wife gets back from the hairdressers


Would still probably be an improvement on my usual sin of not noticing she has had it done at all !


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## Cabinetman (28 Jun 2021)

Mike, you look far too young to be worried about things like that and "maintaining an envelope" is almost fatalistic!
I just hope that it’s so long away in the future that the values are meaningless lol.


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## Fergie 307 (28 Jun 2021)

Terry - Somerset said:


> We have an unwritten rule.
> 
> I don't ask how much her hairdresser costs and she doesn't ask how much the tools cost. All we say is "that looks nice/interesting"
> 
> It's worked for nearly 40 years!


We did once have an interesting conversation along the lines of " if I try and match a watch to each of your handbags who is going to run out first? " She has been fairly quiet on that subject since. I could have a similar conversation with my daughter, but in her case it would focus on shoes!


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## Cabinetman (28 Jun 2021)

Talking of wives in workshops, many years ago I had a female rep call every month and she once told me about her husbands workshop and his wood lathe, One day when he was at work she decided she wanted a go and the next thing she knew the chisel had just missed her head as it flew over her shoulder and embedded itself in the wall behind her, she definitely wasn’t going to try that again!


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## paulrbarnard (28 Jun 2021)

Fergie 307 said:


> We did once have an interesting conversation along the lines of " if I try and match a watch to each of your handbags who is going to run out first? " She has been fairly quiet on that subject since. I could have a similar conversation with my daughter, but in her case it would focus on shoes!


I helped one of my daughters move to university. I loaded the car with the four large cardboard boxes she had packed and then into her room at university. She then asked if we could go buy paper, pens, food, cooking utensils and other essentials. I asked what we had brought in the four large boxes if she had none of the things I would have packed to go away with. She told me one box had her clothes and the other three were her shoes…


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## MikeK (28 Jun 2021)

Cabinetman said:


> Mike, you look far too young to be worried about things like that and "maintaining an envelope" is almost fatalistic!
> I just hope that it’s so long away in the future that the values are meaningless lol.



Thank you! I'm in my mid-60's and hope I have a few more decades to go, but there might be a bus with my name on it. 

The Envelope contains a lot of other information to make things easier on my wife and is part of our estate planning. It does seem a bit fatalistic, but not having a will or similar document does not affect the inevitable, and Mr. Reaper can visit any time. When my father died, my mom spent about six months on a voyage of discovery trying to sort out the monetary and insurance accounts, some of which she didn't know existed. If we both go at the same time, then we don't care who has to sort out everything.


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## Thingybob (28 Jun 2021)

paulrbarnard said:


> I helped one of my daughters move to university. I loaded the car with the four large cardboard boxes she had packed and then into her room at university. She then asked if we could go buy paper, pens, food, cooking utensils and other essentials. I asked what we had brought in the four large boxes if she had none of the things I would have packed to go away with. She told me one box had her clothes and the other three were her shoes…


Thars why my wife is affectionally know to me by her pet name " My little centapede" at least 100 pairs


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## Ozi (28 Jun 2021)

My advice. Marry a woman with a big bum and keep the door to the workshop narrow - works for me buy if I put on weight I'm stuffed.


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## manglitter (29 Jun 2021)

fixit45 said:


> Be like me my wife has never been in my workshops and the upside is I always know where everything is.



This is my dream.


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## lucgizi (29 Jun 2021)

My husband insists I discuss every tool purchase with him and threw a big wobbly when my shiny new mitre saw turned up which he wasn't consulted on (I kind of needed it in a hurry for a project). So I just calmly asked him how much his new graphics card cost for his gaming pc... He thought I hadn't noticed... His answer was "but I needed that!". I said I rest my case.


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## Cozzer (29 Jun 2021)

I had an MG Midget gearbox in our kitchen many years ago. It was a bitterly cold winter, so I sought - and obtained! - "permission" to do so, on the grounds that it wouldn't be taking "that long" to rebuild. It rested on a 4 wheel trolley with a couple of over-long, ankle-clouting planks to support it. 
Suffice to say, it took weeks.
Finally complete, I spread some plastic sheeting underneath, and proceeded to clean it with some powerful degreaser trade stuff....which leaked everywhere, and turned the floor tiles into mush.


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## Davey44 (29 Jun 2021)

Fergie 307 said:


> Like the idea, but
> 
> like the idea. More difficult with motorbikes, the frames are harder to hide!
> My worst capture was having my beloved return home unexpectedly to find a flat bed parked on the lawn and two hefty blokes helping me manhandle 3/4 of a ton of lathe into the workshop. "Just something I picked up on EBay" didn't prove to be an acceptable answer to " what the neck is that, and why is it on my lawn? " To cap it all the coolant tank hadn't been emptied, so mid interrogation the guys moved it a bit and a gallon or so if coolant slopped out onto the lawn, rather undermining my "it's grass darling, it's only been flattened a bit, soon spring back up". Not one of my better days, needless to say the movers found it very funny !


Wow, that just sounds like a bridge (sorry, lathe) too far! I often find it's a good ploy to have done a part exchange or a swap!


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## danst96 (29 Jun 2021)

My one is, oh i just bidded on it on ebay, i didnt actually think i would win it! It was met by, oh yeh i have done that before as well actually.


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## Stevekane (29 Jun 2021)

Warferret45 said:


> I got caught with motorbike engine parts in the bath, My answer, you knew what I was like when you married me. You knew I would do this dung.


Your mistake was putting them in the bath, the dishwaher really cleans up oily engine parts, much better than you could imagine.


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## Dangermouse 2nd (30 Jun 2021)

I'm lucky. I'm married to a man !!


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## PerryGunn (1 Jul 2021)

How do I put this....


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## novocaine (1 Jul 2021)

well I collected another new bike on Tuesday. it's red.  
but I told my considerably better half before it came home about it, a shake of the head and a "OK" was all I got. I'm lucky, my wife puts up with my antics. now it's time to find lots of 1998 mtb parts in the spares bin.


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## Junah (1 Jul 2021)




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## joethedrummer (1 Jul 2021)

,,when i"m dead and gone, the devil and me will have a right old chuckle when she finds out how much the cymbals etc: cost,,


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