# Norm's Sayings...



## Neomorph (23 Feb 2006)

It's nearly 5am and I can't sleep so for a laugh I thought I would try to think of things that Norm says most episodes...

... and nothing is more important than these, (non) safety glasses. (I thought safety glasses wrapped around your eyes!)

... and fasten it with a few brads.

... for this I'll use my joiner.

... for this I'll use pocket hole technology.

... for this I'll use my nuclear powered planer :shock: 

Just kidding with the last. It's annoying that he repeats explanations every episode (namely things like the joiner and glasses) and yet skips over things too quickly in other cases. I know it's a half hour show but some of the scenes seem to cut off quickly before you have grasped what he is saying (thank god for my dvd recorder lol).

Don't get me wrong I love the show... it's just that wasting time walking around museums or around factories wastes time that could be used for showing more of his work.


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## DomValente (23 Feb 2006)

When I first started my workshop my landlord of the time(a farmer)was a budding amateur and seemed to find it amusing that every time he passed my door he would call out, "coupla brads Dom", funny at first. 
Problem is everyone else on the farm then nicknamed me 'Coupla'.


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## Neomorph (23 Feb 2006)

DomValente":360bb4p3 said:


> When I first started my workshop my landlord of the time(a farmer)was a budding amateur and seemed to find it amusing that every time he passed my door he would call out, "coupla brads Dom", funny at first.
> Problem is everyone else on the farm then nicknamed me 'Coupla'.



It's funny when people call you names that stick... With me it was while I was in army basic training and the NCO's called everyone with their surname which was normal... 

Strangely though I was getting a name as a buttkisser as I was seen as being too friendly with the NCO's which I didn't understand at first. It all came out at one night after we all had a few drinks. One of the other noobs asked me why everyone but me got called by their surnames... I looked at them gone out for a while but then the penny dropped... I then had to explain that my name was John Hanton and not Anton John and that when the sarge yelled " 'ANTON" it was just his accent cutting off the "H" :roll: Was quite cool though because everyone was apologising and I got thoroughly smashed as everyone kept buying me pints.


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## Gary H (23 Feb 2006)

Just thought I'd add...

...I'll do this on my saw station.

...we'll take this over to the sanding station.

...I'll shape this at my router station.

More stations than British Rail!!

Gotta love it though eh?  

Gary


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## Neomorph (24 Feb 2006)

Oh yeah and I forgot my pet hate of American misspellings. I was only just starting to watch Norm when I thought I heard him say...

"... and this door needs a rabbit."

FFS... is this Watership down? :shock: I was laughing my socks off at this guy who was supposed to be a top woodworker. It took me ages to figure out what he was talking about was rebates and thought he was getting it totally wrong... but they do actually call them "rabbets" don't they?

George Bernard Shaw once said that the United States and the United Kingdom are "two countries divided by a common language". He couldn't have been more right. :lol:


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## DomValente (24 Feb 2006)

I know what he meant, used to subscribe to a well known forum in the States and was never quite sure, especially on the general chat forum, if they were being offensive and probably they often wondered if I was.

Dom


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## syntec4 (24 Feb 2006)

What about after every advert


.....Well hello and good morning


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## MikeW (24 Feb 2006)

Neomorph":2w0ik4h5 said:


> Oh yeah and I forgot my pet hate of American misspellings. I was only just starting to watch Norm when I thought I heard him say...
> 
> "... and this door needs a rabbit."


lol, most Americans not living on the east coast make fun of the accent people who live there have. 'Drawers' is an especially wonderful word to listen to Norm pronounce.

As to why in America 'rebates' wasn't kept, I have no idea. But it was in usage early on. My guess is colloquial writing caught up with the mispronunciation that seems rampant on the East coast.

As for other "misspellings," as so many of us came from England, one can only surmise. Most likely our rebellious nature prompted us to shed even the simple, everyday terms in the trades.

Now what is that saying about two nations being separated by a common language...

Take care, Mike


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## Anonymous (24 Feb 2006)

I was taught at college that a rebate runs with the grain, a rabbet across it, so both terms are right whether in the UK or the USA.
Mind you, I can't vouch for the US version of 'lumber' dimensions!  five quarter stock? what's all that about? I was taught that four quarters make one, so it's one and a quarter etc, and I was at infants skool then!    

cheers,
Andy


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## Alf (24 Feb 2006)

andy king":2jxecfzw said:


> I was taught at college that a rebate runs with the grain, a rabbet across it


That's interesting, never heard that one before. Adam Cherubini over on Wood Central is trying to get everyone to call a cross-grain rebate a "fillister" and says that's correct. I fear we'll be saddled with "cross grain" and "with the grain" riders to these terms for many years yet, if they're to be accurately understood.

Sorry, I seem to have wandered dangerously on-topic in the off-topic section.  

Cheers, Alf


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## gidon (24 Feb 2006)

andy king":j8syi637 said:


> ... five quarter stock? what's all that about? I was taught that four quarters make one, so it's one and a quarter etc, and I was at infants skool then!



Yep - they were called "Improper fractions" for a reason .

Cheers

Gidon


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## Anonymous (24 Feb 2006)

> Adam Cherubini over on Wood Central is trying to get everyone to call a cross-grain rebate a "fillister" and says that's correct.


But what about a sash fillister plane Alf? That's specifically for running rebates along the grain for the glass to sit into, but designed to register from the opposite side of the rebate to leave a set amount of timber in, not take a set amount out.
Just to get back off topic, how about 'a few coats of polyurethane bring out the beauty'?

cheers,
Andy


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## Alf (24 Feb 2006)

Search me. I think that was dismissed as an anomaly or summat. Adam's a bit of a law unto himself. :roll: :lol: 

Happily I've not seen enough Norm to get back on topic. :wink: 

Cheers, Alf


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## Anonymous (24 Feb 2006)

> Happily I've not seen enough Norm to get back on topic.
> :wink:


How about 'This one's just about ready for the finishing room' the scene then cuts to the work being covered in a coat of donkey brown stain of some sort to 'bring out the grain' :shock:


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## syntec4 (24 Feb 2006)

andy king":8w1s2ndv said:


> > Happily I've not seen enough Norm to get back on topic.
> > :wink:
> 
> 
> How about 'This one's just about ready for the finishing room' the scene then cuts to the work being covered in a coat of donkey brown stain of some sort to 'bring out the grain' :shock:



Donkey Brown  
That made me laugh.
Why does he do EVERYTHING dark brown. Did he buy a big tin and needs to use it up?

 
lee


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## Noel (24 Feb 2006)

I seem to recall that, ref the rebate/rabbet (as opposed to "rabbit") business that our American friends are more correct (well almost). It's apparently an old French word and rabbet is closer to the original than the bastardised English rebate version.
Yes Nahm and his draahers etc...

Noel


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## Neomorph (24 Feb 2006)

andy king":25s4e4st said:


> > Happily I've not seen enough Norm to get back on topic.
> > :wink:
> 
> 
> How about 'This one's just about ready for the finishing room' the scene then cuts to the work being covered in a coat of donkey brown stain of some sort to 'bring out the grain' :shock:



Yeah that makes me sick... his finishing room is bigger than my workshop lol... but having a finishing room makes sense. Poly + shavings + dust is not a happy combination.

Also having a few fire extinguishers about the place would be a good bet. I bought my first tin of Danish Oil today and my jaw dropped on the floor when it said on the back "application cloths may spontaniously combust". 

:tongue9: 

I'm coming to the conclusion that woodworking is one heck of a dangerous job... what with having all those rabbits attacking the furniture as well as polishing cloths bursting into flame... not to mention losing fingers from kickbacks and don't start me on Norm's unshielded dado and table saw... *shiver*


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## Neomorph (24 Feb 2006)

Noel":1rxgjg66 said:


> I seem to recall that, ref the rebate/rabbet (as opposed to "rabbit") business that our American friends are more correct (well almost). It's apparently an old French word and rabbet is closer to the original than the bastardised English rebate version.
> Yes Nahm and his draahers etc...
> 
> Noel



I spelled it "rabbit" on purpose as that's exactly what it sounds like heh. You will notice I actually spelled it correctly later.

Names can change a lot over the years to what they sound like and a town I was born in is a perfect example. It's called Cannock and when I was at school I did a local history project that was supposed to take 2 weeks... 6 months later I was still looking into it as it was amazing what you can find... and what I found out was the towns real name was Cank... it just got alterred over the years due to non-literacy and local accents.

Going back to Norm's sayings and rabbets is his favourite one of "I shall do it on the dado with the sacrificial fence installed". Images of pagen rituals being carried out on the dado table comes to mind


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## Shadowfax (24 Feb 2006)

What about "and now it's time for a little assemberley".

SF


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## JFC (24 Feb 2006)

Re: why cover everything in donkey brown . Hes hiding the gaps :lol:


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## Neomorph (25 Feb 2006)

JFC":zg7oyh6o said:


> Re: why cover everything in donkey brown . Hes hiding the gaps :lol:



I watched todays show and he was doing everything lathe... and he showed how to centre the part you hammer onto the wood before putting the wood and part onto the lathe. He carefully marked the centre and then used a centre punch to get it exact... AND TOTALLY MISSED THE CENTRE MARK  .

He then quickly hammered the metal bit on to hide it heh. :lol: 

Mind you it was a change of pace for Norm not actually building something but showing basics. I didn't know his New Yankee Workshop has been going 17 years... That's incredible for a documentary!


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## OPJ (25 Feb 2006)

I think you've already covered most of his sayings here, but one thing I don't like is how he can say he is trying something for the first time, he's unsure about it, and yet, he pulls it off an absolutely flawless job - TWICE! :shock: 

Take the cigar chair as an example. If I was to have someone show me how to upholster a chair, by the time I head back to the workshop I'm sure I'd only be lost in the dark again!

And the bowl turning. "I've never done this before..... so I'll make a perfect job of it."


Aha. He also talks about leaving things '_to cook for a while_' - but isn't that the stereotypical wife of every American? How does he have time to build these things twice, stroll around museums and gallleries up and down the USA and cook for himself, all at the same time?! :?


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## Jorden (26 Feb 2006)

Did we miss out 'No glue here' to go along with 'a good protective coat of polyurethane'  

Dennis


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## Lord Nibbo (26 Feb 2006)

Jorden":3owiek1p said:


> Did we miss out 'No glue here' to go along with 'a good protective coat of polyurethane'
> 
> Dennis



You forgot the "A little light sanding between coats"


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## Paul Chapman (26 Feb 2006)

I find all the discussion that I read about Norm quite amusing. But beware, all might not be as it seems :wink: 

Many, many years ago when the concept of DIY was being invented (probably the 1960s) there was a bloke called Barry Bucknell who had a series on television showing how easy it was to transform your house into something wonderful (God, that man must have been hated by so many husbands :evil: )

The TV company (must have been the BBC) bought up a large Victorian house in London and wonderful :roll: Barry Bucknell went through it week by week, taking out fireplaces, removing dado rails and covering the panelled doors with hardboard.

Families (particularly wives) looked in awe at the marvelous work he did. "Why can't my bone idle old man do what Barry does?" many were heard to say :? 

Many years later, long after the series was forgotten, I saw an interview with Barry Bucknell in which he said "I'm really surprised at how popular the series was. I didn't have a clue what I was doing half of the time" :shock: 

His wife added "Oh, he's hopeless at home. Never does anything." :shock: 

You have been warned :wink: 

Paul


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## George_N (26 Feb 2006)

Paul Chapman":bs61lnej said:


> Barry Bucknell went through it week by week, taking out fireplaces, removing dado rails and covering the panelled doors with hardboard.Paul



I remember watching Barry Bucknell as a kid, my dad and I were mighty impressed by the way he drove in screws with his* New Yankee Screwdriver* :wink: 

George


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## Paul Chapman (26 Feb 2006)

Nice one, George \/ 

At least he got something right    

Paul


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## seaco (28 Feb 2006)

And what about "I'll finish off with a few 4 penny finish nails" (WHAT) :?:


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## judder (1 Mar 2006)

how about " let's take another look at the prototype"


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## Taffy Turner (2 Mar 2006)

Can't remember the exact words, but the gist of it is - 

"lets cover up this beautiful natural wood colour with this manky dark stain!"

Still gotta love him though!

Taffy


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## Neomorph (2 Mar 2006)

I just keep waiting for Norm to say "Here is one I got wrong earlier" and blow me but he did just that on the Bonnet Top Highboy in todays episode. :shock: 

Apparently when he was bending some curved laminate he split the sucker. Well that's me disappointed - He's not the god of wood after all! :lol:


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