# Spelling



## doctor Bob (28 Jan 2012)

I'm not the best, my punctuation is terrible but please .... for the love of god, it's drawers not draws .....


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## MickCheese (28 Jan 2012)

I am now finding younger people's spelling is getting worse. I frequently find those under 30 writing, in what should be a semi formal context, in text speak with shorthand I do not understand.

So at 52 I am beginning to turn into my father! I now watch and agree with Grumpy Old Men on the telly.

Mick


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## knappers (28 Jan 2012)

It's not just you - we recently had a girl temping at work, and the lack of punctuation and constant use of "text speak" words made her emails utterly illegible.
Sometimes I despair.

Si.


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## RogerP (28 Jan 2012)

The mistake I see very often, even in otherwise well written posts, is the use of "your" when "you're" is correct. The mix-up between "there" and "their" is also very common.


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## chunkolini (28 Jan 2012)

Have to agree bad spelling and even use of text speak does my swede in.
Re 'for the love of god, it's drawers not draws .....' are you doing it or looking in them?
I also find so called 'smilies' infuriating.
I was fifty a few weeks back though.


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## hanser (28 Jan 2012)

chunkolini":141ejumr said:


> I also find so called 'smilies' infuriating.
> I was fifty a few weeks back though.



Victor - somewhat belated but Happy Birthday :lol:


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## Lowlife (28 Jan 2012)

I find translation sites like Babelfish very useful when confronted with gibberish posts that are hard to understand, I write a reply in Dutch or some other language which the offender will hopefully find equally difficult, something along the lines of... 

"Dit is een Brits forum, het grootste deel van it' s de leden zijn Brits en spreken het Engels, zelfs die leden van andere landen, die vaak don' t heeft het Engels aangezien een eerste taal, schijnt om meer inspanning te leveren dan u doen en erin slagen op een bepaalde manier te posten dat de meerderheid van ons kan begrijpen. Zou het aan veel zijn om dat u een fractie van die inspanning gebruikt en vaag begrijpelijk iets te vragen schrijft?"


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## paultnl (28 Jan 2012)

Dat is een goed idee


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## theartfulbodger (28 Jan 2012)

Lowlife":q7x6awqd said:


> , I write a reply in Dutch or some other language which the offender will hopefully find equally difficult, something along the lines of...



Fantastic idea! Some texts I receive from a certain person would give the team at Countdown pause for thought, I now have the means to exact my revenge :twisted:


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## Digit (28 Jan 2012)

The one I detest, and that seems to be spreading, is 'alot'.

Roy.


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## Jacob (28 Jan 2012)

Alot? wos dis den? noo 1 on mee. 
Persnly not bovvered how they spel. Gud look to em. Downt b pert of ohever u r.!! Izza alot o bolox.

Alot alot. Anyfink ter do wiv allotments?


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## cambournepete (28 Jan 2012)

Some would say that language - and hence speeling - is constantly evolving, so the things being complained about are just natural evolution.


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

> Alot alot. Anyfink ter do wiv allotments?



Not a thing Jacob, thus how they spell does indeed matter as you were unable to understand, QED!

Roy.


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## monkeybiter (29 Jan 2012)

England v Germany; 'v' 'vee'? has 'versus' become extinct? Also 'as' instead of 'has'.


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## Jacob (29 Jan 2012)

doctor Bob":218yigh3 said:


> I'm not the best, my punctuation is terrible but please .... for the love of god, it's drawers not draws .....


Wot about bloons?


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## steadyeddie (29 Jan 2012)

cambournepete wrote
Some would say that language - and hence "*speeling*" - is constantly evolving, so the things being complained about are just natural evolution.

Oops! :lol: 


Dave


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## Lowlife (29 Jan 2012)

Evolution usually results in improvement though, this is de-evolution, we're regressing to a system of verbal communication based on gutteral grunts, and a written language that pre-dates standardised spelling. 

It's hardly surprising there's so much unemployment right now, when so many people lack the literacy and numeracy skills to perform even the most basic tasks without constant supervision. They are essentially unemployable, and the jobs they should be doing are often taken by immigrant workers for whom English is a second or third language.


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## cambournepete (29 Jan 2012)

steadyeddie":2akeugkb said:


> cambournepete wrote
> Some would say that language - and hence "*speeling*" - is constantly evolving, so the things being complained about are just natural evolution.
> 
> Oops! :lol:
> ...


It was deliberate, honest!


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

Hands up all those who believe him! :lol: 

Roy.


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## chunkolini (29 Jan 2012)

A bit of a random jump above from discussing spelling to going on about immigration.
Sounds like the casual racism spouted by The Daily Mail.


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

So if I state that all the waiters in my local cafe are Polish that's racism as opposed to an accurate observation?

Roy.


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## RogerS (29 Jan 2012)

chunkolini":1v1fbab5 said:


> A bit of a random jump above from discussing spelling to going on about immigration.
> Sounds like the casual racism spouted by The Daily Mail.



#-o How come? 

If some English people have such a poor command of their mother tongue that it means an employer will offer a job instead to someone coming to this country with a better command of English, even though it may be their second or third language and so is better suited to employment...somehow how that simple statement of fact becomes 'racist'? #-o


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

Looks that way. Mind you a salon owner was recently turned away from a Job Centre on the basis that her advert for experienced staff was 'unacceptable' as it eliminated those lacking experience, on that basis inability to count shouldn't bar you from working in a bookies for example, or a bank even.
It's a mad mad mad mad world.

Roy.


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## MickCheese (29 Jan 2012)

chunkolini":3kooh26v said:


> A bit of a random jump above from discussing spelling to going on about immigration.
> Sounds like the casual racism spouted by The Daily Mail.



This reaction is just so typical. As soon as the word immigration is used then someone jumps to the conclusion the underlying tone is racist. Is that not why we are forbidden from discussing anything to do with immigration in case we are labelled racist?

I find your comment quite insulting to the person who wrote it, maybe you are the latent racist looking to deflect attention from your suppressed true feelings.

Mick


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## Mark A (29 Jan 2012)

Digit":glunm5fr said:


> Looks that way. Mind you a salon owner was recently turned away from a Job Centre on the basis that her advert for experienced staff was 'unacceptable' as it eliminated those lacking experience, on that basis inability to count shouldn't bar you from working in a bookies for example, or a bank even.
> It's a mad mad mad mad world.
> 
> Roy.


Last week at a bank, the woman behind the counter had to find a calculator to add £48 and £80 together! 

My sister is currently working as a teaching assistant in a college in Northampton. Last week she taught a class of adults how to add and subtract! How have these people gone through life (one was 62 years old) with such a lacking in basic arithmetic?

I agree, it's a mad world.

Mark


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

You see them on TV, they can't add up simple figures and brush it off with a smile and state, 'oh I'm rubbish at maths,' as though it is something to be proud of, it should be a challenge.
I watched an episode of 'Britains worst driver,' once, the woman admitted that she often drove several miles further than intended, looking for a 'suitable' parking slot.
She had last attempted parallel parking in the 1970s!
If it first I don't succeed, I give up!

Roy.


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## knappers (29 Jan 2012)

People in shops look at me like I'm mad when I add up the total in my head and tell them the answer. They look at me as if to say "Don't be ridiculous, you didn't even use a calculator, how could you possibly know the answer?"
I am only in early forties myself, but I really do wonder where it all went wrong. The current standards of literacy and numeracy staggers me sometimes.

Si


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## RogerS (29 Jan 2012)

knappers":3qyx41ew said:


> People in shops look at me like I'm mad when I add up the total in my head and tell them the answer. They look at me as if to say "Don't be ridiculous, you didn't even use a calculator, how could you possibly know the answer?"
> I am only in early forties myself, but I really do wonder where it all went wrong. The current standards of literacy and numeracy staggers me sometimes.
> 
> Si



Or when, say, you give some small change plus a note in order to get a whole number of pounds or even a note back in change.


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

Earlier today I was looking at a glossy catalogue for loft ladders, all priced way beyond what I would pay, and ended up wondering why they couldn't afford, with the prices they charge, a decent proof reader. :twisted: 

Roy.


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## doctor Bob (29 Jan 2012)

Digit":1ygx6txq said:


> Earlier today I was looking at a glossy catalogue for loft ladders



and some people dare to say us woodworkers are dull............ keep living on the wild side Roy, rock n' roll..... :lol:


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

Dull? We spend all day risking life and limb with big nasty machines, the excitement is unbearable!

Roy.


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## Hudson Carpentry (29 Jan 2012)

Text speak is annoying, even more so when there using small animated icons in steed of a word.

Myself and im sure others are dyslexic and to people with this could quite innocently write draws meaning drawers and it be a mistake and not a just a lazy typer.

I struggled for years with your and you're and also their and they're. Hand many of people try and teach me out it never really clicked, just as I thought I had got it right, the grammar line would pop up in word and confuse me again. About a year ago someone said it to me in a way that made it click. The only time you use "you're" is when your trying to say "you are". Hope this helps someone!

Now a year on I even know the history to how the shortened versions came about :O . But that would be showing we are dull woodworkers hehe.


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## mailee (29 Jan 2012)

What really grates on me is the use of 'an' without the vowels, it's used after a,e,i,o,u for gods sake! Got to admit I seem to have lost some of my grammar over the years. On the news this morning it was stating a lot of school kids are now spelling 'well' as wew as this is how it's spoken on the only way is Essex! Looks like our language is dying. :roll:
Oh and while we are on the subject, The magazine even spelt my name wrong in this issue? and they have printed quite a few of my articles! :roll:


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## Hudson Carpentry (29 Jan 2012)

I have no idea what your trying to explain Mailee. How you explained that to me is saying after an "a" (in some words) you write "an" which would result in "aan"?


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

I am astonished HC, not with you as such, but with your teachers. The fact that you understood when it was explained makes me wonder what the school was upto. I'm not dyslexic, but that is exactly how I was taught to know which to use.
Mind you, there was report based on the freedom of info act in the press a couple of weeks ago of a would be teacher taking the maths entrance exam, I think it was, something like 36 times.
I'm sorry, but I cannot believe that anyone needing that number of attempts just to get on the course is ever likely to make much of a maths teacher!

Roy.


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## Jacob (29 Jan 2012)

Hudson Carpentry":2ihibagp said:


> I have no idea what your trying to explain Mailee. How you explained that to me is saying after an "a" (in some words) you write "an" which would result in "aan"?


I think Mailee is thinking of "an banana". He meant before not after.
Cant' say I've noticed this, but so what of that's how people want to speak?
If they pronounce "well" as "wew" then spelling it the same way is quite intelligent - it means they can spell phonetically, but they might need to work on their pronunciation. This is the the opposite of language dying, it's language asserting itself against standardisation.
Lerrum geronwivit I don't care!


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

> Lerrum geronwivit I don't care!




Of coarse!
Mr and Mrs Wright have a perfect right to write about rites entirely as they wish, but it would be easier for their readers if they got it rite, wouldn't it Jacob?

Roy.


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## RogerS (29 Jan 2012)

Ah, the great grinding down on the slope of mediocrity.


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## Jacob (29 Jan 2012)

Digit":gszz94ew said:


> > Lerrum geronwivit I don't care!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well yes, but it certainly shouldn't deter anybody from having a go, however badly they spell. Most of the time poor spelling is not ambiguous and so duz knot reerly matta.


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

But if you can't be bothered to learn to spell Jacob you would be unaware of any ambiguities wouldn't you?
Knot bovvering immediately closes doors, doctors need to express themselves correctly, so do chemists, engineers and physicists etc, so encouraging people to believe the matter is of little import, as you seem to think, is not exactly helpful is it?

Roy.


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## Racers (29 Jan 2012)

Hi, Chaps

I with Hudson Carpentry on this, I am dislexic and spelling is something I just can't learn.
It might seem simple to normal people but to us its nearly impossible, English is they hardest language it shows up us dislexics really well.
I am old enough to have been considered thick at school and not helped in any way, or even entered into the english exam (I think they wanted to keep the pass rate up)
So have a thought before you critise some one they might just be dislexic.

Pete


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## Jacob (29 Jan 2012)

I think one should be bothered to learn to spell, but should not be put off from having a go and getting it wrong, by a lot of tedious old farts who spend their lives complaining about everything!


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## Racers (29 Jan 2012)

My god I agree with Jacob :wink: 

Its what you say not how you type it.

Pete


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## Digit (29 Jan 2012)

Pete, not critisising anyone who can't spell, only those who can't be bothered, or like Jacob who think that it's not important. People in your position fight a constant day to day battle in the modern world 'cos, as I pointed out, it closes many doors. Those who fight that battle have my respect, those who can't bothered, haven't.
I am profoundly deaf, I am fully aware of the difficulties some people have to live with, believe me!
Jacob, if it wasn't for us old farts you'd have nothing to moan about, so think of us as doing you a favour, or as you once stated, if you don't like, don't read it, remember?

Roy.


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## promhandicam (29 Jan 2012)

mailee":6rn9te6a said:


> What really grates on me is the use of 'an' without the vowels, it's used after a,e,i,o,u for gods sake!



not quite as simple as that Alan as it depends on how the word is pronounced i.e. an hour or a uniform! Oh and if we are being pedants, it should be "for God's sake" :roll:


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## Hudson Carpentry (29 Jan 2012)

promhandicam":30axkz6n said:


> mailee":30axkz6n said:
> 
> 
> > What really grates on me is the use of 'an' without the vowels, it's used after a,e,i,o,u for gods sake!
> ...



An is a word that stumps me all the time and often wonder if A or AN is the correct one to use. I say the sentence, once with an and once with a then decide which sounds better.

Are you saying that you use 'an' only if the following word doesn't start with an a,e,i,o or u?


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## Lowlife (29 Jan 2012)

chunkolini":33iqpmij said:


> A bit of a random jump above from discussing spelling to going on about immigration.
> Sounds like the casual racism spouted by The Daily Mail.




Sorry but you couldn't be more wrong, I've fought against racism in all it's forms for most of my life. I was simply making the point that many immigrants have a better grasp of English than some Brits do, so it's hardly surprising that some employers should choose them in preference. I've employed many foreign workers myself for that very reason, and will continue to do so if they're better qualified to do the job.


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## promhandicam (29 Jan 2012)

HC, generally you use an before a word that starts with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) but also with words that _sound_ like they start with a vowel - as in hour which sounds like our - the h is silent. Conversely, if a word that begins with a vowel sounds like one that starts with a consonant - uniform sounds like you-ni-form then it is preceded by a!


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## paultnl (29 Jan 2012)

promhandicam":3e70jmox said:


> HC, generally you use an before a word that starts with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) but also with words that _sound_ like they start with a vowel - as in hour which sounds like our - the h is silent. Conversely, if a word that begins with a vowel sounds like one that starts with a consonant - uniform sounds like you-ni-form then it is preceded by a!



The one that annoys me is people saying "an hotel" as I was taught that dropping ones H's was very bad form. I will forgive the Americans for "an herb" as they tend to pronouce it "erb". Still don't like it though.


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## Hudson Carpentry (30 Jan 2012)

promhandicam":1ckr0bok said:


> HC, generally you use an before a word that starts with a vowel (a, e, i, o, u) but also with words that _sound_ like they start with a vowel - as in hour which sounds like our - the h is silent. Conversely, if a word that begins with a vowel sounds like one that starts with a consonant - uniform sounds like you-ni-form then it is preceded by a!



Thanks!


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## RogerS (30 Jan 2012)

Digit":ki4mgcy6 said:


> ........
> Jacob, if it wasn't for us old farts you'd have nothing to moan about, so think of us as doing you a favour, or as you once stated, if you don't like, don't read it, remember?
> 
> Roy.



God bless the Ignore List, Roy!


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## Alf (30 Jan 2012)

paultnl":d0u3h370 said:


> The one that annoys me is people saying "an hotel" as I was taught that dropping ones H's was very bad form.


Oddly enough "an 'otel" was how it used to be said amongst the well-to-do until comparatively recently. (Pre-war, or thereabouts)

What drives me up the wall is when people end their sentences with a query? When they actually should be using a full stop. They walk among us, even here.


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## Woody Alan (30 Jan 2012)

I can accept dyslexic spelling or quick spelling mistakes, and have even made the their/there mistake myself, however the meaning is there, and on a fast forum that's fine, but....if there is one thing that driving me nuts it's
"would of, should of, could of" as in:- 
I should_ of_ spelt it properly
instead of
I should've spelt it properly. 
Meaning
I should have spelt it properly. 
This is relatively recent perpetuated mistake that seems to be the accepted norm now.

Alan


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## monkeybiter (30 Jan 2012)

That's a whole nother thing!


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## mailee (30 Jan 2012)

Sorry guys, yes I did mean before the vowels and not after, must have been the beer that did it.


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## Jake (30 Jan 2012)

Alf":auf9mlip said:


> paultnl":auf9mlip said:
> 
> 
> > The one that annoys me is people saying "an hotel" as I was taught that dropping ones H's was very bad form.
> ...



A hour and an half?

It depends on whether the h is stressed or not (it is in half, it is not in hour).


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## Jacob (30 Jan 2012)

An owera narf innit? Is this a riggle?


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## Jake (30 Jan 2012)

Northern yokels do what they like anyway; the rules are for those ruffians.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

Ther's not a lot of hope when national news lines are hopeless....

_that's all police are saying at the moment. Post mortems will take place this afternoon."_

....from Sky.

Roy.


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":3uzs1x3f said:


> Ther's not a lot of hope when national news lines are hopeless....
> 
> _that's all police are saying at the moment. Post mortems will take place this afternoon."_
> 
> ...


What's wrong with that? Excepting your own lazy spelling mistake; "there's" has two Es.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

It wasn't laziness J, simply being sarcastic, after all you understood what I wrote, which you claim is all that matters, that makes the second time it's gone over your head. :lol: 
What's wrong with it? Nothing, if you believe in the Lazarus affect/effect? And that's not a mistake either.

Roy.


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## bugbear (31 Jan 2012)

I think judgement of accuracy of grammar and spelling is one of those relative terms.

Anyone who is _more_ accurate in grammar and spelling than me is a mindless pedant.

Anyone who is _less_ accurate in grammar and spelling than me is a stupid chav.

c.f. driving:

Anyone who drives _faster_ than me is a horsepower fixated psychopath.

Anyone who drives _slower_ than me is an over cautious dodderer.

Other examples can be found ;-)

BugBear


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

I take it that that is a dictionary definition BB? :lol: 

Roy.


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":7k2yyo1r said:


> It wasn't laziness J, simply being sarcastic, after all you understood what I wrote, which you claim is all that matters, that makes the second time it's gone over your head. :lol:
> What's wrong with it? Nothing, if you believe in the Lazarus affect/effect? And that's not a mistake either.
> 
> Roy.


Deliberate mistake? :lol: :lol: :lol: 
What's wrong with a post mortem in the afternoon?
It's "effect" BTW. "Affect" is a verb (most of the time) "to affect" etc.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

No Jacob, a gamble, I gambled that you would pull me up and ignore Sky's spelling mistake, and I was correct.
Thus the Lazarus Effect would Affect Lazarus, ok?
BTW the plural of Post Mortem is Posts Mortem.
Don't be lazy, use a dictionary! :twisted: 

Roy.


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## theartfulbodger (31 Jan 2012)

I'm reluctant to ask but should the word police have had a capital P?


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":3s0eekuq said:


> ......
> BTW the plural of Post Mortem is Posts Mortem.......


No it isn't.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

I think it reasonable to ask why Sky can't either employ people who understand standard English or hire a decent proof reader.

Roy.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

It was when I was at school Jacob, if it has been changed, so be it!

Roy.


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":5bkhil6e said:


> It was when I was at school Jacob, if it has been changed, so be it!
> 
> Roy.


So you blame the school for getting it wrong?

Anyway that's two mistakes Digit! I don't think you should pontificate on about spelling so much, if you can't do it yourself! :lol: :lol: 
Not that it matters of course - don't let it put you off attempting to write, we are all very tolerant here (with certain exceptions!)


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

No I don't 'blame' the school Jacob, you're moving the goal posts again, Post Mortems is a corruption of the Latin.
Post Mortems mean after deaths, how many do you get? Unless you accept the Lazarus effect?
Many things change in the language, so 'blame' is hardly an appropriate word, eg, I was taught Zeebra, I was taught stress as a result of strain etc, I was taught Courts Marshial if you have moved away from original usuage I will just have to catch up.

As pointed out here.....



> Examples:
> 
> He now has two mothers-in-law. (plural of mother-in-law)
> 
> ...



...common usage has changed things, so I repeat, there is no 'blame' in my comments.
Nether was there two spelling mistakes, so there






Roy.


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## kirkpoore1 (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":pxmh5rrq said:


> BTW the plural of Post Mortem is Posts Mortem.
> 
> Roy.



Hmmm. I thought it was "autopsies".

And here I've been wondering all this time about which of these examples were spelling errors and which were British English.

Kirk
Not from around here...


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

Latin as Latin is one thing but when it moves into common usage things change. Post Mortems would in a literal sense mean After Deaths! Which of course is rubbish.
English has about 3 times as many words an any other language apparently, many copied from other tongues. A common example here is Cul-de-Sac, for a dead end road. Look that up in French!

Roy.


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Digit":187sqi45 said:


> No I don't 'blame' the school Jacob, you're moving the goal posts again, Post Mortems is a corruption of the Latin.


So is "posts mortem", but also nonsense, like making the plural of afterbirth "afters birth"


> Post Mortems meanS after deaths, how many do you get? Unless you accept the Lazarus effect?
> Many things change in the language, so 'blame' is hardly an appropriate word, eg, I was taught Zeebra, I was taught stress as a result of strain etc, I was taught Courts Marshial Martial if you have moved away from original usuage usage I will just have to catch up.


Courts Martial is normal. No it hasn't changed - you were just wrong about posts mortem from the beginning


> As pointed out here.....


By your logic two "tooth brushes" would be (one?) "teeth brush" :lol: 

See spelling corrections in red. 5/10, must try harder.


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## Alf (31 Jan 2012)

Jake":2ndwreq8 said:


> Alf":2ndwreq8 said:
> 
> 
> > paultnl":2ndwreq8 said:
> ...


If uncertain, the speaker could opt for 90 minutes instead...

Interesting - I'd have gone for courts martial every time. Like gins and tonic. Both bits are important, but the court - or the gin - are the really vital bit.


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## Jacob (31 Jan 2012)

Yes gin and tonics don't have enough gin in them IMHO.


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## Digit (31 Jan 2012)

> So is "posts mortem", but also nonsense,



So is Cul-de-Sac in English usage, but it won't alter what I was taught will it?



> By your logic two "tooth brushes" would be "teeth brush"



And by your logic two Sheep would be Sheeps!
And I think 5 out of 10's a bit low!

Roy.


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## bugbear (2 Feb 2012)

Are Digit and Jacob having a "battle royal" about unusual plurals?

:lol: :lol: :lol: 

BugBear


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## Jacob (2 Feb 2012)

Several mouse holes = one mice hole.


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## theartfulbodger (2 Feb 2012)

Once a word from another language enters the English language as an adopted English word then it seems that
(single object)*s* = plural

(post mortem)s

(gin and tonic)s

(cul de sac)s

..irrespective of the rules in the original language.


There's always exceptions which is what makes the English language more fun, and I assume maddeningly difficult for foreigners to learn. Trades Union springs to mind...and I think the plural of Court Martial is Courts Martial, but in English probably should be Martial Court?

Just my take on it.


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## bugbear (2 Feb 2012)

theartfulbodger":116ds5hu said:


> Once a word from another language enters the English language as an adopted English word then it seems that
> (single object)*s* = plural
> 
> (post mortem)s
> ...



It appears my joke(*) was too subtle, so I'll express myself clearly, but non humourously.

In the interesting (but infrequent) case where a composite noun has the noun before the adjective, the plural is formed on the noun, but there are exceptions to even this rule. 

This page has some interesting examples:

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/compounds.htm

BugBear

(*)The plural of "battle royal" is (of course) "battles royal".


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## theartfulbodger (2 Feb 2012)

ahhh! You're more well read than I.

But "a battle royal" is singular though? :mrgreen: That's why we didn't get the joke :mrgreen:


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## Digit (2 Feb 2012)

Yep! Artful, as I said, it's a corruption of the original Latin, things cahnge. As I said, I was taught Zeebra for what is usually Zebra.
But it doesn't alter the fact that British people are losing out to 'them vrom foreign parts' 'cos they are less well educated, according to the CBI, one poster on here, CEO of Sainsbury, some Universities and the Army etc.

Roy.


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## barkwindjammer (2 Feb 2012)

Sweet Jeezus

Quote, from another winge-fest "It's my religiuos upbringing, I can resist anything bar temptation!"

Roy.

Get some woodwork dun !


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## Jacob (2 Feb 2012)

bugbear":2ep42t0b said:


> Just my take on it.



It appears my joke(*) was too subtle, ......[/quote]What joke? I must have missed it. :roll:


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## Digit (2 Feb 2012)

> Quote, from another winge-fest



As Jacob says, if you don't like it, don't read it. and my typing is in between woodworking.

Roy.


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## foxhunter (2 Feb 2012)

One I like:

Is the word YES disappearing from the English language? Absolutely.


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## Digit (2 Feb 2012)

Yep! and I've heard that Exits are on the way out as well.
It's a joke Jacob!

Roy.


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## gregmcateer (2 Feb 2012)

Here you are then, fellahs - A little poem from my mum;

Pronunciation for Foreigners

I take it you already know
Of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough and through.
Well done! And now you wish perhaps
To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word,
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead: it’s said like bed, not bead – 
For goodness sake don’t call it “deed”!
Watch out for meat and great and threat,
(they rhyme with suite and straight and debt).

A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother.
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear,
And then there’s dose and rose and lose – 
Just loo them up – and goose and choose,
And cork and work and card and ward.
And font and front and word and sword,
And do and go and thwart and cart –
Come, come, I’ve hardly made a start!
A dreadful language? Man alive,
I’d mastered it when I was five!

ANON


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## brianhabby (4 Feb 2012)

Had a good one yesterday.

Had a contact from a web review company offering the usual _'guarantees'_ if we advertise with them, that we usually take with a huge pinch of salt. Anyway, part of her email read:



> Free sponsored link witch pushes traffic strait to your web site, its a permanent banner on top of your category



Needless to say we won't be letting that company do any advertising for us.

regards

Brian


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## Digit (4 Feb 2012)

Fast transit by broomstick I trust.
There was one in my local Tesco today, a large banner proclaimed MENS WEAR.

Roy.


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## Losos (5 Feb 2012)

Digit":kwcsef3u said:


> So if I state that all the waiters in my local cafe are Polish that's racism as opposed to an accurate observation?
> Roy.



Roy, Jeff Randall has *twice *in the last month stated that *all* the workers in his local Pret-a-Manger are non UK citizens, in fact his programme last week was interviewing some talking head about the fact that Pret-a-Manger have stated 83% of all their staff are non UK citizens.

So if he can say it on Sky TV and no one has objected then *I think you are pretty safe.*........................but then you knew that any way didn't you :wink: ........ Some people just like to use the 'racism' word because it sounds good and they don't know what it really means :lol:


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## Losos (5 Feb 2012)

brianhabby":15wd37ny said:


> > Free sponsored link witch pushes traffic strait to your web site, its a permanent banner on top of your category



Brian, words fail me, that is truly awful, yet no one seems to care. Still I'm pleased you won't be using them.


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## Digit (5 Feb 2012)

As swear words lose their bite from over useage others seem to move in to take their place Losos, racism seems to have moved to the top of the pole!

Roy.


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## Lowlife (5 Feb 2012)

My favourites are those signs you see while driving along in the summer, advertising Strawberry's, Rasberry's (sic) etc...


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## theartfulbodger (7 Feb 2012)

https://www.rutlands.co.uk/cgi-bin/psPr ... i?promo=53

"with prescision machined aluminium template"

(hammer) #-o (hammer)


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## brianhabby (8 Feb 2012)

They must have read your post artful, they seem to have fixed the webpage  

regards

Brian


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## theartfulbodger (8 Feb 2012)

:mrgreen:


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## whiskywill (9 Feb 2012)

This must be my favourite thread on any forum ......ever. 

It says (almost) everything that I think about the deterioration in the use of English but misses out my pet hate... the disappearance of the word "are".

I hear it every single day on the radio and on television and it's common in newspapers. It even appears on this wonderful forum. 



theartfulbodger":1w9gldkp said:


> There's always exceptions which is what makes the English language more fun,



There ARE always exceptions.


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## Alf (10 Feb 2012)

Take heart, whiskywill; "are" is very much alive and well in Somerset. Generally found shortly after the word "Oo".


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## Digit (10 Feb 2012)

Roy.


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## Benchwayze (12 Feb 2012)

Ah sood it.. I am going into the shop and get on with some hand-*planning* with my Stanley no.5 ... :roll:


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## Digit (12 Feb 2012)

Good moaning, I was pissing by the door....

Roy.


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## Benchwayze (12 Feb 2012)

foxhunter":3nal3c6j said:


> One I like:
> 
> Is the word YES disappearing from the English language? Absolutely.



Now that is amazing!

I discovered on Friday that the word 'innit' is now permissible in Scrabble. Thus, it must be in the OED. That really is the limit for me. I am going to come back in another life as Hermit the Frog :|


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## Richard T (13 Feb 2012)

It's not to do with if it's in the OED or not John, Scrabble, recently, worried about youngsters not being able to do it and therefore not interested in buying it, or playing it and preferring "Cahll of Dooody", - are being encouraged to have it easier with proper names included. 
But then, (for those in the know) "za" has been acceptable for years as a deminishment of Pizza in Australia (ian). 
When you've played as long as I have against Mrs. Doyle - who has a Masters' in Shakespeare studies - one tends to get quite competitive and learn all the possible two letter words. This is my only defence against a girl who has an unhealthy knowledge of permissible middle English. 
Also, we have an advantage with words like "fleam" and "swarf" . Very useful. High scoring compared to "Innit".


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## studders (13 Feb 2012)

Richard T":34qlydds said:


> When you've played as long as I have against Mrs. Doyle - who has a Masters' in Shakespeare studies.....


I used to play, and always lose, against my Mum. For a girl with an interrupted, war time, poor education she didn't arf know a lot of words.


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## Benchwayze (13 Feb 2012)

Richard T":1khdffak said:


> It's not to do with if it's in the OED or not John, Scrabble, recently, worried about youngsters not being able to do it and therefore not interested in buying it, or playing it and preferring "Cahll of Dooody", - are being encouraged to have it easier with proper names included.
> But then, (for those in the know) "za" has been acceptable for years as a deminishment of Pizza in Australia (ian).
> When you've played as long as I have against Mrs. Doyle - who has a Masters' in Shakespeare studies - one tends to get quite competitive and learn all the possible two letter words. This is my only defence against a girl who has an unhealthy knowledge of permissible middle English.
> Also, we have an advantage with words like "fleam" and "swarf" . Very useful. High scoring compared to "Innit".



Thanks Richard.. 

I used to like a game of Scrabble. Somehow I think I will have lost interest then!
We played it a lot before we had the children. And in the RN it was popular, although I remember one guy who caused a 'time' ruling, because he just would NOT get on with his 'turn' taking ages to deliberate on finding that elusive 'go'! Happy days...

Don't forget 'kerf' and 'arris'!


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## Digit (14 Feb 2012)

From Popular Archaeology...

The study, conducted by a team of scientists led by W. Roebroeks of Leiden University, examined and analyzed a sample of red material retrieved from excavations originally conducted during the 1980's at the Maastricht-Belvédère Neanderthal site in the Netherlands. The excavations exposed scatterings of well-preserved flint and bone artifacts that were produced in a river valley during the Middle Pleistocene full interglacial period. During the coarse of the excavation, soil samples were also collected, a typical procedure when excavating a site. Within the soil samples were traces of a reddish material. The samples were subjected to various forms of analyses and experimentation to study their physical properties. They identified the reddish material as hematite, a common mineral form of iron oxide that was used for pigmentation by prehistoric populations.

...it's contag, con, er, it's spreading!

Roy.


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## monkeybiter (14 Feb 2012)

I spotted two....


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## Digit (15 Feb 2012)

Yep!

Roy.


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## Jacob (15 Feb 2012)

Digit":2d241f7k said:


> Yep!
> 
> Roy.


Wrong again!

"Coarse" yes. "Analyzed" is American spelling; correct if it's an American article. "Analyses" is plural of "analysis".

Is this the most boring thread in the universe or what!


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## studders (15 Feb 2012)

Jacob":p621mxxe said:


> Is this the most boring thread in the universe or what!


It lags well behind the, numerous, Rounded Bevel Sharpening threads.


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## Digit (15 Feb 2012)

> Wrong again!



Yes you are Jacob, but I forgive you.

Roy.


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## whiskywill (21 Feb 2012)

Am I the only person who thinks that the hijacking of the word result is so stupid? I believe it originates in football with managers saying things like "We are looking for a result tonight".

Losing 10-nil is a result. A draw is a result. 

Only this morning the new England rugby coach said on the radio, " We have taken two results and if we win on Saturday, we will be happy to take the result".

Absolute gobbledegook, both the result bit and the win bit.


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