# Pretty miffed at the (lack of) response



## donwatson (29 Nov 2020)

I have been simmering for a couple of days now with this problem. A recent request in Scrolling- Scroll Saws > "Replacing tensioning rod for ferm 1007 scroll saw" made me think I could return some of the help I had been shown on this site over the years. I knew I had some pieces that various members had sent me over the years and I checked and there was indeed what was needed so I decided to send it to the OP. My fault, I contacted them and got address and postcode, went to the post office and got a proof of purchase and sent it off with a promise that it would be delivered in 3 days. I posted this information on the forum but since then nothing. No thanks, no nothing.
I should have checked the details of this OP, they had just joined that very day and were only looking for something for nothing. I won't make that mistake again.
Rant over, get back to what you should be doing. lol
take care and stay safe
Don W


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## Doug B (29 Nov 2020)

Don’t let it get to you Don, it happened to me years ago when I sent a chap some chisels foc including postage all I asked was if he could confirm they’d turned up by DM, never heard from him again.
life’s too short to let it get to you just be happy in the knowledge that you’re a decent human being & helped someone out even if they have no manners, sadly there’s a lot of them about.


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## AES (29 Nov 2020)

I can understand your reaction Don. Me too if it happened to me.

But it never has, so far anyway. Perhaps I've just been lucky. The only thing I can suggest is that before doing your good deed in future, you ask yourself "Do I "know" this poster?" - look at his/her profile if necessary. If the name is familiar (from previous posts, etc) then go right ahead. If not perhaps wait a bit.

In my own case loads of members have helped me, and I've helped a few too - "what goes round comes round" and all that. So thanks from me for all your previous good deeds, please don't let the one bad apple in the barrel ruin your faith in all the rest.


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## Awac (29 Nov 2020)

Oh, I understand how this burns, when this happens to me I think of this joke, _sorry to post it here and not in jokes_ but it always helps me to think of it, and I hope it will help you. Just know you are the better person.

A little boy is walking down the street with his Father when they happen to see two dogs humping away. The little boy turns to his Father and asks:
_"Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?"_
The Father who is not unreasonably embarrassed, thinks quickly:
_"Well Son, that dog on the back of the other one has a sore paw, and the other one is helping it home."_
Little boy thinks for a minute then replies:
_"Typical, try to help someone with a good deed and they just end up screwing you"_


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## Daniel2 (29 Nov 2020)

It's true; the internet has allowed these bad apples a wider audience.
Don't let it hinder you from continuing to be who, and how, you are.
And try not to dwell on it, Don.
ATB,
Daniel


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## marcros (29 Nov 2020)

In fairness, he has said thanks now and offered future assistance. He did offer to pay for the postage. 

Maybe life just got in the way of logging on instantly to confirm receipt. Give him the benefit of the doubt. I have plenty of jobs where I think that I must do that when I get a chance and they drag on a few days.


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## D_W (29 Nov 2020)

Been down the same road, don. I'd say 9 out of ten of those types of actions lead to longstanding warm feelings and maybe future exchanges of interesting items from time to time. But similar to you, years ago, I offered someone a Stanley 7 casting and frog when they showed their damaged plane asking for advice on how to fix it. I sent the the frog and casting free and never a peep. I asked them about a month later if they received the casting and frog and all they sent back was a terse message of "of course I did, or I'd have let you know it didn't come".

I learned from that not to send free things to people I don't otherwise know on the board. Not out of spite, but because sometimes you can end up sending things to people who may not really want them that bad.

In my case, the person was a long time forum member who didn't post much, but still around from time to time, and complained they didn't want to spend the cake needed to buy a new plane. Each time they posted after that, all I could think was, "There's the person who can't be bothered to say thanks".

The 9 out of ten other experiences outweigh them by a mile, though.


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## D_W (29 Nov 2020)

Been on the other side of it, too. Someone sent me a box of stuff they couldn't use, though I didn't ask for any of it. They just said they had stuff they'd never use and knew I'd like. It came with a nice letter about where they got it, etc, and it took me four days to open the box and get back to them and say thanks (I did, but with the few days delay). They were pineappled, never explained why, just sent an email that said, "Well, I guess that's that."


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## Spectric (29 Nov 2020)

Hi

That is one very ungrateful person, for someone to go right out of their way and send something via a post office in the Covid crissis I would be have been over the moon. The sad side is that a bad experience like this puts you off helping someone again and that person could be a genuine nice person and this is in my opinion the big issue with sites like Ebay, to many takers.


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## artie (29 Nov 2020)

It is not who you helped, or how you helped.
It is that you helped.
And when you need help it will appear.


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## MikeK (29 Nov 2020)

I've given away tools and bandsaw fences to members of the UKW and I paid the shipping from Germany. While I didn't expect any feedback, I received confirmation of receipt and thanks. Sometimes the confirmation was immediate, and other times it was weeks or months after the item arrived.

Life does get in the way of hobbies, especially now. However, if I had an experience like D_W's, it wouldn't put me off from helping others.


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## RobinBHM (29 Nov 2020)

I have found people on this forum generally to be most helpful -Ive met a few through visiting to collect stuff and theyve all been most genuine people

Its a shame that few negative experiences can sour that feeling -Ive not had that but Im sorry some have.


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## Lons (29 Nov 2020)

There are are always some but they are few and far between, most people are honest and genuine so don't let it spoil your outlook on life Don, what goes around usually comes around.

I'd think everyone on here would applaud your efforts.


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## Blister (29 Nov 2020)

Yep , happened to me as well , Some years ago I was prepaired to donate a lathe , Had a chap say his daughter wanted one and was keen to learn , So They collected , My only request was to show some of the turnings she had made , Some days later the lathe ( That looked like the one I gave away ) was seen on a auction web site , My fault Thinking I was doing someone a good turn
Won't be doing that again

No photos of work ever turned up !


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## Lons (29 Nov 2020)

That really is a reason to be annoyed Blister.


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## Glitch (29 Nov 2020)

Lons said:


> There are are always some but they are few and far between, most people are honest and genuine so don't let it spoil your outlook on life Don, what goes around usually comes around.
> 
> I'd think everyone on here would applaud your efforts.



+1

The OP did get a response eventually, but there was a delay.

The majority of people are good and honest but some will be thoughtless, or take the pee.


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## Sandyn (29 Nov 2020)

Don't beat yourself up about it, you are the better person for doing it. The world is full of greedy selfish devious people, but what goes around comes around. You will be rewarded and the OP will be punished in some way! I hope it doesn't put you off helping others.


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## Jester129 (30 Nov 2020)

There are many generous people on this forum, there are also way more people around that take the 'p'. It is a fact of life, I'm afraid. Maybe it's because we are of the 'older fraternity' and have 'been there' in the past and can remember what it was like, if you see what I mean? All you can do is be who you are, and not change - you've been like it for *x *amount of years, after all!


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## mg123 (30 Nov 2020)

Blister said:


> Yep , happened to me as well , Some years ago I was prepaired to donate a lathe , Had a chap say his daughter wanted one and was keen to learn , So They collected , My only request was to show some of the turnings she had made , Some days later the lathe ( That looked like the one I gave away ) was seen on a auction web site , My fault Thinking I was doing someone a good turn
> Won't be doing that again
> 
> No photos of work ever turned up !


"Good turn", lathe...... was it just me who laughed at that?


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## craigs (30 Nov 2020)

i have given away a few things recently and only had positive responses


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## Nautilus21 (30 Nov 2020)

Blister said:


> Yep , happened to me as well , Some years ago I was prepaired to donate a lathe , Had a chap say his daughter wanted one and was keen to learn , So They collected , My only request was to show some of the turnings she had made , Some days later the lathe ( That looked like the one I gave away ) was seen on a auction web site , My fault Thinking I was doing someone a good turn
> Won't be doing that again
> 
> No photos of work ever turned up !


Something similar happened to me but not on here...Terrible but I can only assume they are in a desperate situation to stoop so low.... take comfort that you were in a better position, had better moral fibre, and bizarrely did help someone who needed it (even if IT wasn’t what they purported IT to be)


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## sawdust1 (30 Nov 2020)

Several years ago on here, i had listed free to collect loads of Furniture and Cabinetmaker mags, and the member who had them, well we have been good friends ever since. And Greggs have done well out of the friendship as well ! So you never know how things turn out.


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## artie (30 Nov 2020)

Jester129 said:


> There are many generous people on this forum, there are also way more people around that take the 'p'. It is a fact of life,


I have to disagree

If you go by the TV and newspapers you will believe that's how the world is.
But my experience of going out and dealing with real people every day is exactly the opposite.


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## Padster (30 Nov 2020)

It seems there was a thanks sent in the end to the OP if slightly delayed.
Personally I have only ever found the people here to be very helpful and I try to be the same if any of my limited knowledge can help...but just in case if you have helped me and felt a simple thank you was needed and I was remiss in sending - I assure you it was not deliberate so Thank You to all who participate here!


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## Marnee (30 Nov 2020)

mg123 said:


> "Good turn", lathe...... was it just me who laughed at that?


No, I did too!


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## donwatson (30 Nov 2020)

So did I .
I have been to the forum and thanked the OP for their response (posted a remarkable 1 minute after I posted here).
I will keep trying to help when I can and will read the posts of the OP before dashing in to help.
take care and stay safe
Don W


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## billw (30 Nov 2020)

artie said:


> If you go by the TV and newspapers you will believe that's how the world is.
> But my experience of going out and dealing with real people every day is exactly the opposite.



I have to battle this every day because my mum believes the Daily Fail.


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## NikNak (30 Nov 2020)

I've been there too. Lent a rocking horse to a friend for her granddaughter. It had taken me months to refurbish from a rotten water soaked unloved and abandoned in the garden toy, back to a lovely toy that any little child would love...







I then got a call nearly 2yrs later asking if i wanted it back. She knew i did as i said it was then going to a nieces daughter. Obviously very embarrassed it was returned very early in the morning (while still dark) no knock, no ring, nothing.... 
When i 'found' it later that day it was in a right state, almost like it had been deliberately thrown, dropped, or whatever. The rockers were coming adrift. It took me best part of 8hrs to re-glue and screw it it back together.

Take a sideways look at it.... not all of a nurses patients are 'nice' people and she might even think 'they deserved it' (for whatever reason they were there for treatment) but she'll do her job to the best of her ability and on to the next patient....

Stay safe people....

Nick


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## Daniel2 (30 Nov 2020)

artie said:


> I have to disagree
> 
> If you go by the TV and newspapers you will believe that's how the world is.
> But my experience of going out and dealing with real people every day is exactly the opposite.



+1 for that @artie 
The number of good people I meet in everyday life far outstrip the baddun's.


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## Sandyn (30 Nov 2020)

Daniel2 said:


> +1 for that @artie
> The number of good people I meet in everyday life far outstrip the baddun's.



There are so many really nice people out there, but if you meet 99 nice people in a day and one really rotten one, which will cause the biggest impact? It's always the bad ones which get the publicity. I think it can bias your view of the world.


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## Phil Pascoe (30 Nov 2020)

I have given stuff and passed stuff on for the cost of the P&P (usually when it's multiple items, it adds up). I have also been given stuff by people who wouldn't even take the P&P for it. What goes around comes around? Quite possibly. I do find it annoying though when people can't even be bothered to drop me an email or message to say what you've sold or given has turned up, though.


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## dingman56 (30 Nov 2020)

donwatson said:


> I have been simmering for a couple of days now with this problem. A recent request in Scrolling- Scroll Saws > "Replacing tensioning rod for ferm 1007 scroll saw" made me think I could return some of the help I had been shown on this site over the years. I knew I had some pieces that various members had sent me over the years and I checked and there was indeed what was needed so I decided to send it to the OP. My fault, I contacted them and got address and postcode, went to the post office and got a proof of purchase and sent it off with a promise that it would be delivered in 3 days. I posted this information on the forum but since then nothing. No thanks, no nothing.
> I should have checked the details of this OP, they had just joined that very day and were only looking for something for nothing. I won't make that mistake again.
> Rant over, get back to what you should be doing. lol
> take care and stay safe
> Don W


 
Hi Don
I apologise for not acknowledging receipt of the item you sent me the same day I received it.I’m getting on a bit and don’t go on my iPad everyday.Im sorry if I offended you.or anyone else on the forum.
I didn’t join to receive freebies from members,I was genuinely looking for advice from fellow woodworkers having spent h.ours trying to source the part I needed,
I feel I have been found guilty without a trial by some members on the forum
However a lot of water has passed under my bridge so I won’t dwell on it
Merry Christmas
dingman56


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## marcros (30 Nov 2020)

c'mon everybody think this thread needs to reach its natural conclusion. honest mistake, no real harm done.

lets talk about some woodworking!


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## Eric The Viking (30 Nov 2020)

Indeed - although my comment had nothing to do with the OP's thread, now removed anyway - Merry Christmas!


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## rafezetter (30 Nov 2020)

dingman56 said:


> Hi Don
> I apologise for not acknowledging receipt of the item you sent me the same day I received it.I’m getting on a bit and don’t go on my iPad everyday.Im sorry if I offended you.or anyone else on the forum.
> I didn’t join to receive freebies from members,I was genuinely looking for advice from fellow woodworkers having spent h.ours trying to source the part I needed,
> I feel I have been found guilty without a trial by some members on the forum
> ...



Dingman56 - I think you might have unfortunately fallen foul of recent events regarding one or two new members whom have been quite rude and or impatient regarding the information they wanted, and treated the membership as though we should be poised waiting for any new member post on a given subject and provide EXACTLY the information the new members wants, in a full and comprehensive breakdown of easy to understand information, within minutes of said post appearing on the forum - which is quite literally what happened a week or two ago and the new member then had the temerity to berate the forum membership as a whole for not jumping to attention and giving he information he or she wanted in a timely fashion!

It seems some new members beleive we are little more than a helpdesk "here to serve" and occasionally treat us with as much disdain.

Some of us are also crotchety old gits (*smile*) and the whole covid lockdown stuff has worn down some members reserves of "play nice" more than others - I hope you will indeed stay - You'll be hard pressed to find a more knowledgeable group of people on most subjects of wood and metal related interests (as well as many others of a general nature); however just as an FYI - don't mention sharpening (of anything) without wearing some form of protective gear, and steer well clear of the Brexit / covid related thread in "Off Topic", unless verbal pugilism is your thing


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## Chris_Pallet (1 Dec 2020)

I would like to add my positive story, 
. 
A gentleman online got in touch to pop over, he literally gave me everything he had in boxes, from briwax to French polish. Then gave me storage boxes if I could use them. 
He was happy they were going to a good home and I use them all the time...


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## JoeS (1 Dec 2020)

Really quite eye opening some of your experiences. Unbelievable not even to get a “thanks”. Says more about wider society than just the internet.


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## Shane1978 (1 Dec 2020)

donwatson said:


> I have been simmering for a couple of days now with this problem. A recent request in Scrolling- Scroll Saws > "Replacing tensioning rod for ferm 1007 scroll saw" made me think I could return some of the help I had been shown on this site over the years. I knew I had some pieces that various members had sent me over the years and I checked and there was indeed what was needed so I decided to send it to the OP. My fault, I contacted them and got address and postcode, went to the post office and got a proof of purchase and sent it off with a promise that it would be delivered in 3 days. I posted this information on the forum but since then nothing. No thanks, no nothing.
> I should have checked the details of this OP, they had just joined that very day and were only looking for something for nothing. I won't make that mistake again.
> Rant over, get back to what you should be doing. lol
> take care and stay safe
> Don W


Don’t take it to heart. I’m a newbie on here and I’m very aware of how much experience you guys have and how much I can learn.. it’s a natural process of passing info (and equipment) down the generations, but you’re right - it must be done with respect. I will remember this post in future and be sure to show me gratitude. FWIW I’m already grateful just to know you’re all here. I don’t know anyone who is into woodworking, so I will be needing you!


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## lungfish (1 Dec 2020)

donwatson said:


> I have been simmering for a couple of days now with this problem. A recent request in Scrolling- Scroll Saws > "Replacing tensioning rod for ferm 1007 scroll saw" made me think I could return some of the help I had been shown on this site over the years. I knew I had some pieces that various members had sent me over the years and I checked and there was indeed what was needed so I decided to send it to the OP. My fault, I contacted them and got address and postcode, went to the post office and got a proof of purchase and sent it off with a promise that it would be delivered in 3 days. I posted this information on the forum but since then nothing. No thanks, no nothing.
> I should have checked the details of this OP, they had just joined that very day and were only looking for something for nothing. I won't make that mistake again.
> Rant over, get back to what you should be doing. lol
> take care and stay safe
> Don W


I gave away a pretty decent scroll saw to a local who wanted it and didn’t have the money, in exchange he said he would come up and help for a 1/2 a day cleaning my workshop. Never heard another word from him even though he’s a local postie and delivers mail here in the area. What a tool.


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## dingman56 (1 Dec 2020)

Spectric said:


> Hi
> 
> That is one very ungrateful person, for someone to go right out of their way and send something via a post office in the Covid crissis I would be have been over the moon. The sad side is that a bad experience like this puts you off helping someone again and that person could be a genuine nice person and this is in my opinion the big issue with sites like Ebay, to many takers.


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## southendwoodworker (1 Dec 2020)

I've had this happen many times in the past in various forums, and it is very frustrating. Sometimes it takes people a while to get back online and post an update, other times they disappear. I give the benefit of the doubt and give time ,but there is always going to be some free loaders. It has made me wary doing stuff like that going forward.

The worst case I had was many years ago I created an operating system for free that could be installed on a digital photo frame, meant you could use the digital photo frame as a full desktop - but with a small screen. I spent hundreds of hours working upon it for free. It was not perfect and required a lot of technical knowledge to use it well. This meant demand for the photo frame became very popular. I started getting loads of support queries, and it started eating up loads of my time, I was puzzled as the support queries started mounting up and people started complaining about me not giving them enough of my time. Eventually I found out that some horrible person had been SELLING it on ebay and made thousands of pounds, and the buyers had thought it was a product that they could get support from me. I was livid. The community was supportive and suggested I put up a donation page and I got a nice number of donations from core people which was motivating, but there was one donation for £2 which got my interest - I then realised that the person who donated me £2 had an email address with the same name as the seller on ebay who had made thousands of pounds free loading off my work. This killed my motivation entirely, I gave up and let the project die. I just didn't have it in me to be exploited like that any more.


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## dingman56 (1 Dec 2020)

Hi
Iwas over the moon at Dons generosity
and I mailed him to thank him.
I think it is time Don posted all my replies to him,the only crime I have committed is I didn’t acknowledge receipt of the item the same day I received it.
I think Don jumped the gun by posting his comments,to soon.
I had sent him numerous mails thanking him..
dingman 56


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## dingman56 (1 Dec 2020)

I am not an ungrateful person
I think Don jumped the gun with his post
I have sent numerous mails thanking Don for his generosity if he would kindly post them.
Im not as quick of the mark as some others with my email skills

dingman 56


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## donwatson (3 Dec 2020)

Thanks for your mails dingman56. If I could get a Moderator to open my mailbox and post them here I would, can this be done ?? I have not received any mail from you except the 2 above this post and the mail on page 2.
Don W
EDIT Would you like to post the emails you sent to me on this forum


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## Lons (3 Dec 2020)

It's a shame this ended up as a thread when clearly there's been some miscommunication following a very generous gift from the OP. Hopefully it doesn't develop into an argument.

I've given away loads of things though mostly local and have always been thanked which is really important, I've also been extremely lucky to have been on the receiving end most notably years ago I was gifted a beautiful little watchmakers lathe, Cowells ME90 with loads of accessories virtually brand new and worth a lot of money all because I'd done the guy a few favours, I was gobsmacked and his only condition was that I used it and don't sell.
More recently an old, very good quality cycle in as new condition and an unused Audi bike rack that still sells for £500 so I try wherever possible to pass things forward.
There are some amazingly generous people out there alongside a minority of ars*****s.


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