# Retirement options



## artie (1 Mar 2021)

Years ago when I was really working, 100 or more hours per week, I always thought I would retire to a 9 to 5 job.

But around 10 years ago pensions were performing so bad, I cashed out and kind of semi retired, doing enough to pass the time.

Next year I'll have more options and less need to work.

Problem is, all my life I never knew what I wanted to do and still don't.

I could carry on as I am, I could work less, or I could do something different.

I would like to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning.


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## doctor Bob (1 Mar 2021)

Watching with interest.
I'm 55 and want to go in 5 years time. I'll end up as a sleeping partner I expect, maybe 1 day a week.
I'm already looking forward to it.
One of the things I want to do is walk the uk coastline, maybe in 2 -3 month intervals over x number of years.
I have numerous home projects too big to take on whilst working.
I would also like to build another house, subject to planning on some land I have.
what with dogs and a secondary smaller business, I think retirement will be busy for me.

When I was a kid my mates Dad built a full size areplane in his garage, that might be fun.


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## AES (1 Mar 2021)

I sympathise artie. I'm 75 now and finally retired at age 69. But that was only for health reasons and if not for that, I'd probably be still working now, albeit less hours (I worked on a self-employed project basis, so would simply have chosen projects more carefully/less frequently/generally a bit nearer home rather than "anywhere and everywhere").

The problem is that if you really "loved" your work (as I did, in general) it's VERY hard to replace that "strange" feeling of satisfaction after a job well done - not to mention the money of course!

What I've done, with some success (not complete success mark you) is to take up:

A) More time in, plus expansion of my workshop (both a bit of metal and wood in my case);

B) Singing in a couple of local choirs (or at least, until Covid!!);

C) Bits and pieces of home and garden maintenance;

D) Writing (on a semi-professional basis).

AND an VERY understanding partner is IME, absolutely vital. Retirement, forced or otherwise, really does change your life (and your partner's).

Please note my comment above about "not with complete success". I still miss my professional life, sometimes more so than at others. BUT although the specific "hobbies" I've listed above obviously won't appeal to everyone, I think it IS worth pointing out the of the above 4 items, 2 are more-or-less "solitary/indoor" occupations, and 2 involve meeting other people on a fairly regular basis (or at least home maintenance and choral singing both did until Covid)!

I'll be very reluctant to try and advise anyone on a definitive basis, but to me the "key" (if there is one in my case) is that the above 4 main things involve a mix of both "solitary" and "collective" items (especially with new people). So I think it is important to concentrate on more than one activity/hobby, AND to be sure that whatever items you choose do get you into that sort of mix.

And don't forget that "one thing CAN also lead to another" - e.g. I joined this Forum to learn stuff (and still do). But I now also get some satisfaction in passing on through the Forum "stuff" I've learnt (often the hard way)!

HTH mate - IME it ain't easy!


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## eribaMotters (1 Mar 2021)

You are so correct, you have to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. You cannot revert to doing very little after being so busy. I've learnt the hard way.
I taught secondary school for 35 years and was mentally and physically knackered. Up at 5:15am, cycle to work for 6:15am no lunch break, clubs and meeting till 4:15pm at earliest and then home for a couple of more hours work. Added to this weekend schoolwork was a must, just to stay afloat. Towards the end and doing 60hrs a week plus holiday stuff I had no energy to do anything else and jumped into early retirement at 56 years old.
We started on a 2 year plan, sold the house, moved north, took on bungalow refurb and remodel, an 80m2 extension, made fitted and freestanding furniture, landscaped the garden, took up crown green bowls [love it], managed a couple of 4 week breaks in France with the caravan and then planned for 2020 and lots of time away. Keeping busy was great, doing stuff we wanted to do for us. 
The problem then came, Covid. I have been bored rigid. Every job I could have done was completed for March 2020.
Plan carefully is my advice.

Colin


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## artie (1 Mar 2021)

doctor Bob said:


> One of the things I want to do is walk the uk coastline,


I had made a start on walking right around NI, I started on the north coast, but it's on hold now for a while.


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## Roland (1 Mar 2021)

What to do? There’s no single “right“ answer, except that doing nothing isn’t good for your prospects. 


artie said:


> ... I never knew what I wanted to do and still don't ...


My personal philosophy is that, if you keep your eyes open, then something will present itself. When we plan we tend to have a narrow focus. When we keep our eyes open we get wider experiences. I expected to plan my retirement. In practice my working life came to a sudden dead stop before I got around to planning anything. As I recovered I felt as though I was picking up the threads of the life I had before education and career got it the way. I realised that I could pick and choose which to continue with. Model aircraft I dropped. Guitar maintenance and building I picked up again. I also did some odd manufacturing jobs for my son’s employer, making sample products where small volumes made them difficult to contract out. Recently I’ve got involved with my local community, and that now takes up one day per week of my time.

One of the strengths that recently retired people have is the experience of making things happen. Have you watched Robert Di Nero in The Intern? There are life skills which are transferable. A friend of mine started with Citizens Advice. He said that he spent his time helping people add up their weekly spending. He was good at being patient and sympathetic. Another friend volunteers for a food bank. She’s good at fund raising, and she’s good shopping, buying food and groceries.


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## Woody2Shoes (1 Mar 2021)

I think that a "portfolio" of activities is good. Stuff that involves human interaction is good. Something that involves learning new mental/physical skills is good.
Helping people with disabilities, helping with local sports club, volunteering for stuff, etc etc


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## Dee J (1 Mar 2021)

Currently paused working life and returned to being an art student... After that, who knows.


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## Sandyn (1 Mar 2021)

You sound as if you have been working so hard you possibly haven't had time to develop hobbies. You should try some new things, some might take your interest. You need to have lots of interests in different things, hobbies for different seasons. Challenge yourself to learn some new skills. What hobbies do you have?


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## dannyr (1 Mar 2021)

I've kept on with hobbies and sports/exercise in retirement, and combining both on the allotment and in the workshop, but the new thing for me was volunteering in the medical sector - starting with local hospitals and then national organisations like BHF and NHS_NIHR (in both cases on the research side) -- there's a lot to learn, give and it's great 'brain gym' -- also a good answer for "and what do you do?" -- see for example www.involve.org.uk. -- (You may get the occasional expenses covered but don't think of this for income).

the virus has made this seem even more relevant.


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## AES (1 Mar 2021)

@artie: I must agree 100% with the above posts - those that talk about volunteering in various ways. Also don't forget the "Mens' Sheds" organisation (which we don't have here BTW).

All the above point toward one of the things I consider VERY important, i.e. meeting & "working with" new people. IMO it's important that whatever your interests are (or become), that you don't restrict yourself to something solitary with no interactions with others.

Again, HTH.


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## Blackswanwood (1 Mar 2021)

I wish I hadn’t read your question Artie as I’m trying to avoid thinking about something similar.

Several of my colleagues/friends have opted to retire relatively early over the past couple of years. One hates it - interestingly he was the one who moaned the most about work - but he misses it. The others have flourished and look younger. My wife thinks I should set a plan to do as they have done but I prefer to carry on as long as I find it to be satisfying and deal with it when/if that changes.

It’s definitely a first world dilemma but a real one!


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## Terry - Somerset (1 Mar 2021)

I retired early (58 years old) about 8 years ago. This is how I got into woodworking as I figured daytime TV would be full of the second rate and repeats of the second rate. 

Some days I may spend 5 hours or more in the workshop, sometimes none - depends on weather and other things going on. Some travel, walking, winters somewhere warmer, friends, family etc.

But the main challenge was one of mindset - at work focus is on effectiveness, efficiency, profits etc - it now takes as long as it takes to produce something I am happy represents my best.

I also realised hat there are socially conventional ways to contribute in retirement - charities, volunteering, school govenor, etc etc. But I came to the conclusion that if these rock your boat" - fine. If they don''t, do what you want and enjoy. 

You may have spent the last 40 years doing what others expect of you - you have a window of indeterminant length between retirement and ........ to do whatever YOU want.


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## D_W (1 Mar 2021)

make something well and sell it. It will keep you involved with something stimulating and have you working to a standard. 

For 40 years, my mother had a part time business, and when she retired early (her choice - she retired at 54), she just did more of her business. But not tons more, just still part time (like 1000 hours a year, maybe - but she'd been doing that on top of a full time job, so it just felt like fun to her - she could indulge in some things, like trying to sell designs or faffing with online selling which can be a time soak if you sell something that goes quickly locally in person). 

That's my suggestion. Have something you want to do well, but that doesn't feel like it will have you peeing into the breeze when you don't want to pee. 

This past year at 72, my mother started losing her memory at an accelerated rate, and I don't know how long she'll live, but she can no longer keep track of things for her business (we noticed the start of this a couple of years ago). Not being able to get up and do this stuff hasn't been good for her, but she had 18 good years in retirement, and never went through the depression and "why am I here, what is my purpose" kind of stuff. She also went to the gym and got a horse (the latter sounds dopey -she had a horse as a kid and always wanted another one, and can/could ride like a movie stuntman considering she's an old woman).


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## mikej460 (1 Mar 2021)

I retired at 60 having had a successful career that as I got into my 50's became a very heavy cross. I hated the commuting and the politics but when I did retire I found I missed the people and the challenge (and to a lesser extent the money), which surprised me; however that began to disappear after about 6 months. Anyway, as I accelerate to 'proper retirement age' I am more at peace with the decision as I have filled my days with house renovation, gardening, running my smallholding, volunteering in the village and now woodworking. I am one of those retired blokes that doesn't know 'how I had time to work'. My only regret is that I've filled my day so much that I can't find time to go walking, which I really enjoy. But I do so enjoy getting up at 8am and spending an hour over breakfast before starting 'work'.

So my advice would be to think hard about what you want out of the rest of your life, what excites or interests you. Think about the times you've thought 'if only' and write it down.


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## D_W (1 Mar 2021)

My mother experienced the same thing as you mentioned above - but it took about a year for it to wear off, and she was hard on my dad (who also retired at 54). He was ready to get a part time job behind the register at a golf course (so that he could play for free) and she was ready to work her part time job 1000 hours a year (her own business, not really a "job") and come up with 2000 hours a year that she and my dad would do, including completely re-landscaping and cleaning a full acre of hilly land covered with ornamentals, a fish pond, etc, and working over a large house and two freestanding garages. 

My dad had other ideas and there was a lot of friction. After a year, that "border collie chewing on their knuckle joint" thing wore off with my mother and she ended up getting a different group of friends than her work friends as she started to realize that the work common bond was the thing they shared, but not much else. 

19 years later, dad still works 1 1/2 days a week at a golf course, but the most strenuous thing he does there is move carts and plug them in at the end of the day. The rest of the time is just gabbing with people he mostly already knew.


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## RobinBHM (1 Mar 2021)

My Dad retired from his job as a financial director in 1986 and died in 2020

34 years of retirement!


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## cowtown_eric (2 Mar 2021)

The Japanese have a word for a reason to get up in the morning...I think it is ikigai

My 30 yr time in Calgary with the phone constantly ringing dropped off a tad with the plummeting oil prices, and then with covid, it totally slowed and has stopped x 3 months. No more balancing jobs/home, finances ARRGHHH

I'm 69 and a tool junky, so now that my makerspace worshop has closed because of covid, I can no longer fill in my time by fixing the machines thee the tyros trash, introducing the newbies to hand tools etc. I wake up, late, have the coffee, check the email then go searching for tools to sell (no shortage of them) then floggin them, and meeting other beginners and helping them out. (takes an experienced cabinetmaker to know what a lamello invis system is!)

I'm also doing some of the roundtoits that I'm sure we all have, and going over a tad to the darkside with tuning up metalworking lathes and skills.

The inactivity has added a few pounds around the waste, and tool boxes that were not previously heavy now are....what more can I say!

My wife is telling me that is the universe telling me It's time to retire,, but I ain't there yet. and don't really want to be there, as long as she's till working her butt off working and creating a "honey do " list . 

IKIGAI

Eric


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## Doodahdebs (2 Mar 2021)

You need a PMA - positive mental attitude. Think of this as a fantastic opportunity. For the first time in life you can steer your own ship with less constraints. The lack of structure is daunting so, if you need it, make your own. As to what to do, my advise would be relax and follow your curiosity.


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## Puggers (2 Mar 2021)

I retired early a couple of years ago by choice but driven by a relentless workload that was preventing me from relaxing or sleeping properly. That said, I enjoyed most aspects of my work bar primarily the politics and of course ever increasing expectations across my wider peer group, which was becoming unsustainable.
Apart from a regular and decent income, my fear was missing the interaction, problem solving through the team and ironically given the workload thrust on me, being “needed”, relied upon and trusted.
I realised within days that I wasn’t really needed that much as my replacement was going to do a great job in their own right, albeit differently to me and with a steep learning curve but I was chuffed at being part of their selection process and I delayed leaving for a few weeks to help settle them in.
I’ve done a couple of short term bits of unrelated work since and have some lined up but the buzz is having that choice rather than what I’m actually doing although it won’t replace what I did or with the people I worked with - it’s hard not to compare but I still throw myself into it knowing it’s short term.
We also relocated back towards my wife’s family in North Yorkshire and have a fairly large chunk of work to do on the house once we can nail down some contractors for the main bits and so in the meantime I’m refitting the workshop, constantly tinkering with it and planning the wider works whilst trying to learn about my new area without being able to travel!
I won’t lie, occasionally I’ll just watch some TV I’ve recorded during the day and still find it hard not to try and plan things as my work life dictated that mindset but I can now afford to let plans slip and it doesn’t matter much.
I need to stay mentally active and sometimes think “s**t, what am I going to do next week” but something always comes up that I can get into.
My wife still works (from home) so I need to respect her time and need for quiet but otherwise I don’t regret it but it does take adjustment that I found didn’t come naturally but I worked hard at.
If you can afford it, it takes pressure of a bit and most people I knew who had already taken the leap said I’d find I’d spend less. That’s certainly been true and not simply due to travel restrictions.
I suspect when we can get out more, my other hobbies will take up more time which was the whole reason for taking the plunge in the first place.
Don’t rush your decision but certainly think about what you want with your time and whether on balance that’s worth what you’ll be giving up by no longer working.
For me, with a couple of wobbles along the way, I’m relieved I did it.
Best of luck.


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## Robbo60 (2 Mar 2021)

AES said:


> @artie: I must agree 100% with the above posts - those that talk about volunteering in various ways. Also don't forget the "Mens' Sheds" organisation (which we don't have here BTW).
> 
> All the above point toward one of the things I consider VERY important, i.e. meeting & "working with" new people. IMO it's important that whatever your interests are (or become), that you don't restrict yourself to something solitary with no interactions with others.
> 
> Again, HTH.


Dead right. The ONLY thing I miss about work is people. Colleagues or customers. Luckily I play golf three times a week so have plenty of interaction there


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## planesleuth (2 Mar 2021)

lol There are 4 options for retirement because all old dinks have very little imagination and so follow the crowd. 1. The lower class option; claim even more benefits than you did before and spend the rest of your days watching the tele. 2. Working class; spend most of your days in your shed avoiding the missus and trying to recreate the past. 3. Middle class; trawling around the countryside in your camper vans and vintage cars getting on everyone's nerves and trying to recreate the past. Upper class spending your days talking about your mental health and setting up charitable institutions that no one else gives a poke about. Good luck with the option you choose. The only limiting factors are how much money you rammed into your pension and your failing health (which of course, again, no one actually gives a poke about), they just want to make sure they feature in your will.


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## Keith 66 (2 Mar 2021)

I sort of retired last spring. After being self employed most of my life & working a lot on my own I ended up working in a school as a D&T technician, at times it was a great job & at others horrible. A long term injury was getting to the point where i couldnt do the heavy work anymore & I was lucky through mums legacy to be in a position that i could pack it in.
It helps if you have stuff to do, I never stop. 
I dont see it as in the above post "You try to recreate the past", I have gotten into musical instrument making something that a few years ago i would never have thought of, I do that, i garden, grow stuff, brew beer, sail & row. Most of this is done with my good lady who shares the same interests. Everyday is a schoolday!


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## pils (2 Mar 2021)

@artie having only just noticed your (custom) "Career Title", I think you should be satisfied you have sufficient humour to take on the world.


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## Anthraquinone (2 Mar 2021)

My wife and I retired 13 years ago from jobs we both liked. Eventually corporate bs for both of us and and for me the Health and Safety system as well drove us out. Luckily we both had final salary pensions through no skill on our parts it was just what happened if you worked for a large company or the NHS. 

What worked for me in retirement was to completely cut off from the previous life and start a new one. My wife wrote a text book base on her university career. Once that was finished lots of hobbies and more travel - taking my wife to some of the places I had been when I worked. The best thing about retirement is being able to do what you want when you want. If it is rainy, cold and windy when we wake up why not have a cup of coffee and read in bed together for an hour of so. The jobs will wait for a few hours or days.

We did think about volunteering but the organizations wanted us to commit to certain hours/days each week - I totally understand that - they needed to know when they would have staff etc but that did not fit with our new philosophy of doing what we wanted when we wanted so that idea did not work out

Everyone is an individual and what works for us would not work for others. Retirement gives you a choice to do what you want when you want. Relax, do not worry too much, and make the most of what years you have left. In the UK, once we get back to a normal life, the *U3A is a brilliant organisation* for retirees with lots to do and new people to meet.


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## Amateur (2 Mar 2021)

A lot depends on the person.
In general we work for money, despite what myths folk come up with.
I've heard people waffle on that you have to be happy in your job...but sometimes happy jobs don't pay the mortgage or feed the kids.
While its fine to say sod it and open an aerobics class in Timbuktu, that niggle of getting older, no pension and how you will cope in retirement keeps popping into your head.
If you stop working too late you will regret the time you lost by not retiring years before.
If you retire too early you will end up working more hours than when you were at work.
Some folk like the money. They get hooked on it. So continue to work.
At 60 years old friends I knew requested pension statements every six months. Then sat working out their pensions, obsessed, calculator buttons throwing of steam and that strained look of concentration mixed with constipation on their faces.
Should I stay or should I go.? They asked.
I'm going.....then,..no I'm staying. 
Another six months will give me an extra ten quid a week pension money.
The majority stayed.....till the next month at least, then repeated the process driven subconsciously by the smell of all that lolly, and how they would spend it.
I've seen a few friends retire telling us all down the pub how they will spend their retirement. 
The holidays, the new car. 
Sadly many lose their partners, or they themselves become sick.
Life's a lottery.
Everyone is different.

No one can plan for retirement, for when retirement comes other challenges unknown to us enter our lives, and what's left we fit round those challenges as our retirement dreams.

Good luck


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## Gant (2 Mar 2021)

I retired a year ago after 32 years in pharmaceutical research, a high stress, big budget job with long hours and loads of travel. Immediately I stopped work, COVID-19 messed everything up and some of my plans are on hold, and my father’s death didn’t help. But I took a woodworking course and took up this game, and have got myself a job one day per week delivering sausages to pay for tools and wood. That with birdwatching, the allotment and mother moving house I am really struggling to find time to do what I want. 

So do I miss my career? Yes, like a fish misses it’s bicycle. Not for one minute have I regretted leaving. As long as you have plans, go for it.


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## Derek Cohen (Perth Oz) (2 Mar 2021)

Planning for retirement should take place many, many years before the actual event. 

I frown when I hear someone say, "I am waiting until I retire to do woodworking/travel/knitting/navel gazing/whatever". Retirement is not something one starts, as if it were a new job; it is something one continues, transitions into gradually or increasingly, it is an extension of ones' existing interests.

The problem is that some simply do not have interests outside their daily job, and then hit a wall or take up what ever is offered to them ... and generally struggle with it as they lack both interest and passion. I recall my father, an award-winning architect, retiring at 71 years to read cowboy books and watch sport on TV until he was 101. He knew little of the world outside his own. Had not developed a passion in anything that he could do for himself. I shake my head in horror. My mother, a journalist, writer and art-gallery owner, continued going this until a stroke in her late 80s, and then consulted in art until her 90's. She remained a socially active person aware of the news and world politics. She passed away a few months ago aged nearly 96. Stuck in her apartment owing to Covid, and nearly blind, she continued to explore the world of art and make new friends via the Internet. 

I am now 71, work as a clinical psychologist, and plan to "retire" in 4 years. What this means is that I shall consult one day each week via Zoom to outlying areas in Oz offering specialist services in child development. The remainder of my time I shall spend more time designing and building furniture. Perhaps sell some? Also travel even more. However, none of this is new. I've been doing it all for decades. I always say that I take my retirement in advance, and when I can. We could be more comfortable financially if we had saved instead, but I just do not wish to get to "retirement age" (whatever that means), and not be able to then do all the things I waited to do. Life does not wait for you. Find your passion now.

Regards from Perth

Derek


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## D_W (2 Mar 2021)

I guess the question I'd have is was your dad happy doing that? I like my work, my mother liked hers - both her job and her part time business - I'm sure she'd do it into her 80s if her memory would've lasted. 

My dad, on the other hand, could work 4 hours every other day at a golf course and make nothing of the other days and be totally happy. 

Idle time in the last year as memory issues have made things too difficult for my mother have not been good for her (my dad would've been happy as a lark, but he obviously has a budding carer role, now). 

A golf job for my dad wasn't planned in retirement - golf was. He's (both parents) incredibly cheap and the idea of working 10 or 12 hours a week to golf another 20 free is his idea of paradise, but he doesn't try to get better at golf and never took it seriously. He just goes out and plays. Someone who had a lifetime of achievement would think he's an silly person, and not recognize that he's far more contented and stable than them. 

I think as time goes on and we're constantly tied in to things, people will have less and less ability just to "be" and be happy with themselves rather than neurotic. My mother's father continued physical work into retirement, probably 25 hours of work a week cutting and splitting firewood, a little less in the winter. He said it "cleared" his head, but I also remember that he had the ability to sit in a chair after dinner for hours, TV and lights off, awake, worrying about nothing and being content. I could never do that. Neither could my mother (his daughter). 

Dad's dad was a public official, and also owned a farm (common back then). When he retired, I used to wonder how everyone always knew him as I never knew him to do much other than sit at local club sporting events. And not professional events - he'd take a radio and a folding chair and go to the community park and watch slow pitch softball. If the yankees were on, then he'd listen to the yankees. 

Most people in his profession would've said he "did nothing" in retirement (his farm had gone to rent by then - he had no money spending or travel interests, either). He wanted to listen to sports and watch sports. He was also one of the happier and more contented people I know because like my mother's father, he'd gotten away from thinking there were things he had to do based on the expectations of anyone else. 

(This western thing must be a male western society thing, though. Dad spent a good part of his "nothing" days the first few years renting westerns and watching a western channel on TV, and my FIL did that for a while, too. Both have settled into things more unique to them (sports and following finance, respectively), but both are content). The only person not content with what my parents do is my wife, who thinks they should be obligated to offer assistance or visit or whatever to us on a regular basis (we're 4 hours away). I cannot convince her that it's not our place to obligate my parents into anything. Her parents aren't more available, but they suggest often they will be and that seems to be enough).


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## Derek Cohen (Perth Oz) (2 Mar 2021)

David, my comment was to the OP, who wrote ...



> Problem is, all my life I never knew what I wanted to do and still don't...
> 
> I would like to have a reason to get out of bed in the morning.



Was my father content reading the same cowboy books over and over? He did spend a lot of time finding fault with the world. I would not have called him a contented man. This was a highly successful and creative architect in his day. Earlier, he had been a Rhodes Scholar. He did not stop because he wanted to - everyone has a life span, and the younger generation went to younger architects. Work/expression for him was all or nothing, and in the end it was nothing.

My advice is that, if one's life work is coming to an end, seek a new path for one's juices. It can be an extension of what is, it can be a new development of what was, or it can be the continuation of a hobby already there.

Regards from Perth

Derek


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## Phil Pascoe (2 Mar 2021)

I remember years ago my cousin doing some sort of motivation course and coming back and saying one thing that stuck in his mind (then mine). The lecturer asked them in turn what their aims in life were .......... then asked them what they were doing to work towards those aims that day - which of course in every case was nothing.

I think much depends on the person in retirement - my wife works with two people in their early fifties and says they are are both old, and she doesn't think of me as old and I'm disabled and sixty seven.

Citizen's Advice was mentioned before - a relative was looking forward to working with them, as she felt she had a lot to offer. (She's a very clever and kind lady.) She went for an interview and they asked what her employment history was. She told them she'd been a lifelong teacher and head teacher. The interviewer said she'd been very lucky and she said no, she'd worked hard for her degree, her post graduate qualifications and throughout her career - luck had nothing to do with it. They turned her down out of hand as they said there was no place at the CAB for people with attitudes like that .


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## D_W (2 Mar 2021)

Derek Cohen (Perth Oz) said:


> David, my comment was to the OP, who wrote ...
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Derek, you will know much more about what makes people unhappy than not, and if no good information is known about a particular case, what the odds are. 

I couldn't glean from your post whether or not your father was happy, but you've illuminated that. My grandfather on my dad's side held political office as well as a few management jobs at defense contractors (a feat for a man with 9 kids at home and a wife who was off her rocker - she was a sweet woman, but crippled by worry her entire life). 

I think it's popular to find fault with the world these days, and it's a trap that robs us of being happy with what's right in front of us. As you described your dad unaware of what's going on outside of his bubble - sometimes that's happiness, and sometimes it's a recipe for discontent due to lack of familiarity with what you're angry about - or realistic expectations). 

My grandfathers in both cases moved into their own bubbles - the paper told them enough about the rest of their world and they had the opposite reaction - they were entitled to live in their bubble and be pleased. 

It's hard to know what'll make someone go. Both of my grandfathers worked like bonkers when they were in the "main sequence" of their lives, they were born in a time when you were to fear idle time and knew your days were limited. 20-25 hours a week of firewood cutting for my mother's father was more or less 1/3rd time or less vs. his working life. 

We're PA germans, so the notions may be different than yours. If you "push the plow" as your dad did until he's 71, then expectations from others can blow away like a fart in the wind if someone else doesn't like it, and then happiness and contentment is really the only question. Some of our friends come with more family involvement, and when someone retires (Especially if involuntarily eliminated from a corporate position), then they often feel pressure to keep performing for other people. I think that's sad (actually, it's pitiful) _unless _ that's what makes said person happy. 

Viewing through the lens of a PA dutchy background, post-retirement meddling in the younger generation's business would be considered shameful, and leaving an egg for the next generation obligatory. Mother's father left us abruptly (literally while eating lunch at 79 between cutting trees). Her mother let us know they wouldn't have done a thing different, fought until her second to last day, and one evening said "i'm ready to go" and was gone within hours. They bristled at anyone else's expectations of them above and beyond family obligations. 

I've heard a term for this. "downrounding". "Yes, your grandfather was the hardest worker I ever met. But I have no idea why he wasted his retirement cutting and splitting firewood. what a waste. When I was a kid, he had 15 hands and could've built an empire if he'd have kept going. He should have _____ and would've done better if he wasn't so stubborn". 

He was confident enough to dismiss them. 

But whether or not it's achievement or lack of it, he knew exactly what he wanted to do in retirement - that part was, as you say, worked into in stages. 

I find the people who get canned from private jobs and still have their motor running (thus they slid into volunteer positions and make things difficult for everyone else, stirring up trouble, refusing to sit and watch for a while but rather trying to unseat everyone and everything) far worse than those who flip off the switch.


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## D_W (2 Mar 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> I remember years ago my cousin doing some sort of motivation course and coming back and saying one thing that stuck in his mind (then mine). The lecturer asked them in turn what their aims in life were .......... then asked them what they were doing to work towards those aims that day - which of course in every case was nothing.
> 
> I think much depends on the person in retirement - my wife works with two people in their early fifties and says they are are both old, and she doesn't think of me as old and I'm disabled and sixty seven.
> 
> Citizen's Advice was mentioned before - a relative was looking forward to working with them, as she felt she had a lot to offer. (She's a very clever and kind lady.) She went for an interview and they asked what her employment history was. She told them she'd been a lifelong teacher and head teacher. The interviewer said she'd been very lucky and she said no, she'd worked hard for her degree, her post graduate qualifications and throughout her career - luck had nothing to do with it. They turned her down out of hand as they said there was no place at the CAB for people with attitudes like that .



I had a coworker once who lined me out as I wasn't moving forward that fast. She asked if I wanted to bump up further and faster. I said "yes, I do". I got an ear-ringing lecture from her "if you wanted to do that, you'd be doing that".

Most of those motivational speakers are con artists and they are fodder for hypomanic middle and upper management to irritate employees in the idea that a company full of chiefs with the authority of indians would just be fantastic.

The risk of a lack of self-examination is setting people down a path they don't really want to go down - that's not that great. 

The interviewers for CAB (unfamiliar with that) sound like duds. Getting bounced by dumb interviewers isn't really a loss - it's a good indication that the job was a bad fit and sometimes a loss is a good one.


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## Retired (2 Mar 2021)

Hi,

I retired from active conflict in 2000 aged 53 and was glad to walk down the works yard for the last time from an highly stressful job.

My wife and I planned for retirement when we first married so paid into my final salary pension scheme meaning now in retirement we're far better off than whilst grafting for a living. We both have hobbies and have had lots of interests all our lives even from childhood; work got in the way but now we're free to graft doing what we like and are making the most of it. So many people retire then drop dead the day after only ever had work in their lives which is truly sad.

I enjoy leaving my comfort zone to try anything new which grabs my attention; for years I adopted restoring vintage valve radios during winter and enjoyed the hobby. During warmer weather we have a detached bungalow and gardens which are high maintenance so I'm forever busy; last year really flattened me as I completely removed a 60' long huge hedge including stumps and roots it being incredibly hard work but I managed to complete it just as winter arrived.

Last year I learned Tig welding aluminium having only ever arc welded steel for over 50 years it was a lot more difficult than I imagined; I rebuilt a scrap Suffolk Colt petrol mower only to find the petrol tank to leak hence the Tig welding; I decided to make a new aluminium tank from scratch and the first tank I made involved domed ends so I learnt how to metal spin aluminium breaking a rib in the process due to the amount over leverage required on the long tool handle; I succeeded with both metal spinning and Tig welding.

I've created a wildflower meadow at the top of our very steep garden which many walkers along the lane stop to admire and ask how it was created some taking pictures; I've restored lots of machines and I've made lots of our furniture both fitted and free standing; I enjoy all aspects of wood/metal work; I've learned how to veneer and French polish too; I'm awaiting warmer weather allowing me into the workshop where I want to have a go at making a brazing machine using a 1,950W commercial micro wave transformer also I want to do work with induction heating; I've already gathered the components but it's too cold to play out at the moment. I've just made a cyclone extractor though because a week ago it did become milder I also rotavated the meadow and broadcast new wild flower seeds.

Because it's been so cold I've just taken up doing a 1,000 piece jigsaw which I find very interesting indeed in fact I'll buy more jigsaw's to pass away the terrible weather days.

In short there aren't enough hours in a day and we're both looking forward to warmer weather then we can move around without feeling frozen. We're never bored we've just watched how jigsaws are made on YouTube.

Never be afraid to try something new but do something to keep busy; many are selling their homes and moving into flats but we never will we don't want to move into a "God's waiting room".

I'm 73 and can run rings round many half my age because I don't sit day in day out watching someone kick a ball around on TV; I'd much rather do a jigsaw.

Here's just an example of how I enjoy retirement;






Made about a week ago; my new cyclone trolley.




The cyclone almost complete but it's turned cold again to play out.




I'm now doing a 1,000 piece jigsaw here it's all set up; note wainscot paneling I made and above it I installed a coffered ceiling.




At 73 I'm still grafting but I do tire a bit more these days; here's one of the laurel root balls I took out last year; it must weigh over a ton and all on my own using 24 tons of hydraulic jack pressure to break it free then a 2,500lb winch to drag it out of the way; I finally got rid of this last one just as winter arrived breaking it up and taking it to our local tip.




Another new hobby I'm working on; pyrography.




Here's the new front porch I made and installed.




Two new aluminium petrol tanks with the original steel tank; metal spinning; Tig welding and my first attempt at panel beating. I can't wat for the weather to improve; I've worked out in all weather but now I'm being a bit more careful with my health after a lifetime of grafting.

Kind regards, Colin.


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## Geoff_S (2 Mar 2021)

A few years ago I had to go and see my GP. Nothing serious, all was well.

However, whilst there, she explained to me that she was going to get involved in something called "Men's Sheds". She explained that the purpose of the organisation was to help retired men who had maybe lost their way and needed help in understanding how to make the best of retirement and thereby create new meaning to their life.

She asked me if I would like to come along? Of course I would! I explained that I would be happy to help and be more than happy to share what I did
to make my retirement a wonderful thing.

Apparently I had misunderstood. 

The invite was withdrawn.


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## Alpha-Dave (2 Mar 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> I remember years ago my cousin doing some sort of motivation course and coming back and saying one thing that stuck in his mind (then mine). The lecturer asked them in turn what their aims in life were .......... then asked them what they were doing to work towards those aims that day - which of course in every case was nothing.
> 
> I think much depends on the person in retirement - my wife works with two people in their early fifties and says they are are both old, and she doesn't think of me as old and I'm disabled and sixty seven.
> 
> Citizen's Advice was mentioned before - a relative was looking forward to working with them, as she felt she had a lot to offer. (She's a very clever and kind lady.) She went for an interview and they asked what her employment history was. She told them she'd been a lifelong teacher and head teacher. The interviewer said she'd been very lucky and she said no, she'd worked hard for her degree, her post graduate qualifications and throughout her career - luck had nothing to do with it. They turned her down out of hand as they said there was no place at the CAB for people with attitudes like that .



Hi Phil,

Honestly it sounds like that was the right choice to me. A successful career needs ability, hard work and luck; not just the first two. Anyone who is successful and does not recognise where they have had luck or advantage would be offering poor advice to someone ‘down on their luck’. Not trying to read too much into a 4-line anecdote, but if some going to CA because they couldn’t pay their bills, had maxed out all their cards etc, I don’t think that a recommendation that they should work harder would have been helpful. 

The flip-side if this is that the group who does need encouragement to work hard would be those with less ‘work experience’, so youth generally, until it clicks that if they work hard they can get where they want to be.

Veritasium explains the luck versus hard work idea better than I can:


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## TominDales (2 Mar 2021)

artie said:


> Problem is, all my life I never knew what I wanted to do and still don't.


That probably means you are quite versatile and could do a number of things well, so its probably a matter of finding the right options. I had the luxury of going on a management course 25 years ago, when corporations had the spare money for these things, we were encouraged to make a life plans considering four boxes; work, family, self, friends (& wider community). None of us had thought to do it in such a structured way, and it had a profound impact on most of us who did this course, helped us make some important life choices. The other thing to consider is your partners needs and interests if you have one. As retirement has a big impact on the whole family. I also support the comments earlier about making it a journey more than a destination and agree its important to do something, I've known too many people drop of their perch shortly after stopping a full-on job. My father stopped for a while at 57 utterly exhausted, but ended up working part time for my brother and that kept his mind going (without the stress) for the next 30 years. You have sparked off an interesting conversation on quite a philosophical topic.


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## TominDales (2 Mar 2021)

RobinBHM said:


> My Dad retired from his job as a financial director in 1986 and died in 2020
> 
> 34 years of retirement!


Crikey, my dads coming up to 32 years of formal retirement, golden generation, paid his mortgage off by 40 and generous pension


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## Phil Pascoe (2 Mar 2021)

Alpha-Dave said:


> Honestly it sounds like that was the right choice to me. A successful career needs ability, hard work and luck; not just the first two. Anyone who is successful and does not recognise where they have had luck or advantage would be offering poor advice to someone ‘down on their luck’.



That's as maybe - but it's incredibly stupid to tell someone successful they got where they got by luck.

An afterthought - I suppose it would be more logically for failures to work there, because they could advise how to fail better?


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## Jameshow (2 Mar 2021)

I must say this has been the most enjoyable off topic thread I have read on here, (along with the cars thread!) It's been a treat to dip in and read all your years of experience and wisdom. Which is a tonic to the other unmentionable threads in the off topic section. 

Cheers James


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## mikej460 (2 Mar 2021)

Retired said:


> Hi,
> 
> I retired from active conflict in 2000 aged 53 and was glad to walk down the works yard for the last time from an highly stressful job.
> 
> ...


I'm exhausted just reading it...


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## D_W (2 Mar 2021)

Alpha-Dave said:


> Hi Phil,
> 
> Honestly it sounds like that was the right choice to me. A successful career needs ability, hard work and luck; not just the first two. Anyone who is successful and does not recognise where they have had luck or advantage would be offering poor advice to someone ‘down on their luck’. Not trying to read too much into a 4-line anecdote, but if some going to CA because they couldn’t pay their bills, had maxed out all their cards etc, I don’t think that a recommendation that they should work harder would have been helpful.
> 
> ...




This is kind of a strange notion. It takes luck to be a teacher and head teacher? It takes luck to start a business making something that 10 other businesses make and have fortunate turns so you're the last one standing. Being a teacher takes being conscientious and diligent. There's not a whole lot of luck involved when the outcome is far more often than not the same just by not doing something wrong or not being sued by some liar. Being thankful that you weren't wrongfully sued is kind of a strange notion. 

If CA's job is to deal with people who make bad decisions, I guess it wouldn't be in their best interest to measure outcomes if that may lead to less makework. 

But almost certainly, a person straightforward enough to connect likely outcomes with certain decisions would lead to a lot of complaints dealing with a group of people who really want someone to tell them it's not their fault (when only a minority of the cohort can really lean on that, but still needs to be led out based on their ability to make decisions going forward).


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## D_W (2 Mar 2021)

Retired said:


> Hi,
> I enjoy leaving my comfort zone to try anything new which grabs my attention;



As a person who cannot resist experimenting with something that has a high rate of failure, only to try it again and again until success is had, I have to find a humorous point in this. 

experimenting with things outside of the comfort zone is really what my comfort zone is. If I had some habit that I could repeat successfully over and over, I would become depressed about it (whereas others who love a habit like that would love it - it's their comfort zone).


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## Regex (3 Mar 2021)

I'm 30 and want to retire now, although I suspect it has more to do with my unfulfilling deskjob writing software for a pensions company than my age. I just want to build my first workshop and make things.


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## starlingwood (3 Mar 2021)

Have you considered volunteering if you have not already done any in your life?


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## Regex (3 Mar 2021)

starlingwood said:


> Have you considered volunteering if you have not already done any in your life?


I actually registered my interest to volunteer at a local museum to do gardening, but that was right as Covid was starting so it was a no go. Have you had much experience with it?



Retired said:


> During warmer weather we have a detached bungalow and gardens which are high maintenance so I'm forever busy; last year really flattened me as I completely removed a 60' long huge hedge including stumps and roots it being incredibly hard work but I managed to complete it just as winter arrived.



I have to say I am very impressed, having recently removed about 10' of box hedges it is hard work! Although I did not have any power tools, just lots of leverage.


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## Bristol_Rob (3 Mar 2021)

What a brilliant thread - I've enjoyed reading all the responses.

I was recently talking to an independent financial adviser and one thing he told me that I feel is worth repeating here is time & money.

He told me most clients when planning for retirement plan to have a fix figure available in their minds (pension/funds etc) for the rest of their lives.
But experience has shown him (_he has been an IFA for about 35-40 years_) that the vast majority of clients spend a large amount of money when fresh into retirement and that the needed funds drop off significantly after 20 years of retirement (or thereabouts). (80+ generally)

as people age and their health drops off, their needs and financial needs also drop off significantly. (Let's not talk about care home fees )

When I reflected on this statement against a lot of senior friends and family I know - I believe this to be true and worth genuine consideration/planning.

My personal comment for this thread is for everyone to not forget that their health is their true wealth. 

Right - back to the shed!


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## starlingwood (3 Mar 2021)

starlingwood said:


> Have you considered volunteering if you have not already done any in your life?



No, im in my 30's and I think Im too busy apart from the odd marshaling at Parkrun ive not done anything but if I had a lot of free time I would definitely do something. How about teaching young offenders woodworking, dont know how one go ahead about it but that would be lovely to do.


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## Jameshow (3 Mar 2021)

Regex said:


> I'm 30 and want to retire now, although I suspect it has more to do with my unfulfilling deskjob writing software for a pensions company than my age. I just want to build my first workshop and make things.





starlingwood said:


> Have you considered volunteering if you have not already done any in your life?


Have you thought about befriending? 

Spend half an hour a week chatting to an older person who lives alone can make the world of difference to them and to you. Voluntary sector organisations in your area will be able to organise it. 

Cheers James


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## fenhayman (3 Mar 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> I remember years ago my cousin doing some sort of motivation course and coming back and saying one thing that stuck in his mind (then mine). The lecturer asked them in turn what their aims in life were .......... then asked them what they were doing to work towards those aims that day - which of course in every case was nothing.
> 
> I think much depends on the person in retirement - my wife works with two people in their early fifties and says they are are both old, and she doesn't think of me as old and I'm disabled and sixty seven.
> 
> Citizen's Advice was mentioned before - a relative was looking forward to working with them, as she felt she had a lot to offer. (She's a very clever and kind lady.) She went for an interview and they asked what her employment history was. She told them she'd been a lifelong teacher and head teacher. The interviewer said she'd been very lucky and she said no, she'd worked hard for her degree, her post graduate qualifications and throughout her career - luck had nothing to do with it. They turned her down out of hand as they said there was no place at the CAB for people with attitudes like that .





Robbo60 said:


> Dead right. The ONLY thing I miss about work is people. Colleagues or customers. Luckily I play golf three times a week so have plenty of interaction there




Have been retired for 30 years from job where I interacted with many professional people.
Have had smallholding for 20 years, now amateur wood turning and gardening. Living with wife at home but find it essential, for the benefit of both of us, to have separate friends. Once a fortnight put on some smart clothes, meet up with about six friends , get on a train to a different destination, a few pints, a good lunch and then home


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## Glitch (3 Mar 2021)

artie said:


> Years ago when I was really working, 100 or more hours per week, *I always thought I would retire to a 9 to 5 job*.
> 
> But around 10 years ago pensions were performing so bad, I cashed out and kind of semi retired, doing enough to pass the time.
> 
> ...



A 9-5 job is not my idea of retirement! 

Retirement definitely needs some planning and some ideas of what you want to do.

Sounds like your options are carry on working, do less work, do different work. It doesn't sound like retirement.

Nothing wrong with carrying on working for as long as you enjoy it.

Are there things you enjoy doing that you don't have enough time for, or other stuff you want to try?


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## Keith 66 (3 Mar 2021)

A friend of mine has a sticker on his van, "Be thrifty til you'r fifty, then spend till the end".
Not a bad way of looking at it.
My parents retired aged 60, they had a good income from pensions & investment bonds & bought what they wanted, Dad bought all the tools he ever wanted & used them. Mum did the same. As they got older they didnt need to buy anything else.
I see people i know fretting over vast pensions from Fords or mobil, & they cant spend it all, Another guy is always worried sick about his huge final salary pension & says he cant afford to retire. He will be the richest man in the graveyard.
You cant take it with you no matter how hard you try.


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## Phil Pascoe (3 Mar 2021)

I have an acquaintance who's worth maybe three or four million - he spends his life worrying that his (well adult) children will waste the money when he dies. Which they will.


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## D_W (3 Mar 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> I have an acquaintance who's worth maybe three or four million - he spends his life worrying that his (well adult) children will waste the money when he dies. Which they will.



Same with a relative, except the figures are somewhere around 15 times that and he lives by himself. He decided he's only going to give a little bit to his kids for the same worry. Here's my tip that I gave to him, you can give it to your friends. "If you don't worry about how the money will be spent while you're alive, I guarantee, it won't bother you when you're dead". 

I hope he remembers his nephew!! I had the kids that he wanted his kids to have (part of his reasoning "if they didn't have kids, then it's not my responsibility to make them comfortable"). Both of his kids learned his spending and investing habits and don't need any help from him at this point, anyway. 

He doesn't find my line about not worrying about it that entertaining 

Send some to me and let me worry about it!!


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## Glitch (3 Mar 2021)

I retired 21 months ago, aged 61 after 44 years in IT related jobs (never a programmer). I could have carried on forever if I wanted to.

Not hard to find other interests if you work in IT 

Covid has impacted plans but I've done a Thames Discovery Programme FROG volunteers course.
I've started a recommissioning a friend's Mini Cooper S that has been laid up in a garage for 20 years.
I've built a shed and BBQ Shack - nearly finished
I'd signed up for our local(ish) public workshop Blackhorse Workshop and smashed a finger up on the bandsaw.
Started a woodwork project to replace the dog walking paraphernalia storage bench in the hall 
Been on numerous pre-Covid holidays
Built an Ugly Drum Smoker and did a couple prototype porcelain enameled drums. What a great material!
Replaced rotten joists under my Ipe decking.
Successfully challenged numerous parking fines for family friend who can't read road signs 

All this interspersed with a lot of procrastination, bad weather and interacting on various website forums like this one.

I've not missed work one bit. I'd never go back to it. 
Having primarily worked from home for a few years before Covid the work camaraderie had waned. 
My lasting work friendships were formed over twenty years ago.

What gets me up 4 mornings per week is the dog and enforced 2 hour walks. Wife does the other 3 mornings.

Wife thinks that now I've retired I'll work 8 hours a day, 7 days a week on various projects so she's on my back on slack days.

She agrees I'm easily distracted and not a good completer finis....


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## Regex (3 Mar 2021)

Jameshow said:


> Have you thought about befriending?
> 
> Spend half an hour a week chatting to an older person who lives alone can make the world of difference to them and to you. Voluntary sector organisations in your area will be able to organise it.
> 
> Cheers James



It's a good idea, but I am already sitting down at my desk all the days, I need something physical to tire me out and take my mind off things. I'll see what's available post-lockdown!


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## Jelly (3 Mar 2021)

Phil Pascoe said:


> I have an acquaintance who's worth maybe three or four million - he spends his life worrying that his (well adult) children will waste the money when he dies. Which they will.



It's funny how strongly people feel about preserving their legacies...

A business contact of mine caused serious (but thankfully, temporary) ructions in his family when he revealed that because none of his children wanted to join the family business and learn it inside and out, he had altered the treatment of share ownership in the company's articles of association (which would not be able to be challenged in the same way a will would be) in order to turn it into a worker co-operative in the event of his death or permanent incapacity.

He's deadly serious that he doesn't want the company to be run or owned by people who didn't understand it and care about it after he's gone, or worse sold off and broken up over time; and was entirely willing to endure some very tense dinner table conversations to achieve that aim.


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## dannyr (3 Mar 2021)

A lot of worker co-operatives haven't worked out but if the rules are well sorted, it's a fine way to go --- Swann Morton here in Sheffield is the best example I know, and John Lewis is fine too as a 'mixed economy' example ---- didn't work so well for Triumph m/cycles.


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## Jelly (3 Mar 2021)

dannyr said:


> A lot of worker co-operatives haven't worked out but if the rules are well sorted, it's a fine way to go --- Swann Morton here in Sheffield is the best example I know, and John Lewis is fine too as a 'mixed economy' example ---- didn't work so well for Triumph m/cycles.



Whilst I don't want to drag the thread off course too much, you're right that it's pretty much a "Go Big or Go Home!" strategy.

Arup Partners, Mott-McDonald and Mondragon Corporation are all huge and extremely successful businesses which are employee owned.​​As are Lush cosmetics, and closer to home Loadhog and Gripple (both sheffield based) operate as employee owned businesses too.​​The manufacturers of Crystic Roofing Systems (the Scott-Bader Group) are also employee owned although via by a charitable trust which draws trustees from employees, so slightly different to a conventional co-op.​
The thing they all have in common is that they were healthy businesses with strong market presence and good workplace cultures before becoming a co-op, or were built on that model from scratch... 

Turning an ailing business like Triumph into a co-op seems like a much much bigger gamble, much in the same way that management buy-outs usually are.


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## Trainee neophyte (3 Mar 2021)

Regex said:


> I'm 30 and want to retire now, although I suspect it has more to do with my unfulfilling deskjob writing software for a pensions company than my age. I just want to build my first workshop and make things.


I retired at 31 - best decision I ever made. The really hard part is actually making the decision to jump ship - everything else just follows on from that. There is only one question to ask: what's in it for you? If you don't like the answer, then change your life. You could be anyone, do any job, live in any place (Brexit made the paperwork harder, but not impossible, and Europe is hardly the new, exciting up - and - coming place to be). Carpe jugular.


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## D_W (3 Mar 2021)

Regex said:


> I'm 30 and want to retire now, although I suspect it has more to do with my unfulfilling deskjob writing software for a pensions company than my age. I just want to build my first workshop and make things.



I'm 14 years past you, but have a job that I've learned to like for what it is. After 10 years of it, I was burned out and realized at the time (and sometimes need to be reminded if I get too deep into "trying to do the right thing" longer than I should be trying to do it when someone doesn't want that - as in a client someone) that the idea that our relatives live fulfilled had less to do with how much better their jobs were (they weren't) or their means were (they weren't) and more to do with how they viewed things. They were happy to have a job that they didn't love every part of because some of their relatives literally lived scratching dirt and almost having to resort to eating it. 

Doing things that you do well at work and making a point of gratitude for it plus a little mini celebration may be as spicy as it gets. Dealing with the parts that you don't like and not letting problems that aren't yours become yours (like worrying about future projects that aren't today, or promotions to a level that you don't want to be in - an actual problem in the past where a supervisor was gung ho to push me into something I despised - he was so confident that everyone just needed to be convinced why his version of them was better than their own)...just tolerate them, do them and let them pass. 

My only one personal tip is don't do a job that you roundly don't like at all, spend foolishly and have nothing to show for it (I never did that, but have seen many bounce around from one thing they had to another in haste because they have a burden laying on them. Suddenly around age 50 they decide they're going to save money and settle down, and it's too late. And then at that age, the jobs don't come quite as quickly and easily. )


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## G S Haydon (3 Mar 2021)

Alpha-Dave said:


> Hi Phil,
> 
> Honestly it sounds like that was the right choice to me. A successful career needs ability, hard work and luck; not just the first two. Anyone who is successful and does not recognise where they have had luck or advantage would be offering poor advice to someone ‘down on their luck’. Not trying to read too much into a 4-line anecdote, but if some going to CA because they couldn’t pay their bills, had maxed out all their cards etc, I don’t think that a recommendation that they should work harder would have been helpful.
> 
> ...



Brilliant! I'm sure many would disagree with the video but in my experience it's bang on. I've had this perspective for many years now but virtually nobody I know thinks like this. Nice to see somebody does.


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## Dave Moore (4 Mar 2021)

Regex said:


> It's a good idea, but I am already sitting down at my desk all the days, I need something physical to tire me out and take my mind off things. I'll see what's available post-lockdown!


What about volunteering for the Canal trust or forestry?


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## JoeS (4 Mar 2021)

Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function. This year has cost me almost all my savings and I’ve just no idea what to do next. I almost feel I am retired, pottering about, building sheds, decorating things that don’t need decorating. 

My previous job involved being very active and being on my feet all day. I was an army reserve and was about to do a years permanent job with the army (my original industry has almost been shut down by C19).


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## Ian down london way (4 Mar 2021)

Bristol_Rob said:


> What a brilliant thread - I've enjoyed reading all the responses.
> 
> I was recently talking to an independent financial adviser and one thing he told me that I feel is worth repeating here is time & money.
> 
> ...


There is an interesting book I used to help me plan my financials for retirement which was called “enough”. It was all about encouraging you to think about the lifestyle you wanted post retirement and it too talked about phases of retirement with different spend profiles. Also to use savings not just sit on them. 
I retired 18 months ago, but plans to do travelling when I retire were short lived .


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## Blackswanwood (4 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function. This year has cost me almost all my savings and I’ve just no idea what to do next. I almost feel I am retired, pottering about, building sheds, decorating things that don’t need decorating.
> 
> My previous job involved being very active and being on my feet all day. I was an army reserve and was about to do a years permanent job with the army (my original industry has almost been shut down by C19).


Sorry to hear that Joe. I guess the global events of the past twelve months has meant support that would have been available was constrained? Have you any thoughts about what next as things hopefully get to the new normal?


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## thomashenry (4 Mar 2021)

41 years here, and the prospect of retirement is what keeps me going in my job. I can't wait. There's so much I want to do and enjoy doing (woodwork for one), but can't do because I spend most of my time bloody working. Realistically, I've got 25-30 years of work left before I'll be able to though.


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## Jameshow (4 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function. This year has cost me almost all my savings and I’ve just no idea what to do next. I almost feel I am retired, pottering about, building sheds, decorating things that don’t need decorating.
> 
> My previous job involved being very active and being on my feet all day. I was an army reserve and was about to do a years permanent job with the army (my original industry has almost been shut down by C19).



Hi so sorry to hear of your injury and loss of function. 

Could you see if there is niche product you could make? A friend of mine makes CNC rememberence items out of decking which although not my cup of tea seem to sell. 

Another option might be to get an apprentice at a joiners workshop. You seem to like woodwork and if you have a passion for it and good work ethic then you might find a workshop willing to take you on. 

Finally find a local men's shed after Easter and find some support there. 

Any questions just ask. 

Cheers James


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## crossg7mwh (4 Mar 2021)

Just a couple of words, relax, look up pond yachts, buy or build, lovely way to spend a sunny afternoon, having a workshop doesn't help unless something to make and then make lots of them, model RC sailing boats, use them sell them.


Regex said:


> I'm 30 and want to retire now, although I suspect it has more to do with my unfulfilling deskjob writing software for a pensions company than my age. I just want to build my first workshop and make things.


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## Sandyn (4 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function.


Most people can't imagine how devastating what you have gone through, can be. I am constantly amazed and humbled by seeing what some some people achieve after life changing injuries. Mark Ormrod for example, is one the most incredibly inspirational men I have seen. You are on a journey that very few have to face, there is no way I can even start to give any meaningful advice, apart from seeking every bit of help you can get for support from friends and the state to get you through your situation and get to a better place.


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## kinverkid (4 Mar 2021)

Regex said:


> It's a good idea, but I am already sitting down at my desk all the days, I need something physical to tire me out and take my mind off things. I'll see what's available post-lockdown!


I remember a ninety year old lady being interviewed after completing her fiftieth marathon. She was asked if she was young when she started. She said she was much younger, she was sixty-five.


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## G S Haydon (4 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function. This year has cost me almost all my savings and I’ve just no idea what to do next. I almost feel I am retired, pottering about, building sheds, decorating things that don’t need decorating.
> 
> My previous job involved being very active and being on my feet all day. I was an army reserve and was about to do a years permanent job with the army (my original industry has almost been shut down by C19).



Hi Joe
Sorry to hear this. As your post shows, life is truly unpredictable. It's not always as easy as just traveling and having fun. I hope there is some support around you. When I started having seizures I needed the support of epilepsy helplines to negotiate what was going on. I'm lucky to of got through it.


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## Doug B (4 Mar 2021)

When I think about retirement I look at the good lady wife’s to do list & get back to work.


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## Regex (4 Mar 2021)

Trainee neophyte said:


> I retired at 31 - best decision I ever made. The really hard part is actually making the decision to jump ship - everything else just follows on from that.


Decisions decisions, we all fear the unknown and get used to our creature comforts.



D_W said:


> I'm 14 years past you, but have a job that I've learned to like for what it is. After 10 years of it, I was burned out and realized at the time (and sometimes need to be reminded if I get too deep into "trying to do the right thing" longer than I should be trying to do it when someone doesn't want that - as in a client someone) that the idea that our relatives live fulfilled had less to do with how much better their jobs were (they weren't) or their means were (they weren't) and more to do with how they viewed things. They were happy to have a job that they didn't love every part of because some of their relatives literally lived scratching dirt and almost having to resort to eating it.
> 
> Doing things that you do well at work and making a point of gratitude for it plus a little mini celebration may be as spicy as it gets. Dealing with the parts that you don't like and not letting problems that aren't yours become yours (like worrying about future projects that aren't today, or promotions to a level that you don't want to be in - an actual problem in the past where a supervisor was gung ho to push me into something I despised - he was so confident that everyone just needed to be convinced why his version of them was better than their own)...just tolerate them, do them and let them pass.
> 
> My only one personal tip is don't do a job that you roundly don't like at all, spend foolishly and have nothing to show for it (I never did that, but have seen many bounce around from one thing they had to another in haste because they have a burden laying on them. Suddenly around age 50 they decide they're going to save money and settle down, and it's too late. And then at that age, the jobs don't come quite as quickly and easily. )


Thank you for the sage advice, I am currently working on finding a new job with colleagues I can better relate to. I agree that one does not necessarily need to find fulfillment in a day job, and instead can use it to fund the life we would otherwise like to lead. RE savings: I am indeed saving thriftily into my pension, as one might expect from someone working in the pensions sector 



kinverkid said:


> I remember a ninety year old lady being interviewed after completing her fiftieth marathon. She was asked if she was young when she started. She said she was much younger, she was sixty-five.


Thanks for the inspiration, I went on a short run today.



Dave Moore said:


> What about volunteering for the Canal trust or forestry?


Forestry sounds interesting and I will see if there is anything close by. I will be applying at the local mining museum initially, also interested in drywalling perhaps there is opportunity in rebuilding some tumbled down dykes in the fields!



crossg7mwh said:


> Just a couple of words, relax, look up pond yachts, buy or build, lovely way to spend a sunny afternoon, having a workshop doesn't help unless something to make and then make lots of them, model RC sailing boats, use them sell them.


It helps the missus in that there will no longer be sawdust on the kitchen counter or on her office desk  Also it's not much fun clearing off your desk so you can saw half an inch off the bottom of a door you're about to hang! Do you make RC boats?



JoeS said:


> Interesting reading. I’m 32 and have just suffered a life changing injury. I’m totally lost, nearly bankrupt after this year and absolutely devastated about my loss of function. This year has cost me almost all my savings and I’ve just no idea what to do next. I almost feel I am retired, pottering about, building sheds, decorating things that don’t need decorating.


What was your injury, if you don't mind my asking? Knowing what it is might help with ideas for new things you could do.


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## doctor Bob (4 Mar 2021)

How much is enough?
I love the structure work gives me. 
I love the banter
It would have been a really crappy year to have retired.


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## Spectric (4 Mar 2021)

Hi

Well you cannot understand how retirement will feel until you do it, one day you are on one side of the fence in the rat race and next on the other and in control of what you do and when but your finances will play a large part in how you live. You will find that you need far less money than what you were used to earning, to many people put it off because they struggle with getting to grips with the money side. The best way to look at it is as if your life is like a piece of string, you dont know how long it is but you do know that it is always getting shorter and that there is a risk that something might cut it short so the sooner you jump ship the more you will have left and it is one thing money cannot buy, and you will find ways to occupy your time, which will not drag. I found that I enjoyed working more when younger, perhaps because the need was higher and I think you want more but certain companies still have fond memories whilst others were just a means to an end, so I suppose it also depends upon what sort of job you have now, some of my nicer jobs were in Basildon, Harlow and Chelmsford but I still think I would have jumped just to have a more relaxed life. You can try your hand at all those things you may have put off and find something that makes you jump out of bed and look forward to. What ever you decide it needs to make you happy and put a smile on your face, so all the best and perhaps you will be another woodworker to join the clan.


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## Flynnwood (4 Mar 2021)

doctor Bob said:


> How much is enough?
> I love the structure work gives me.
> I love the banter
> It would have been a really crappy year to have retired.



Structure is good.
Retirement is time relative. When/if one gets into the 60's, it's more attractive to spend time more freely. Even on the continuation of structure, young man


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## Freddyjersey2016 (4 Mar 2021)

Plus one for Men's Sheds - worth looking at, there are many in Norn Iron.
Also youth organisations like Scouts need people to do stuff on an occasional basis - Scout campsites always need something doing...


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## Sandyn (4 Mar 2021)

doctor Bob said:


> It would have been a really crappy year to have retired


Apart from all the truly horrible things happening, (this may sound odd to some) but I found the full lock-down last year was a really good time for me to be retired. Being forced to stay at home for 10 weeks forced me to slow down. I really missed seeing my grandson, and not being able to attend close relatives/friends funerals was terrible, but the amazing weather we had was some of the best quality time I have ever had. I got into the routine of opening the outside doors of the workshop every morning to beautiful sunshine, turning on the radio, being able to work outside, but at a leisurely pace. There was no where to go, so never any reason to be in a hurry to go there. Having a leisurely breakfast and lunch on the patio in the sunshine was wonderful. I was still able to go cycling, the roads were deserted, so safe. Weather was beautiful, it was bliss. I was always aware of all the dreadful things going on, hearing ambulances most days, all the terrible news,. Just making the most of a really bad situation and not wasting the little time I have left!


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## AFFF (5 Mar 2021)

Most of my working life was spent in the services (Royal Navy) then 20 years in IT culminating in running my own business specialising in database design consultancy for medical imaging software. The latter part of my career was very rewarding but stressful and not good for my health (I now have poor eyesight from constantly staring at pc monitors and type 2 diabetes from lack of exercise due to sedentary lifestyle). Sold my business 14 years ago at the age of 50, paid off the mortgage and set about enjoying early retirement. Ironically I have never been so busy working! But its work I can pick and choose. Lots of home improvement and carpentry for locals who either haven't got the skills or time to do the work they want done. Love it! Get to meet lots of interesting people and every day I seem to be doing something different. I now have the time and opportunity to exercise properly which I do now by beating for local pheasant shoots. Of course, I don't make as much money as I used to but as I paid off the mortgage. It doesn't matter that much. I am fortunate, a lot of other people don't have the options that I had to follow this lifestyle, but I would recommend it. Very good for body and soul!


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## pidgeonpost (5 Mar 2021)

Selecting your choices out of all the possibilities offered here could take up the first couple of years of retirement. .
A bit of planning is a good thing, but plans need flexibility as you never know what life will chuck at you and you may want, or be forced, to change direction. 
I'm 72 and was very fortunate to have been able to take early retirement in 2005. Two weeks later my elderly mum was diagnosed with dementia, so was my mother-in-law a couple of months later. Supporting them and being a 'house-husband' while my wife continued working took a lot of time and energy until my MIL died in 2012.
My father-in-law was a great planner. An ex-Royal Marine Commando and D-Day veteran, he spent the rest of his career as a police officer. He planned meticulously for his retirement in all respects. He retired from the police aged 55, and 2 years later was dead - killed by a faulty gas boiler in a Portuguese holiday property.
Finding some enjoyment in every day is great, whether it's an exquisitely sharpened chisel, a fabulous view, birdsong...the possibilities are endless, and as someone said earlier you don't know how long that piece of string is.


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## MorrisWoodman12 (5 Mar 2021)

Is there a mill nearby, either wind or water? I've volunteered at a local windmill here in East Sussex since retiring and find it very rewarding. The (wood) work is often at a scale (large to enormous) that I don't encounter anywhere else. There's often a bunch of blokes so enjoy the comarardery. And you are helping save something for future generations too.


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## JoeS (5 Mar 2021)

For those that are interested and a few of you including @Regex replied. I seriously broke my leg this summer whilst climbing. The net result is an almost total loss of cartilage loss of my ankle and late stage arthritis. I struggle to walk to the shops some days now, and in the summer probably ran 50/60km a week!

I worked as a televison cameraman since university and mainly worked in the Middle East or in conflict zones. I like the idea of maybe doing an apprenticeship in a joinery shop or similar, but it feels like a very big step and i'd have to work out how to pay my mortgage (...or more realistically sell up etc.) It's just a very much all of a sudden life change. I'm still due a fairly big round of surgery, which will be another 3 months off my feet and then if that doesn't go well, another round to fuse the ankle and another 3 months off my feet again!!!


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## G S Haydon (5 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> For those that are interested and a few of you including @Regex replied. I seriously broke my leg this summer whilst climbing. The net result is an almost total loss of cartilage loss of my ankle and late stage arthritis. I struggle to walk to the shops some days now, and in the summer probably ran 50/60km a week!
> 
> I worked as a televison cameraman since university and mainly worked in the Middle East or in conflict zones. I like the idea of maybe doing an apprenticeship in a joinery shop or similar, but it feels like a very big step and i'd have to work out how to pay my mortgage (...or more realistically sell up etc.) It's just a very much all of a sudden life change. I'm still due a fairly big round of surgery, which will be another 3 months off my feet and then if that doesn't go well, another round to fuse the ankle and another 3 months off my feet again!!!



Brutal. I wish you all the best as you get through this. Hope you stay part of the forum.


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## electricsub (6 Mar 2021)

Hi, 
Speaking as a 77yrs old who retired at 73yrs, I can only offer my method as possible ideas. Later working years I was a freelance Mechanical / Electrical Project Manager - specialising in pumping equipment. Prior to retiring I discussed this with anyone who would listen ( including my better half ) As I owned a bungalow, before retiring we carried out all major repair work on our home, new roof, solar, bathroom & kitchen replacement. wood stove,pebble dashed external house walls and fencing replaced, etc etc. Idea was & is that no major repair work needed after retirement. Decided what I was going to "DO", so fitted out my workshop with lathe etc, refurbish office ( which I already had ) bought third shed. Then what - well during the last year of working I switched to 3 day week over a 6 month period. Now for what I consider probably the most important piece of information I had gathered by talking to retired people - I put structure into my week, by that I mean Mon to Fri, walk dog for around 1 hr, tea and chat with my good lady for about 15 mins, then out of the house ( unless something needs repairing etc ) into office, emails etc, then workshop / garden / greenhouse,to do what ever I have on the "TO DO LIST" after twelve back into house for lunch and chat (again ) out again by 1 pm until between 4 and 5 pm, depends what I am doing. Sat & Sun are different and that I feel is important as it gives a feeling like when working to the week. What have I learnt / done in the past 4 years , learnt myself to wood turn ( pens etc for xmas presents ) general wood working ( repaired chairs etc ) built garden raised beds ( 6 qty ) and now grow veg, plus which may seem odd also grow veg in 10" plastic buckets, greenhouse repaired and growing toms / peppers & cucumbers etc. Replaced two of our wooden fences, and currently about to start repointing our brick walls. Plus on real wet & cold days I am making plastic aeroplane models ( for first time ) Canberra / Vulcan / Hercules etc. I haven't added caravan / travel & photography but there is only so much you can do in a week 
So what would i recommend, think long and hard what you ( and I mean you ) would like to do and do it, but do have a structure to your day / week, I have to say all of the above I in the main never did before retiring, so just decide on what you what and go for it - Good Luck And Stay Safe.


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## AES (6 Mar 2021)

Agree entirely with electricsub - it doesn't mater so much what you do (provided it's what YOU want to do), but a structure to the week is VITAL IMO. Thanks for bringing that point out.


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## TominDales (9 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> For those that are interested and a few of you including @Regex replied. I seriously broke my leg this summer whilst climbing. The net result is an almost total loss of cartilage loss of my ankle and late stage arthritis. I struggle to walk to the shops some days now, and in the summer probably ran 50/60km a week!


Terrible. While its worth thinking through your options now - time for a re-assessment, hopefully the operations will eventually get you moving again and give you more options. Its sounds really grim right now, but hopefully you will be out the other side and find you have many more options. It does not help that Covid is taking so much medical resource, but as the summer picks up hopefully you will get some good treatment. Best wishes Tom


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## TRITON (9 Mar 2021)

Yacht/Mediterranean.
Bread and fish and hot sunny days.


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## francovendee (9 Mar 2021)

I had a job that I enjoyed but it meant long hours and stress. An opportunity to take redundancy when I was 57 arose and I took it. I walked straight into another stressful job that I did for another 3 years.
After discussing it many times my wife we decided to move here to France.
I took my pension aged 60 and it was the same day we moved.
This was a shock to to the system alright! New country, foreign language and a house that needed practically falling down.
At first I wondered what we'd done.
Seventeen years later I would do it all again. My days are now are filled with riding my bike, fixing things, woodwork and taking small breaks in other parts of France.
I think my father dying at 48 helped me take the plunge to retire early.


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## Sandyn (9 Mar 2021)

francovendee said:


> This was a shock to to the system alright! New country, foreign language and a house that needed practically falling down.
> At first I wondered what we'd done.


It's what more people should do!! A completely new life in retirement!! well done, sounds like you made the right decision. France is a beautiful place. The weather will be lovely as well


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## Regex (10 Mar 2021)

JoeS said:


> For those that are interested and a few of you including @Regex replied. I seriously broke my leg this summer whilst climbing. The net result is an almost total loss of cartilage loss of my ankle and late stage arthritis. I struggle to walk to the shops some days now, and in the summer probably ran 50/60km a week!
> 
> I worked as a televison cameraman since university and mainly worked in the Middle East or in conflict zones. I like the idea of maybe doing an apprenticeship in a joinery shop or similar, but it feels like a very big step and i'd have to work out how to pay my mortgage (...or more realistically sell up etc.) It's just a very much all of a sudden life change. I'm still due a fairly big round of surgery, which will be another 3 months off my feet and then if that doesn't go well, another round to fuse the ankle and another 3 months off my feet again!!!



That sounds rough, I hope your surgery goes well.

Perhaps getting lower mortgage payments you'll have less financial stress in the short term, giving you more flexibility for doing something like an apprenticeship. Are you able to negotiate something with the bank?

Since that three month recovery time is definitely going to happen, it might be worth planning and preparing now to do something that doesn't require you to be up and about. As they say, nothing good comes from boredom and you'll feel better for it.

Best of luck.


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