# Personal Changes You've Made - lighthearted ones..



## D_W (4 Aug 2021)

kind of goes along with teh spouse thread (wish I could say I learned to accommodate the spouse and get along better, but we have kids and tight schedules sometimes so it seems like we're generally at odds!!). 


But something that occurred to me the other day - when I was young, I never read instructions for anything. Results were often either poor or incomplete due to that, or assembled item in the case of assembling something with missing parts and function. 

It was always the old joke that buttons and switches on machines were great, and signaled a great man toy, but instructions on how to use them - not so great. 

I've come to realize that I am now the type of person who will read the manual that comes with everything. Whereas I "didn't have the time" to read instructions as a kid, I don't have the time to not read them now (generally not looking to use something 6 times before finding out the right way). 

Some of this is by profession (standards make freelancing a no-no), and some is learned from doing minor and moderate work on my own cars (plus, two of those have been volkswagens, and sometimes there is no reasonable way to fix something, so guessing is a bad idea - no more volkswagens). 

I just never thought I'd be the kind of person who read the manuals and followed instructions. My dad still won't. A friend of mine is a commercial pilot - he's also become a manual reader, now heckling anyone who says "what do you think the approach speed is for X". 

"what does the manual say?"

But recall as a kid that my buddy and I would often joke when running across someone who was really uptight or having a public meltdown about something minor (food at a restaurant), "man, that guy is uptight. I'll bet he puts the seat down and reads assembly manuals, too".


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## artie (4 Aug 2021)

Nowadays I read some of the manual.


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## Jameshow (4 Aug 2021)

Often I don't read the Manuel and the regret not having read the Manuel! 

Cheers James


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## Argus (4 Aug 2021)

If all else fails...................... read the instructions.

If it still doesn't work..................... do what it says.


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## D_W (4 Aug 2021)

Curious of there are parallels to this. There are people who have the ability to organize, i'm not one of them, and they are big adherents once they do. Too much organizing in a non-employee area and I see it as organizing can soon replace doing. 

Spouse is that way. I almost knew where some things were in the first iteration of organizing, but they have been moved. I know where none of them are, but to my lack of credit, the entire basement and garage is a huge mess. Even if it was organized, I would be forced to recognize that I could make 60% of the things that I want to make and get rid of the rest because it can't be organized well. The worst thing I can say in front of the mrs. is "oh, theres an ____. I though I lost that and already bought another ____. Now I have two !!"

Once in a great while, something will spontaneously spring from my junk piles (that the spouse needs), like being able to fabricate parts or get some kind of vinyl fence that has a purchase list of tools and I'll turn to the Mrs "I have all of these already...including the anchors...remember when you told me to get the small pack? For 12 years I have been waiting to use these anchors .HAAAAAAAAAAA! Imagine if you had a normal spouse who didn't keep all of this stuff!!"

"Yes, I'd have a spouse who made no messes and paid other people to do things...I'd rather have that".


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## Jameshow (5 Aug 2021)

D_W is you spouse related to mine and if German decent?! 

Nothing is too organised for her! I guess it comes from her work - Dr, but still you feel like your living in an operating theatre sometimes! 

Cheers James


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## Trainee neophyte (5 Aug 2021)

If you've lost something, and really, really can't find it, then buy a new one. The lost item will immediately make its presence known. 

This is especially true with wives.


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## Doug B (5 Aug 2021)

Trainee neophyte said:


> If you've lost something, and really, really can't find it, then buy a new one. The lost item will immediately make its presence known.


Similar to if I ever lose the wife when we are out & about, I simply engage in conversation with the most attractive woman I can see & miraculously my wife will appear.


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## Blackswanwood (5 Aug 2021)

Doug B said:


> Similar to if I ever lose the wife when we are out & about, I simply engage in conversation with the most attractive woman I can see & miraculously my wife will appear.


That's a high risk tactic as you need your wife to arrive before the Police?


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## clogs (5 Aug 2021)

I'm a lot tidier than her in doors....always building cupboards and putting stuff away inc her's.....
I just love it when asked where such and such is......then go straight to it....
I;ve just sorted out her art work supplies...it all in one place now.....
must be sad.....
bought a load of industrial racking, have the plastic crates, pallets and f/lift just need the barn to get it all together....lol...


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## kinverkid (5 Aug 2021)

My wife tends to put stuff away. I tend to put things back. There's a difference.


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## Terrytpot (5 Aug 2021)

My ball and chain has a thing where she needs to put something somewhere safe…on one occasion we were about to pull off the drive to go on holiday when she remembered she had an additional set of house keys so dashed back in and “put them somewhere safe”…despite the quite thorough searches that were carried out upon our return, the keys managed to stay “somewhere safe” for the next 3 years as that’s how long it took us to find them!


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## Jameshow (5 Aug 2021)

Terrytpot said:


> My ball and chain has a thing where she needs to put something somewhere safe…on one occasion we were about to pull off the drive to go on holiday when she remembered she had an additional set of house keys so dashed back in and “put them somewhere safe”…despite the quite thorough searches that were carried out upon our return, the keys managed to stay “somewhere safe” for the next 3 years as that’s how long it took us to find them!


Where were they?!!! 

Cheers James


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## D_W (5 Aug 2021)

Jameshow said:


> D_W is you spouse related to mine and if German decent?!
> 
> Nothing is too organised for her! I guess it comes from her work - Dr, but still you feel like your living in an operating theatre sometimes!
> 
> Cheers James



she's 75% german, I'm 100% german and (german) swiss (save for an analysis that my sister had done - we're a little black and a little indian - like a very little, but nice to know we got around a little as a group). 

She's 25% italian, so 75% constant organizing, 25% bad temper. 

There's something wrong with my brain as far as organizing goes - seriously - it's agonizing even to do basic organizing - I think of things as groups, not as items in certain orders. But I have the 100% german and german swiss temperament of "that doesn't make sense" whenever the spouse does something that doesn't make sense or blows her stack. It's a surprisingly poor combination!!!

Because of my lack of organization and impatience, though, I've learned to follow instructions to avoid the inevitable 1 hour panic of fixing something that would've taken 5 minutes to do right.


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## Terrytpot (7 Aug 2021)

Jameshow said:


> Where were they?!!!
> 
> Cheers James


If I told you that it would hardly be somewhere safe now would it?


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## TRITON (13 Sep 2022)

artie said:


> Nowadays I read some of the manual.


I like to first look at the cover before throwing it back in the box.


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## sammy.se (13 Sep 2022)

Doug B said:


> Similar to if I ever lose the wife when we are out & about, I simply engage in conversation with the most attractive woman I can see & miraculously my wife will appear.


So you didn't read the "wife manual" then ;-)


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## Doug B (13 Sep 2022)

sammy.se said:


> So you didn't read the "wife manual" then ;-)


There’s a manual  no one told me that, I’m 32 years in & must be getting better at this marriage malarkey as the broken telly syndrome is happening far less than in the early days


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## D_W (13 Sep 2022)

sammy.se said:


> So you didn't read the "wife manual" then ;-)



I think it must've been translated from another language - and poorly - because it doesn't work in English.


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## sawtooth-9 (14 Sep 2022)

Whenever herself puts something in a safe place, and I can't find it - It's usually in the freezer ! And yes, this does include the car keys !


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## Phil Pascoe (14 Sep 2022)

The only things my wife puts away are things we use several times every day. She'd trip over something for twelve months and not put it away.


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## Droogs (14 Sep 2022)

the most recent personal change I've made  is



,my socks


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## Sideways (14 Sep 2022)

Every time I read one of these threads, I feel grateful that my wife agreed to marry me.
She's put up with me for 35 years AND she can navigate !

I seem to have the exception that proves all the stereotypes are true.


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## Just4Fun (15 Sep 2022)

Sideways said:


> AND she can navigate !


Can you recommend a good supplier of unisex maps?


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## Jameshow (15 Sep 2022)

Just4Fun said:


> Can you recommend a good supplier of unisex maps?


On the shelf next to the imperial adjustable wrenches. Next to the 180° angle measures!


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## clogs (15 Sep 2022)

it took 4 attempts to get mine to go out with me.....
then 22 years for her to marry me.....asked plenty of times...
25 years in now and as is said u'd get less time for murder........lol....


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## thetyreman (15 Sep 2022)

I managed to stop picking my nose in my mid 20s and biting my nails in my early 30s, quite proud of myself for that.


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## 1steven (15 Sep 2022)

Gave up sugar thirty years ago


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## flying haggis (15 Sep 2022)

64 and have never smoked.


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## Jameshow (15 Sep 2022)

Is it just me do you you find it harder and harder to make meaningful changes to our habits and ways of life?? 

When I was 12 - 26 I thought that using a homework planner would mean my life would be ordered and homework done in good time - was it Eck!!! 

Fast forwards 30yrs and using a diary in a efficient way is an new years resolution each year!

Or trying not to spend too much time on forums yet what do I do - end up on forums

Rather than reading something meaningful!!


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## Limey Lurker (16 Sep 2022)

thetyreman said:


> I managed to stop picking my nose in my mid 20s and biting my nails in my early 30s, quite proud of myself for that.


How the Hell did you pick your nose with no nails?


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## D_W (16 Sep 2022)

Limey Lurker said:


> How the Hell did you pick your nose with no nails?



He knows the secret of picking your nose without nosebleeds - pick the boogers with soft finger ends. 

I have traveled the same tracks as he did, managed to stop pruning the insides of my nostrils constantly, but still bite the nails. Terrible habit. I've quit a few times like a smoker would say, but will get rolling on something at work and lose track. 

Biggest surprise when you stop biting nails for a while is how dirty they can get under the part that's grown out, and how many things suddenly hurt because you have nails first instead of fingertips (pinching, scratching, etc....)


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## Droogs (16 Sep 2022)

D_W said:


> He knows the secret of picking your nose without nosebleeds - pick the boogers with soft finger ends.


just read that - ... and nope


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## thetyreman (16 Sep 2022)

Limey Lurker said:


> How the Hell did you pick your nose with no nails?


great question! thought no-one would ever ask! I just stick the finger in and pull out the booger/snot then eat it, cheers.


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## thetyreman (16 Sep 2022)

D_W said:


> He knows the secret of picking your nose without nosebleeds - pick the boogers with soft finger ends.
> 
> I have traveled the same tracks as he did, managed to stop pruning the insides of my nostrils constantly, but still bite the nails. Terrible habit. I've quit a few times like a smoker would say, but will get rolling on something at work and lose track.
> 
> Biggest surprise when you stop biting nails for a while is how dirty they can get under the part that's grown out, and how many things suddenly hurt because you have nails first instead of fingertips (pinching, scratching, etc....)


I got some nail polish stuff that makes it taste horrible, that's what made me stop, it does work eventually but it took a few weeks and stopping biting them helped to reduce anxiety a lot.


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## baldkev (17 Sep 2022)

thetyreman said:


> I got some nail polish stuff that makes it taste horrible, that's what made me stop, it does work eventually but it took a few weeks and stopping biting them helped to reduce anxiety a lot.


 i tried that. It worked for a week until i got used to the godawful taste


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## Ttrees (17 Sep 2022)

baldkev said:


> i tried that. It worked for a week until i got used to the godawful taste


Never could quite reach me toes to try!


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## NickDReed (17 Sep 2022)

kinverkid said:


> My wife tends to put stuff away. I tend to put things back. There's a difference.


Preach brother!!


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## stuart little (17 Sep 2022)

1steven said:


> Gave up sugar thirty years ago


I did that 50yrs ago.


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## stuart little (17 Sep 2022)

flying haggis said:


> 64 and have never smoked.


77 & never smoked.


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## D_W (17 Sep 2022)

baldkev said:


> i tried that. It worked for a week until i got used to the godawful taste



Same here. I've read that nail biting is correlated with OCD. Then I read the article five more times to make sure it said the same thing.


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## bushwhaker (17 Sep 2022)

Оh peop, over the years I have come to understand the meaning of "like a pharmacie tidy". My wife is pharmacist. Everything is in its place. 
Apart from me.


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## Jameshow (17 Sep 2022)

bushwhaker said:


> Оh peop, over the years I have come to understand the meaning of "like a pharmacie tidy". My wife is pharmacist. Everything is in its place.
> Apart from me.


Try GP tidy!! Next level up!


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## SteL (17 Sep 2022)

I just accept that I don't (and never will) know where anything is after asking where my keys were only to be told that they're in "the pumpkin". I obviously didn't get the memo that during Halloween the obvious receptacle for keys is "the pumpkin". So the personal change I've made is don't look just ask first.

I was installing a server last week and glanced over the manual - all pretty standard - let's just install it I thought. Step one create a user, step two update the firmware.... no problem... the server has locked up,.. Hmm, let's check the deployment guide again... "don't update the firmware when first setting up the server" it says... D'oh! Time for a phone call. In IT there's the saying RTFM, but I think that ruins the fun, so I still don't read manuals.


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## Henniep (18 Sep 2022)

stuart little said:


> 77 & never smoked.


Stopped smoking at 70 after 52 years


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## Kittyhawk (23 Sep 2022)

Henniep said:


> Stopped smoking at 70 after 52 years


According to Mark Twain giving up smoking is easy. He wrote that he'd done it hundreds of times..


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## Dibs-h (23 Sep 2022)

Not light-hearted but I came across a quote some months back:

_"Limiting access to your life for people who do not have your best interests at heart, IS self-care._"

struck a chord with me. So I started practicing it for the couple of people in my life who it applies to, and life is calmer and more settled.


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## Jonzjob (24 Sep 2022)

flying haggis said:


> 64 and have never smoked.


78 and never smoked either


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## D_W (25 Sep 2022)

Dibs-h said:


> Not light-hearted but I came across a quote some months back:
> 
> _"Limiting access to your life for people who do not have your best interests at heart, IS self-care._"
> 
> struck a chord with me. So I started practicing it for the couple of people in my life who it applies to, and life is calmer and more settled.



I can't remember if I've said this before, but I have coached a few colleagues that someone is "taking advantage of their manners" and they need to be less absolutist about it. If someone is taking advantage of your manners, then it's time for the manners to stop. All the way down to door to door salespeople and telemarketers. When someone shows up at the door and starts a pitch -they're not supposed to be here in the first place (against local laws in a no-canvass neighborhood), or they send an unsolicited email to me at work. For the former, I just close the door without asking or saying anything. The latter, I classify as spam. 

The direct to person emails have become very obnoxious here - aimed at professionals and far different than the kind of email blast spam stuff. It's persistent salespeople who have no relationship with me and who do not provide a legally required "unsubscribe" option. So reporting them as spam attaches a stain on their email address and it also blocks them. 

I used to just ignore the emails, but they have gotten beyond that stating that i either did or didn't respond but still need to. And they are taking care of my employer's required (at least as I perceive it) manners, or I would be a lot more blunt with them.


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## Kittyhawk (28 Sep 2022)

A couple of changes to smoking and drinking which were of great benefit, but were not really of my doing.
I didn't smoke at all up until age 20 when one of my shipmates gave me a Cuban cigar. It was just the finest thing imaginable. Thereafter, for the next year I smoked one or two cigars a day but then Castro started getting a bit difficult and we didn't go to Cúba anymore and cigars got increasingly difficult to get. So I tried other cigars, cigarettes and pipes but in comparison with the Cuban stuff it was like smoking dried up barnacles scraped off the ship's bum. Thus ended my one year career as a smoker.
I used to drink, probably a bit too much as well. At age 24 I passed my Seccond Mate's and a few of us from nautical school went for a night out. Don't remember anything about it except early next morning I woke up lying on my back on someone's front lawn with a crushing pressure in my chest. But that was no problem, just a mangy cat that took the opportunity for a bit of warmth and comfort. What was a problem though was a small tattooed anchor on my right forearm. It was quite nicely done but I detest tattoos. This resulted in a bit of serious introspection - I was molested by a cat, felt absolutely terrible, had blown all my money, undoubtedly made a fool of myself and had a hated tattoo. And thus ended my career as a drinker. Thereafter one or perhaps two beers or glasses of wine, not more. I feel that circumstances conspired in my favour to save me from a few self inflicted problems.


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## JimJay (13 Oct 2022)

I started smoking when I was a student: I bought a packet of twenty St. Moritz Menthol (the ones where you could never be sure if you'd lit it or not). After a year there were still nineteen left in the pack - but it looked kinda cool tucked into my 26" belt. That was the start and end of my smoking career - and I seem to have mislaid the waistline somewhere along the line......


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## Amateur (21 Oct 2022)

I never go out without my, "Tenna Man" in place.


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## Amateur (21 Oct 2022)

I never go into a public loo without checking there is bog roll in that metal dispenser.


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## Amateur (21 Oct 2022)

I stopped wearing these and my bell bottom trousers after I fell off them last week and ended up in A&E.


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## SammyQ (21 Oct 2022)

I'm of pension age and have NEVER watched East Enders, Emmerdale, or Doc Martin.


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## Terry - Somerset (21 Oct 2022)

I have watched all three. My life was immeasurably better after I gave them all up.


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## Just4Fun (17 Nov 2022)

I recently realised that these days I readily make a new piece if I screw something up. Earlier it was a matter of pride to me to repair any mess I made and I regarded making a completely new part as a failure.


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## D_W (17 Nov 2022)

Terry - Somerset said:


> I have watched all three. My life was immeasurably better after I gave them all up.



Doc Martin was initially humorous. It got a bit tired and we get new runs of them from time to time. I guess we'll get them when the pair ends up in a care home? Not sure. Haven't seen it in years. 

We don't get too many of your show on main TV (PBS picked up doc martin). I think the reason for that is we just rip off the format and make an american version of a lot of the others (the office, etc)


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