# How much??



## blurk99 (31 Jan 2022)

We’ll this has to be the most stupidly priced ‘tool kit’ I’ve ever seen…



https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/lorenzi-milano/lifestyle/home-accessories/tool-kit-with-mahogany-wood-box/3607804572338066



Who buys this tat??

J.


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## Droogs (31 Jan 2022)

That is not a mahogany toolbox, its made from birch ply that's been stained.


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## Yojevol (31 Jan 2022)

Droogs said:


> That is not a mahogany toolbox, its made from birch ply that's been stained.


Ah well, in that case I'll pass that one by. Pity, it's got a bodkin in it. My wife is always complaining that I pinch her bodkin.


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## Linus (31 Jan 2022)

Have you seen the travelling champagne cabinet? £2605 per and you have to buy your own champagne!!!!!!


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## doctor Bob (31 Jan 2022)

They are actually quite nice, I ordered all the guys one, one in my garage, one under the sink in case of emergencies, one for my son, and a couple of spares not bad for £52000. 







I'm joking


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## Oscar43634 (31 Jan 2022)

This is what you buy as a gag gift for someone with lots of money who has never even changed a lightbulb before (assuming you also have lots of money).


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## Droogs (31 Jan 2022)

Well I have reported them to trading standards for false advertising and lying about their goods.
I hate these sort of companies, pretentious shills


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## flying haggis (31 Jan 2022)

how in h*ll can they claim that it is a mahogany box????


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## flying haggis (31 Jan 2022)

Droogs said:


> Well I have reported them to trading standards for false advertising and lying about their goods.
> I hate these sort of companies, pretentious shills


good, i was thinking of doing the same with the ASA but i dont know if they police web ads
edit : complained to ASA as well


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## Sporky McGuffin (31 Jan 2022)

flying haggis said:


> how in h*ll can they claim that it is a mahogany box????



That'll be what the manufacturer told them. Mr Porter is a fashion storefront - I bought my work trousers and jacket from them, and they've turned out to be excellent value - though I wouldn't say the same about this.


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## bourbon (31 Jan 2022)

They can't wiggle out of it as they mention Mahogany THREE times in the ad.


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## Geoff_S (31 Jan 2022)

bourbon said:


> They can't wiggle out of it as they mention Mahogany THREE times in the ad.


Well that’s like an incantation then. So it must be true.


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## gcusick (31 Jan 2022)

But so stylish!


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## Terry - Somerset (31 Jan 2022)

Is mahogany a colour or wood from a particular type of tree. I'm sure they would insist on the former.


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## Droogs (31 Jan 2022)

Terry - Somerset said:


> Is mahogany a colour or wood from a particular type of tree. I'm sure they would insist on the former.



It is a genus of tree and if they insist on it being mahogany then the are trading in a CITES banned wood and are classed the same as ivory poachers


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## Sachakins (31 Jan 2022)

Lovely polished head on the end of his shaft
Talking about the hammer


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## baldkev (31 Jan 2022)

i tried to order one but theres a 2 week lead time..... guess I'll go to toolstation


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## Johnwa (1 Feb 2022)

Surely one for the shiny tool collectors, or Gollum maybe


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## clogs (1 Feb 2022)

those lovlies that can afford such couldn't use the tools anyway...

Had a neighbour in France....a retired Major, UK army.....
his wife asked if I could show him the proper way to hold and use a hammer....!!!
that tool kit sounds like it's just for him...


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## Keefy. (1 Feb 2022)

We could all club together and buy it as a leaving gift for Boris, no?

No offence intended.


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## M_Chavez (1 Feb 2022)

clogs said:


> his wife asked if I could show him the proper way to hold and use a hammer....!!!


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## artie (1 Feb 2022)

The only person who would buy that is someone who would never/could never use it.

It's no good to me there's no cold chisel.

There's no job that can't be done with a hammer and a cold chisel.


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## Fergie 307 (1 Feb 2022)

Nearly fell off the sofa when I saw the price. The tools look about the quality you would expect from poundland. But they only have one left so presumably somebody has bought them. Maybe as a post dinner party mystery object game at Jacob Rees-Mogg's house. When all have had a guess they get some tradesman in who tugs his forelock and says, cap in hand, "No sir, I'm afraid that there's a 'ammer".


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## Fergie 307 (1 Feb 2022)

Keefy. said:


> We could all club together and buy it as a leaving gift for Boris, no?
> 
> No offence intended.


Good idea. And good job it doesn't include a spade, would be a waste as he already has one of those.


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## Robbo60 (1 Feb 2022)

My flabber has never been so gasted! Are there really people out there to buy these things?


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## Sporky McGuffin (1 Feb 2022)

Robbo60 said:


> My flabber has never been so gasted! Are there really people out there to buy these things?



Yes. There are people - lots of them - who would see that as a lovely thing to have decorating their house, or as a throwaway gift.

I find it useful to remember that any time I consider the phrase "more money than sense", it actually means "a lot more money than me". The perspectives are very different.


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## John Hall (2 Feb 2022)

Mahogany ply…


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## Jonm (2 Feb 2022)

Keefy. said:


> We could all club together and buy it as a leaving gift for Boris, no?
> 
> No offence intended.


alternatively a one way ticket to St Helena


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## Jonm (2 Feb 2022)

Perhaps one of the fine woodworkers on this site should contact “Mr Porter” with some suggestions using genuine wood. Perhaps need a foreign sounding trading name.

Here is another one from the site


https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/montblanc/lifestyle/leisure-games/plus-purdey-the-art-of-gifting-poker-set/31432202864636752


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## baldkev (2 Feb 2022)

Jonm said:


> Perhaps one of the fine woodworkers on this site should contact “Mr Porter” with some suggestions using genuine wood. Perhaps need a foreign sounding trading name.
> 
> Here is another one from the site
> 
> ...



Its says theres only one left though.... of course it could be a clever marketing technique to get the toffs pressing the botton!

How does it work? I.e, how do you convince people to part with a lot of money? For instance, the 300 quid dice in the pik below......


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## Droogs (2 Feb 2022)

I received a reply from MR Porter today asking for more details, so I have replied explaining again it is not mahogany but birch ply so contravening trading standards by not being as described and if they insit that it is mahogany as they do 3 times in the page they are in breach of CITES and therefore still breaking the law. I suggested they change to mahogany effect, let us see what happens next


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## Sporky McGuffin (2 Feb 2022)

baldkev said:


> How does it work? I.e, how do you convince people to part with a lot of money? For instance, the 300 quid dice in the pik below......



You market to people who think nothing of dropping £300 on a gift for a friend.


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## Droogs (2 Feb 2022)

If you look at their contact details apart from the UK number it is all Middle East oil states.


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## baldkev (2 Feb 2022)

Sporky McGuffin said:


> You market to people who think nothing of dropping £300 on a gift for a friend.



I need to find these people


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## Sporky McGuffin (2 Feb 2022)

baldkev said:


> I need to find these people



You'll have to reciprocate, you know...


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## baldkev (2 Feb 2022)

Im sure i can think of something cooler than a dice for their 300 quid


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## Sporky McGuffin (2 Feb 2022)

Yeah, but they've already got two of whatever you come up with!


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## baldkev (2 Feb 2022)

I shamelessly copied this from the photos of what you last made thread ( i think paul found these on youtube and did one for his wife )
I doubt theyve got 2 of these  more unique than an aluminium dice


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## Sporky McGuffin (2 Feb 2022)

That might just work... But pretend you got them from a lovely little pop-up boutique.


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## RobinBHM (2 Feb 2022)

Keefy. said:


> We could all club together and buy it as a leaving gift for Boris, no?
> 
> No offence intended.


I can’t see Boris being very ‘handy’ somehow, Mind you, he likes to model himself on Churchill, whose hobby was bricklaying


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## Droogs (2 Feb 2022)

yeah but Churchil's bricks were cuboid. I think the only ones Boris has just now are tubular


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## woodieallen (2 Feb 2022)

Geoff_S said:


> Well that’s like an incantation then. So it must be true.


Like Oak Furniture Land....

no veneer in 'ere (which is an insult to Chippendale, en passant) but what they forget to mention is that their stuff is made of itty-bitty glued-together lumps of offcuts.


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## woodieallen (2 Feb 2022)

To be fair, they don't say solid mahogany ......but even if it was veneered mahogany...it would still be solid mahogany but very, very thin.

But you're right....it's stained ply.


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## woodieallen (2 Feb 2022)

Anyway, you can keep your mahogany box. My sights are set on something much better


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## baldkev (2 Feb 2022)

woodieallen said:


> Anyway, you can keep your mahogany box. My sights are set on something much better


 for very expensive bottles of plonk

I might invent gold plated oak and start ' gold plated oak furniture land'


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## Fergie 307 (3 Feb 2022)

baldkev said:


> I shamelessly copied this from the photos of what you last made thread ( i think paul found these on youtube and did one for his wife )
> I doubt theyve got 2 of these  more unique than an aluminium dice


based on the relative quality of the pieces your roses ought to be about £3 grand each!


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## Garden Shed Projects (3 Feb 2022)

Mr Porter is a genius. If he is selling any of that stuff he must be laughing his head off. Those corkscrews are available for less than a tenner on Amazon, slap some carbon fibre on and put in a fancy box and you have a 13000% mark up, pure genius.


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## Sporky McGuffin (3 Feb 2022)

That's the point though. The bread and butter is the clothing, which goes from not-utterly-daft prices upwards (very upwards). The giftware is an add-on - sell one or two items a week and it significantly boosts the bottom line.


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## IZZY (3 Feb 2022)

baldkev said:


> for very expensive bottles of plonk
> 
> I might invent gold plated oak and start ' gold plated oak furniture land'


You could be on a winner . There used to be a saying years ago that " if you could chrome plate S**t people would buy it" I guess that the Porter people have latched onto.


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## Cozzer (3 Feb 2022)

woodieallen said:


> Like Oak Furniture Land....
> 
> no veneer in 'ere (which is an insult to Chippendale, en passant) but what they forget to mention is that their stuff is made of itty-bitty glued-together lumps of offcuts.



Aren't they the outfit that have "Ain't nothin' like the real thing" playing in the advert background?!


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## accipiter (3 Feb 2022)

Having a bit of a sort out of my workshop because I'm going to line the breeze block walls and came across some BM blanks and a bit of 4 x 2 I d bought over 30 years ago.Reading this thread I was a bit taken aback re the mention of CITES and now being unable to buy/sell apparently. Seems it is available with CITES *trade*.A Google search came up with this to James Latham:

https://www.lathamtimber.co.uk › br...
Brazilian Mahogany Hardwood | Latham Timber

https://www.lathamtimber.co.uk/products/hardwoods/south-american/brazilian-mahogany
CITES listed but available with CITES trade. Colour varies from reddish brown to deep reddish brown. Medium textured, the grain is straight to interlocked."

Now just to decide at some point what I do with the small bits I have? I don't see me buying any new BM stock at any time.


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## Droogs (3 Feb 2022)

The only problem is that according to a UN report last year (I think) over 90% of BM sold in the US and Europe was logged illegally. Wish i could find that report to pass on to Mr Porter. They emailed me again today to thank me and say they are investigating the items from this supplier.


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## Sandyn (3 Feb 2022)

baldkev said:


> ts says theres only one left though


They store all the others on the right!!.
I would spend £20 on a present for a friend, so it's about 250 times that. There's many people in the world with 250 times more money than I have. I suppose it's all relative to what you have. It looks like a Harrods version of an Ikea tool set.
I think there becomes a point where you can sell any [email protected] for a fortune, it becomes a statement. "I'm so rich I can spend £5k on a pile of [email protected]"
When I worked at IBM, a customer wanted a working solid gold laptop. They declined.


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## Zedgeezer (3 Feb 2022)

Droogs said:


> That is not a mahogany toolbox, its made from birch ply that's been stained.


Be fair though, the staining is at least average, and he's used felt tipped pens rather than crayon to outline the tools.
That, plus the way the screws or 4" nails used at the joints are concealed excellently. I was almost reaching for my wallet!


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## Zedgeezer (3 Feb 2022)

Jonm said:


> alternatively a one way ticket to St Helena


I have worked with many people from Saint Helena. The "Saints" are a fantastic island of people. Why would we inflict Boris on them. Maybe better (and cheaper) to send him to the Ukraine / Russia border with a pink "I hate Putin" T-Shirt.


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## Jonm (3 Feb 2022)

Zedgeezer said:


> I have worked with many people from Saint Helena. The "Saints" are a fantastic island of people. Why would we inflict Boris on them. Maybe better (and cheaper) to send him to the Ukraine / Russia border with a pink "I hate Putin" T-Shirt.


But they do have previous experience of hosting undesirable ex leaders.


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## Jonm (3 Feb 2022)

Sandyn said:


> I would spend £20 on a present for a friend, so it's about 250 times that. There's many people in the world with 250 times more money than I have.


A good point but would you spend £20 on a present which is only worth about 40p and would your friend appreciate it?


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## rafezetter (3 Feb 2022)

Droogs said:


> Well I have reported them to trading standards for false advertising and lying about their goods.
> I hate these sort of companies, pretentious shills



I've sent them a similar email, stating I will as well.



woodieallen said:


> To be fair, they don't say solid mahogany ......but even if it was veneered mahogany...it would still be solid mahogany but very, very thin.
> 
> But you're right....it's stained ply.



States "mahogany wood" multiple times - not "stained" or "coloured" or even "veneered". By most peoples understanding that would mean "pure solid mahogany wood".


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## Zedgeezer (3 Feb 2022)

Jonm said:


> But they do have previous experience of hosting undesirable ex leaders.


From my experience they are trusting of Brits, extremely open, but also street wise. Boris would have no chance!


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## the great waldo (4 Feb 2022)

clogs said:


> those lovlies that can afford such couldn't use the tools anyway...
> 
> Had a neighbour in France....a retired Major, UK army.....
> his wife asked if I could show him the proper way to hold and use a hammer....!!!
> that tool kit sounds like it's just for him...


Maybe he only knew how to use the hammer on a revolver!!
Cheers
Andrew


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## the great waldo (4 Feb 2022)

woodieallen said:


> Anyway, you can keep your mahogany box. My sights are set on something much better


Excuse my French, but that really is taking the *iss. Mind you I have met some people who would buy something like that for that price !!
Cheers
Andrew


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## Cozzer (4 Feb 2022)

Talking of the price of stuff, I took a small parcel off my postman yesterday.
Wife's name on the label, so assumed it was yet more day/night/24 hour/reduce wrinkle/look pampered type stuff....but no.
_"Ah...good. That's for the dog..." _she stated, and proceeded to open said cardboard box.
As for the size of the box, it turned out that you could've easily got 4 of the contents in it.
But I digress...

The box contained one plastic "tub" of dog food supplement.
The dog in question is going on 9, a tad plump, and is feeling it, bless him. He's lazy, laid-back, and has always had the attitude of "Well, you threw it...you get it..."
The tub was opened, and the contents sniffed. (By my wife, not the dog.)
_"Phew!"_, she exclaimed. _"I hope it does him more good than it smells!"_
"Hmmmmm?" I replied, feigning much interest.
_"It's got all sorts of good stuff in it...enzymes for his fur and joints, good bio stuff for his stools an' stuff....it's even got shitake mushrooms blended in...."_
"He eats better than I do!", I said, peeking into the container. "Ye Gods! It's only half full!"
So we had a cardboard box that could've held 4 - perhaps more - containers, and now a tub that was only 50% full anyway!
Needless to say, I looked at the label, and spotted "net weight 115gm".
"This isn't going to last long! How much does he have a day?"
_"There's a little plastic ladle inside. For his weight, it's recommended 2 measures a day",_ the light-of-my-life replied.
"Well, at that rate, we'll have to be getting another tub in a week or so!"
That's when there was one of those discernible silences. You know the kind of thing. It normally follows some kind of an admission or faux pas, with the added thought of "Please don't ask any more. Just leave it there..."
I took the opportunity to ask the obvious.
_"£50. Plus postage...."_
A quid for 2 grams!
It better bloody work!


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## Jonm (4 Feb 2022)

Cozzer said:


> The box contained one plastic "tub" of dog food supplement.
> 
> A quid for 2 grams!
> It better bloody work!


Our dog sounds the opposite to yours, loves chasing a ball. She is on a daily tablet. Here is a photo of her in feb 2020






That massive bump on her right cheek is inoperable terminal cancer and it was bleeding, affecting her eye, not long to go. Put her on pain killers and anti inflammatories just to make life easier for her.

Here she is four weeks later




Hardly a bump showing. Clearly the tablets triggered an immune response. And that is how it has remained, slight bump and the tumour looking far less angry than in November 2019 when it was first diagnosed. Tablets cost about £2 a day.


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## Fergie 307 (4 Feb 2022)

IZZY said:


> You could be on a winner . There used to be a saying years ago that " if you could chrome plate S**t people would buy it" I guess that the Porter people have latched onto.


Harley Davidson have been doing that for years


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## Sandyn (4 Feb 2022)

Jonm said:


> A good point but would you spend £20 on a present which is only worth about 40p and would your friend appreciate it?


I definitely wouldn't, but in a way, it reinforces the point I was trying to make. Some people have so much money that they wouldn't care what the thing was worth. My presents are always the vest value I can find


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## Sporky McGuffin (4 Feb 2022)

Sandyn said:


> My presents are always the vest value I can find



Here you go. 



https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/fear-of-god/clothing/gilets/wool-vest/560971904252077


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## Sandyn (4 Feb 2022)

Sporky McGuffin said:


> Here you go.
> 
> https://www.mrporter.com/en-gb/mens/product/fear-of-god/clothing/gilets/wool-vest/560971904252077


and next week I'll buy the sleeves!! 

£1195 and it fits like a sack!!


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## Sporky McGuffin (4 Feb 2022)

You did say vest value...


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## Cozzer (4 Feb 2022)

Jonm said:


> Our dog sounds the opposite to yours, loves chasing a ball. She is on a daily tablet. Here is a photo of her in feb 2020
> View attachment 128605
> 
> 
> ...



That's brilliant. A relief for all concerned. 
I've lost too many dogs over the years, and admit that it's as upsetting - if not more - than losing a "proper" family member.
This £50 "bargain" dust I mentioned earlier was due to my better half reading about the decreasing life expectancy of certain breeds, mainly due to kibble and tinned foods being so processed, most of the beneficial contents are lost. Apparently the life expectancy of retrievers, for example, has dropped from 17 years right down to circa 10 in the last few years.
Best of luck to you and your girl, bless 'er....


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## IZZY (5 Feb 2022)

Sandyn said:


> and next week I'll buy the sleeves!!
> 
> £1195 and it fits like a sack!!


...fit's like a sack of....


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