Joke Thread 4

[Doug B]

 

[Jaco]

 

[Jaco]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[stuart little]

Some people get lonely.
They enjoy chatting.
However I suspect its just a few lonely AIs that have gone rogue.

Who is Al ?

 

[Tris]

Who is Al ?

Dunno, but he keeps calling me Betty

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Vulcan]

 

[Mynewka]

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. ️

'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'

'I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

 

[Doug B]

 

[Daniel2]

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Jaco]

Dom's fast facts: Why was that even a survey question?​

According to a study published by the Schizophrenia Research Journal, 50.6% of people who developed schizophrenia during their adult years reported owning a cat during their childhood. A study of 293 serial killers spread across 29 countries revealed that 11.2% of them were born in January - more than in any other month. This is quite remarkable, as January only accounts for 7-9% of births worldwide. A survey of American businesses found that 33% of entrepreneurs are dyslexic. In a study from 2013, scientists found that men with bald or balding heads are 32% more likely to develop heart disease. Blind people suffer four times more nightmares than sighted people do. Nightmares account for 25% of the dreams of those born blind, versus 6% of the dreams of those born with full sight.

 

[JAW911]

And the punchline is…….?